Podcast name: Take Your Shoes Off (TYSO)

Episode title: Matt McCusker (MSSP) on TYSO – #355

YouTube URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bS4l1tnfxlM

TRUE video duration: 1:54:25

Last transcript timestamp used: [01:53:59]

Transcript status: βœ… Full

1. QUICK REFERENCE BOX

  • Top 3 Books

    • The City of God by St. Augustine [16:02] πŸ”— Amazon Search

    • The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt [21:22] πŸ”— Amazon Search

    • [UNKNOWN TITLE] (History of Rome) by [UNKNOWN β€” TO BE FILLED IN] [14:46] πŸ”— [AMAZON LINK TO BE ADDED]

  • Top 5 Products & Services

  • Guests: Matt McCusker (https://www.mattmccusker.com/)

  • Top 3 Quotes:

    • “I’m an analogy guy, and it’s like if somebody has a booger in their nose… just tell them.” β€” Rick Glassman [06:47] ⭐

    • “I think in its healthiest state fame is a byproduct of the thing that you do.” β€” Rick Glassman [18:30]

    • “Real men finish with both hands.” β€” Rick Glassman [01:48:42] ⭐

  • Sponsors:

    • Function Health: Get tested for 160+ biomarkers. Join at functionhealth.com/tyso or use code tyso25 for $25 off. [03:34] πŸ”— Amazon Search

    • Klarna: Flexible interest-free payments. [04:06] πŸ”— Amazon Search

    • Underdog Fantasy: Make picks, win money. Promo code TYSO for $50 bonus. [04:32] πŸ”— Amazon Search

  • You’ll love this episode if you’re interested in: Standup comedy, pickup basketball strategy, Roman history, body positivity debates, dating analogies.

  • Most Searched For: Muscle Mommies, Roman Consuls, Fat-bodied Movement

  • Total count summary: 3 books Β· 22 products Β· 36 people Β· 7 concepts

2. EPISODE OVERVIEW

  • Episode title & number: Matt McCusker (MSSP) on TYSO – #355

  • Host: Rick Glassman. Comedian, actor, and creator of the Take Your Shoes Off podcast. Wikipedia

  • Guest: Matt McCusker. Standup comedian, author, and co-host of Matt and Shane’s Secret Podcast. Official Site

  • Approximate duration: 1:54:25

  • Episode summary: Rick Glassman and Matt McCusker sit down for their first extended conversation, blending silly roleplay with genuine discussions on history, body positivity, fitness, and pickup basketball. The duo compares notes on physical comedy, navigating the tricky landscape of modern fame, and the unspoken rules of approaching women.

  • Key Themes:

    • The evolution of social media fame versus earned skill.

    • Historical lessons from the Roman Republic regarding human ego and glory.

    • The nuance of body positivity, health accountability, and shame.

    • Standup comedy dynamics and the anxiety of meeting your heroes.

    • The unwritten rules of physical contact in pickup basketball.

3. TIMESTAMP DIRECTORY

  • [00:00] β€” Podcasting Scenes β€” NY vs. LA podcast spheres.

  • [02:14] β€” Water Aesthetics β€” Looking cool while drinking water.

  • [06:47] β€” Direct Communication β€” “Fixing the wire” and booger analogies.

  • [09:35] β€” Meeting Idols β€” Louis C.K. and getting starstruck.

  • [13:30] β€” Roman Republic β€” Discussing consuls, Caesar, and the pursuit of glory.

  • [18:22] β€” Modern Fame β€” The democratization of celebrity vs. curated skill.

  • [22:26] β€” Approaching Women β€” Moving off dating apps into the real world.

  • [27:17] β€” Demolition & Stereotypes β€” Rick and Matt navigate tricky comedy boundaries.

  • [30:13] β€” “Muscle Mommies” β€” Athleticism and physical attraction. ⭐

  • [39:14] β€” Body Positivity Debate β€” Fat-bodied terminology, Jillian Michaels, and nutrition.

  • [49:15] β€” “Fat-bodied Brothers” β€” The joy of seeing out-of-shape people hit the gym.

  • [51:06] β€” Cannabis vs. Alcohol β€” Preferences for edibles and podcasting high.

  • [56:53] β€” Cuck Culture β€” Explaining “hotwifing” and internet oddities.

  • [01:04:37] β€” Gym Roleplay β€” Rick and Matt simulate flirting at the gym. ⭐

  • [01:08:27] β€” Generational Attractions β€” The cultural shift from boobs to butts.

  • [01:14:46] β€” Psychology & Math β€” Behaviorism, Pavlov, and Rick’s school struggles.

  • [01:18:14] β€” “Ricky’s on the Loose” β€” Rick’s troubled middle school stories.

  • [01:26:13] β€” Premium Water β€” Glass bottles vs. plastic, and comedy club riders.

  • [01:32:06] β€” High Maintenance Orders β€” Modifying food and the fear of allergies.

  • [01:35:50] β€” Pickup Basketball β€” The physicality, rules, and trash talk of the game.

  • [01:48:42] β€” Going Left β€” Finishing with both hands in basketball (and life).

4. PEOPLE MENTIONED

5. BOOKS REFERENCED

  • The City of God by St. Augustine. [16:02]. Context: Matt discusses the introduction of intention versus perception in early Christian philosophy as a counter to Roman ideals. πŸ”— Amazon Search

  • The Anxious Generation by [Jonathan Haidt] β€” [UNCONFIRMED]. [21:22]. Context: Rick discusses the impact of smartphones on childhood anxiety. πŸ”— Amazon Search

  • [UNKNOWN TITLE] by [UNKNOWN β€” TO BE FILLED IN]. [14:46], [17:46]. Context: The book Matt is currently reading about the Roman Republic and the pursuit of glory. πŸ”— [AMAZON LINK TO BE ADDED]

6. PRODUCTS & SERVICES

  • Liquid Death Water β€” Beverage. [02:14]. Context: Discussing the aesthetic of drinking out of a can versus a plastic bottle. πŸ”— Amazon Search

  • Function Health β€” Blood testing service. [03:34], [36:15]. Context: Ad read by Rick for tracking 160+ biomarkers. πŸ”— Amazon Search

  • ChatGPT β€” AI Software. [03:42], [37:28]. Context: Mentioned as integrating with Function Health. πŸ”— Amazon Search

  • Claude (“Claw”) β€” AI Software. [03:42], [37:28]. Context: Mentioned alongside ChatGPT. πŸ”— Amazon Search

  • Klarna β€” Fintech App. [04:06], [34:47]. Context: Sponsor read for payment flexibility. πŸ”— Amazon Search

  • Underdog Fantasy β€” Sports Betting App. [04:32], [34:05]. Context: Sponsor read for making picks. πŸ”— Amazon Search

  • XLR Cable β€” Audio Equipment. [08:58]. Context: Referencing podcast equipment troubleshooting. πŸ”— Amazon Search

  • Matzah Ball Soup β€” Food. [24:57]. Context: A joke about Jewish culinary stereotypes. πŸ”— Amazon Search

  • Magic: The Gathering β€” Card Game. [29:49]. Context: Rick explains his nerdy upbringing. πŸ”— Amazon Search

  • Witchblade β€” Comic Book. [29:54]. Context: Matt’s early exposure to illustrated female characters. πŸ”— Amazon Search

  • In-N-Out Burger β€” Food. [45:47]. Context: Rick uses this as a counterbalance to eating grass-fed beef. πŸ”— Amazon Search

  • Cannabis / Weed / Edibles / Rosin Oil β€” Recreational substance. [51:06], [52:31], [54:28]. Context: Deep dive into dosing (10mg vs. 200mg) and podcasting high. πŸ”— Amazon Search

  • Rash Guards β€” Clothing. [58:01]. Context: Matt discusses a joke that got him temporarily branded a weirdo online. πŸ”— Amazon Search

  • Baseball Cap β€” Clothing. [59:41]. Context: Rick’s ideal “athletic leisure” aesthetic. πŸ”— Amazon Search

  • Dating Apps (General) β€” Software. [01:02:13]. Context: Bypassing these apps for meeting people in real life. πŸ”— [AMAZON LINK TO BE ADDED]

  • Kohl’s Sunday Newspaper Ad β€” Print Media. [01:13:54]. Context: Early pre-internet puberty milestones. πŸ”— Amazon Search

  • Tough Actin’ Tinactin Spray β€” OTC Medicine. [01:18:21]. Context: Rick talks about creating fake burns to get out of class. πŸ”— Amazon Search

  • Blue Painter’s Tape β€” Hardware. [01:18:42]. Context: Teachers taped Rick to his desk. πŸ”— Amazon Search

  • Apple Watch β€” Tech Wearable. [01:44:22]. Context: Rick tracks calories burned playing basketball vs. standard gym workouts. πŸ”— Amazon Search

  • Mountain Valley Spring Water β€” Beverage. [01:26:13]. Context: They discuss its perceived drop in quality post-acquisition. πŸ”— Amazon Search

  • Glacial Spring Water β€” Beverage. [01:27:46]. Context: Rick’s premium glass bottle preference. πŸ”— Amazon Search

  • Evian Spring Water β€” Beverage. [01:29:56]. Context: Discussing acceptable water brands to find in a comedy club green room. πŸ”— Amazon Search

7. COMPANIES & BRANDS

  • YouTube β€” Platform. [00:00]. Where the podcasts exist. πŸ”—

  • Instagram β€” Social Media. [22:32], [47:34], [01:02:13]. Discussed as the modern dating app and metric for self-worth.

  • Bad Friends β€” Podcast Network. [00:05]. Referenced as a podcasting juggernaut.

  • Matt and Shane’s Secret Podcast β€” Podcast Network. [00:20]. Matt’s primary show.

  • The Joe Rogan Experience β€” Podcast. [10:11]. The pinnacle of comedy podcasting right of passage.

  • Function Health β€” Biotech. [03:34]. Sponsor. Positive sentiment. πŸ”—

  • Klarna β€” Finance. [04:06]. Sponsor. Positive sentiment. πŸ”—

  • Underdog Fantasy β€” Sports Betting. [04:32]. Sponsor. Positive sentiment. πŸ”—

  • Just for Laughs Comedy Festival β€” Event. [05:04]. Rick’s upcoming tour stop.

  • Edinburgh Fringe Festival β€” Event. [05:04]. Rick’s upcoming tour stop.

  • Nike β€” Apparel. [01:02:02], [01:11:00]. Joked as a potential dating profile sponsor. πŸ”—

  • The North Face β€” Apparel. [35:02]. Rick flexes his backpack during an ad. πŸ”—

  • Erewhon β€” Grocery. [24:00], [01:04:37], [01:36:15]. Setting for picking up women with the “dropped papers” trick.

  • Bed Bath and Beyond β€” Retail. [01:04:37]. Casual public interaction setting.

  • Victoria’s Secret β€” Retail. [01:14:27]. Storefront causing Pavlovian responses.

  • Kohl’s β€” Retail. [01:13:54]. Sunday ad nostalgia.

  • Cap City β€” Venue. [01:29:42]. Austin comedy club.

  • Creek and the Cave β€” Venue. [01:29:47]. Austin comedy club.

  • Comedy Mothership β€” Venue. [01:29:51]. Austin comedy club.

  • Riviera Theater β€” Venue. [01:51:36]. Chicago venue Matt is playing.

8. MEDIA REFERENCED

  • Bad Friends Universe (Podcast) β€” Referenced. [00:05].

  • Matt and Shane’s Secret Podcast (Podcast) β€” Hosted by guest. [00:20].

  • The Joe Rogan Experience (Podcast) β€” Referenced heavily. [10:11], [10:34].

  • John Adams (TV Show) β€” Mentioned. [12:46]. Starring Paul Giamatti. πŸ”— Amazon Search

  • Saint Augustine (Song) β€” Mentioned. [16:15]. By Sara Bareilles.

  • Waitress (Musical/Album) β€” Mentioned. [16:29]. By Sara Bareilles. πŸ”— Amazon Search

  • Tosh Show (Podcast) β€” Referenced. [20:09]. Hosted by Daniel Tosh.

  • We Don’t Talk Anymore (Song) β€” Referenced. [34:10]. By Charlie Puth.

  • The Star-Spangled Banner (Song) β€” Joked about. [34:16].

  • Queer Eye (TV Show) β€” Recommended. [30:24]. Rick discusses crying to the show’s transformative elements.

  • Shark Tank (TV Show) β€” Referenced. [30:34]. Compared to the emotional arc of Queer Eye.

  • Surrounded (Web Series/Debate) β€” Discussed. [39:27]. Featuring Jillian Michaels debating 20 body-positive activists.

  • Stoner Dads (Podcast) β€” Matt’s former show. [52:31]. Getting incredibly high on mic.

  • This Past Weekend (Podcast) β€” Mentioned. [57:56]. Theo Von’s show where Matt got viral heat.

  • Premium Blend (TV Show) β€” Mentioned. [01:26:00]. Nick Swardson’s water cooler bit.

  • The Ultimate Fighter (TV Show) β€” Referenced. [01:49:36]. A pitch for a reality show about only using your left hand in basketball.

9. KEY CONCEPTS & IDEAS

  • Roman Consuls & Glory

    • Explanation: The ancient Roman Republic structure which utilized two consuls to prevent tyranny, driven largely by individuals seeking public glory.

    • Timestamps: [13:30], [17:46]

    • Application: Used as a parallel to modern social media and the hollow pursuit of vanity without merit.

  • Fame vs. Skill Curating

    • Explanation: The idea that fame used to be a byproduct of mastering a craft (acting, comedy, music), but social media created a direct, unearned pathway to fame.

    • Timestamps: [18:22], [21:22]

    • Application: Discussing why modern algorithms induce anxiety in the youth by reducing social status to hard numerical metrics.

  • Fat-Bodied Terminology & Accountability

    • Explanation: The modern shift in body positivity language, reclaiming the word “fat” as a descriptor rather than a slur.

    • Timestamps: [39:14], [46:50]

    • Application: Matt and Rick debate the line between shaming someone and holding them accountable for health metrics, referencing corporate food companies co-opting the movement.

  • Direct vs. Indirect Communication

    • Explanation: The difference in pausing polite conversation to immediately fix a technical issue versus letting it slide.

    • Timestamps: [06:47]

    • Application: Rick’s analogy of having a “booger in your nose” β€” true respect is just pointing it out immediately to fix it.

  • Muscle Mommies & Aesthetic Preferences

    • Explanation: The cultural shift towards admiring highly muscular, fit female physiques (“muscle mommies”) and the generational shift from focusing on breasts to focusing on glutes.

    • Timestamps: [30:13], [01:08:27]

    • Application: Used as an entry point to a wildly improvised flirtation scene at the gym.

  • Hotwifing & Cuck Culture

    • Explanation: Internet subcultures wherein men share risque photos of their wives to entice other men (“bulls”).

    • Timestamps: [56:53]

    • Application: Matt shares an anecdote of a friend who unknowingly received “hotwifing” materials via WhatsApp.

  • Classical Conditioning (Pavlovian)

    • Explanation: Learning through association, where a neutral stimulus becomes associated with a meaningful stimulus.

    • Timestamps: [01:14:46]

    • Application: Rick links his intense reaction to Victoria’s Secret storefronts and laundry lines to early pubescent associations with underwear.

10. QUOTES & SOUNDBITES

Tier 1 β€” Top Quotes:

  • “I’m an analogy guy, and it’s like if somebody has a booger in their nose… just tell them.” β€” Rick Glassman [06:47] ⭐

  • “It’s an old human trick for not taking accountability.” β€” Matt McCusker [07:35]

  • “I think in its healthiest state fame is a byproduct of the thing that you do.” β€” Rick Glassman [18:30]

  • “I’m not looking to find my… I want to find a wife. I’m not going to you ’cause you might be my girlfriend.” β€” Rick Glassman [01:03:19] ⭐

  • “Real men finish with both hands.” β€” Rick Glassman [01:48:42] ⭐

Tier 2 β€” Notable Mentions:

  • “It was a civilization where glory was the only path. That’s before Christ so there’s no like turn the other cheek.” β€” Matt McCusker [15:10]

  • “If you’re going to get… if I’m going to have like one or two drinks that’s fine… if I have eight now I’m like I could potentially wreck my family.” β€” Matt McCusker [51:29]

  • “I got the energy of a 6’5.” β€” Rick Glassman [01:00:32]

11. RESOURCES & LINKS

  • Function Health β€” 160+ Lab Tests. [URL: functionhealth.com/tyso] (Code tyso25). [03:34]. Category: Health Tech. πŸ”— Amazon Search

  • Klarna β€” Flexible payments. [URL: klarna.com]. [04:06]. Category: Finance.

  • Underdog Fantasy β€” Sports picks. [URL: underdogfantasy.com]. [04:32]. Category: Sports Betting.

  • Rick Glassman Tour Tickets β€” Tour newsletter. [URL: rickglassman.com/tour]. [05:31]. Category: Live Events.

  • Matt McCusker Tour Tickets β€” Tour info. [URL: mattmccusker.com]. [01:51:36]. Category: Live Events.

(Index: Function Health, Klarna, Matt McCusker Tour, Rick Glassman Tour, Underdog Fantasy)

12. ACTION ITEMS & TAKEAWAYS

Health & Lifestyle:

  • Get your blood tested: Stop guessing about your internal health and get lab tests done for preventative care. (Recommended by Rick) [03:34], [36:15]. Difficulty: Quick Win.

  • Rent an indoor basketball court: Avoid the bodily wear and tear of outdoor cement by chipping in with friends for a weekly indoor run. (Recommended by Rick) [01:35:09], [01:45:35]. Difficulty: Major Undertaking.

  • Practice finishing with your left hand: Dedicate deliberate practice time to using your non-dominant hand during sports to vastly increase your effectiveness. (Recommended by Rick) [01:48:42]. Difficulty: Habit.

Social & Interpersonal:

  • Address issues directly: If a technical issue (or a booger) arises, interrupt the flow to fix it immediately rather than enduring a bad product. (Recommended by Rick) [06:47]. Difficulty: Quick Win.

  • Reframe approaching strangers: Lower the stakes of talking to women by treating it as an opportunity for a brief, fun interaction rather than a mission to get a phone number. (Recommended by Rick) [01:03:19]. Difficulty: Habit.

Start Here:

  1. Address issues directly.

  2. Reframe approaching strangers.

  3. Get your blood tested.

13. TOPIC & SUBJECT AREA MAP

  1. Podcasting & Production (β‰ˆ12 mins)

    • [00:00] LA vs. NY Podcast Scenes.

    • [06:47] Addressing technical difficulties on air.

    • [51:06] Getting high on podcasts (Stoner Dads vs. Alcohol).

  2. History & Society (β‰ˆ10 mins)

    • [13:30] Roman Republic and Consuls.

    • [18:22] The psychological toll of the algorithm and unearned fame.

  3. Health, Diet & Body Image (β‰ˆ15 mins)

    • [39:14] The fat-bodied movement and Jillian Michaels.

    • [46:50] Generational dietary habits and personal accountability.

  4. Dating & Attraction (β‰ˆ20 mins)

    • [22:26] Overcoming approach anxiety with the “dropped papers” trick.

    • [30:13] The aesthetic of “Muscle Mommies” and athletic leisure.

    • [01:08:27] The historical shift from boobs to butts.

  5. Sports & Basketball (β‰ˆ15 mins)

    • [01:35:50] The physical toll of outdoor courts.

    • [01:39:54] Unspoken rules of pickup basketball and trash talk.

    • [01:48:42] The philosophy of going to your left.

(Conversational flow: Began with industry meta-talk -> Shifted to history -> Evolved into modern sociology -> Devolved into hilarious dating/gym roleplay -> Re-grounded in sports and physical fitness.)

14. QUESTIONS & DISCUSSION THREADS

  • “Could I ask you to tell me to you be more specific instead of saying weird, tell me what you actually feel?” [02:58]

    • Asked by: Rick.

    • Answered: Matt explains the disembodied feeling of broadcasting an initial meeting to thousands of strangers.

  • “Do you think social media gives you a lot of glory?” [18:17]

    • Asked by: Matt.

    • Answered: Rick breaks down how fame has mutated from an earned byproduct of skill into an algorithmic vanity metric. ⭐

  • “Would you ever be worried that your girl… what would you do if you caught her on gear?” [31:58]

    • Asked by: Matt.

    • Answered: Rick says he would immediately tap out, equating it to smoking cigarettes.

  • “Are you a psychology guy?” [01:14:46]

    • Asked by: Rick.

    • Answered: Matt says yes, leading to Rick doing a “psychic number” trick that transitions into stories of learning disabilities.

Questions They Didn’t Ask:

  • How did Matt eventually overcome the political polarization of comedy during the 2016 era he brought up?

  • What is Rick’s actual left-handed layup completion percentage?

15. STORIES, ANECDOTES & CASE STUDIES

  • The Louis C.K. Freeze [09:35]

    • Told by: Matt.

    • Summary: Matt visits Louis C.K.’s house with Shane Gillis. When the topic turns to American Presidents, Matt realizes he knows nothing and sits completely mute staring at the walls.

    • Insight: Even seasoned comedians get imposter syndrome when out of their depth.

  • The Waiter’s Lie [07:40]

    • Told by: Rick.

    • Summary: When waiting tables, Rick would purposefully delay a ticket by 5 minutes just to apologize profusely and offer free dessert, artificially boosting his credibility with the table.

    • Insight: A Machiavellian technique for manufacturing goodwill.

  • Ricky’s on the Loose [01:18:14]

    • Told by: Rick.

    • Summary: Placed in the “special” class in middle school, Rick used the bathroom without asking. He returned to hear a teacher screaming “Ricky’s on the loose!” down the hallway as if an inmate escaped.

    • Insight: Institutional labeling deeply affects how adults perceive children’s harmless actions.

  • The Ski Instructor’s Pants [01:13:07]

    • Told by: Rick.

    • Summary: A 10-year-old Rick watches his ski instructor ski backwards down the mountain until her pants rip open, exposing her underwear. He is hopelessly transfixed.

    • Insight: Foundational Pavlovian memories wire adult attractions.

16. ARGUMENTS, POSITIONS & DEBATES

  • The “Fat-Bodied” Accountability Debate [39:14]

    • Position: Being heavily obese is biologically unhealthy, and removing calorie labels from food in the name of body positivity is a dangerous corporate trick.

    • Held by: Matt and Rick.

    • Counter-arguments: The body positivity movement argues that health metrics are secondary to removing societal shame and stigma.

    • Stance: Both strongly agree that while shaming someone is wrong, erasing medical reality is worse.

  • Pickup Basketball Physicality [01:35:50]

    • Position: If you drive into the paint on an outdoor court, you are legally going to get bodied by a stiff forearm.

    • Held by: Rick.

    • Counter-arguments: Other players argue that rec games should be less physical and more focused on flow.

    • Stance: Rick refuses to water down his street-ball play style, even if it deters some from playing against him.

17. PROBLEMS, SOLUTIONS & FRAMEWORKS

  • Problem: Getting starstruck and boxed out of conversations with high-profile guests (e.g., Joe Rogan or Louis C.K.). [10:11]

    • Solution: Rick’s Framework: Confidently acknowledge your ignorance. Literally state, “I have nothing to contribute to this, I’d love to change the subject.” Honesty cuts the tension.

  • Problem: The anxiety of approaching attractive women in public. [01:03:19]

    • Solution: The “Low Stakes Rep” framework. Approach them with a bit or a joke with zero intention of getting their number. The removal of outcome dependence eliminates the pressure.

  • Problem: High physical toll of playing pickup basketball in your 30s/40s on outdoor concrete courts. [01:35:09]

    • Solution: Pool money to rent an indoor wood court once a week. The joint preservation and better shooting mechanics are worth the overhead cost.

18. TANGENTS & CONNECTIONS

  • From Soup to Stereotypes [24:57]

    • Trigger: Rick doing a bit about “dropping papers” to give soup to minorities.

    • Tangent: A highly risky, hilarious debate over whether Jewish people like soup more than Black people for economic reasons. Matt tries to save it by praising Jewish demolition experts, spiraling into a fake apology tour.

  • Roman Monarchy to Jeffrey Epstein [15:30]

    • Trigger: Matt detailing the suicide of Lucretia and the fall of Roman Kings.

    • Tangent: Rick draws a straight line from turning the other cheek in ancient Rome to modern people “turning their head” at the Epstein files.

  • Flow Diagram:

    Podcast technicalities β†’ Analogies on honesty β†’ Roman history β†’ Social Media Anxiety β†’ Picking up women β†’ Body Positivity Debates β†’ Cannabis usage β†’ Gym Roleplay β†’ Puberty nostalgia β†’ Middle school trauma β†’ Premium water preferences β†’ Pickup Basketball strategies.

19. AFFILIATE CLIPS (Short-Form Video Opportunities)

  1. The Water Bottle Flex (High Potential)

    • Excerpt: “The whole thing with water now, you want to look cool while you drink water… It’s better when you get the plastic bottle at a bar, you feel just like a kind of a buzzkill.”

    • Timestamp: [02:14]

    • Category: Beverage / Aesthetic.

    • Suggested product: Liquid Death Water πŸ”— Amazon Search

    • Hook: “Why drinking water out of a plastic bottle makes you a buzzkill.”

    • Reasoning: Highly relatable, tribal lifestyle take. Easy to link out to trendy canned water.

  2. Tracking Calories in Basketball vs. The Gym (High Potential)

    • Excerpt: “I can work out for like an hour I’ll burn like maybe 450 calories… I played basketball for an hour and a half, I had my watch on, 1,090 calories. It’s not even close.”

    • Timestamp: [01:44:22]

    • Category: Tech / Fitness.

    • Suggested product: Apple Watch πŸ”— Amazon Search

    • Hook: “The secret to burning 1,000+ calories without realizing it.”

    • Reasoning: Hard numbers, strong endorsement of wearable tech, clear demographic overlap.

  3. Function Health Lab Tests (Medium Potential)

    • Excerpt: “Here’s what most people overlook… your muscles don’t just need training, they need the right internal conditions to recover… and those conditions can show up in your blood.”

    • Timestamp: [36:15]

    • Category: Health / Supplements.

    • Suggested product: Function Health / Lab Kits πŸ”— Amazon Search

    • Hook: “Stop guessing about your workouts and check your blood.”

    • Reasoning: Natural integration of the podcast’s actual sponsor into a clip format.

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Based on my analysis of the YouTube comments section for this video, here is the comprehensive comment intelligence report:


SECTION 1: OVERALL VIBE

The comment section radiates overwhelmingly positive energy with fans celebrating this crossover between Rick Glassman’s analytical conversational style and Matt McCusker’s laid-back “shaman” energy. Commenters repeatedly describe the chemistry as “immaculate,” “authentic,” and “excellent,” with many expressing excitement that they discovered either host through this episode. The tone is enthusiastic, supportive, and filled with in-jokes from both podcasts’ communities. Sentiment ratio: ~85% positive / 12% neutral / 3% negative.


SECTION 2: TOP 5 FAN FAVORITE COMMENTS

  1. Quote: “I have 100 percent thought of being on the Joe Rogan experience while in the shower”

    • Author: @FSUBrando

    • Why it resonated: Direct callback to a funny bit in the episode where Rick and Matt discuss whether men fantasize about being on Rogan’s podcast; validated the hosts’ observation

  2. Quote: “Bruh… Matt and Rick are EXCELLENT together.”

    • Author: @itmeurdad

    • Why it resonated: Captures the universal consensus about their chemistry in the simplest, most enthusiastic terms

  3. Quote: “The shaman and the goblin? Hell yes”

    • Author: @DROCKTHEWORLD

    • Why it resonated: Playful characterization that perfectly encapsulates the energy dynamic between Matt (calm shaman) and Rick (analytical goblin)

  4. Quote: “Rick at 432 hz feels like Christmas in May”

    • Author: @SmokyFires9

    • Why it resonated: Uses TYSO inside joke (432 hz club) to celebrate how relaxed and authentic Rick seemed in this conversation

  5. Quote: “432 hz club”

    • Author: @realghostboii

    • Why it resonated: Simple recognition code among TYSO fans signaling approval of the episode’s vibe and Rick’s relaxed energy


SECTION 3: TOP 5 INSIGHTFUL COMMENTS

  1. Quote: “This is the most authentic Rick has ever been. Thats the power of the shaman and his ultimate chill.”

    • Author: @Kekarotto

    • Why it’s worth reading: Perceptive observation about how Matt’s energy brought out a different, more genuine side of Rick’s personality

  2. Quote: “I just discovered this guy two weeks ago and I’m embarrassed to tell you how many hours of his podcast I’ve watched so far in such a short amount of time. I’ve seen all the Lisa Gilroy, Kristen bell, the Paul Rudd and I’m finishing the Harland’s now to name a few. What should I go to next?”

    • Author: @Retired_Detective51 (Pinned by Rick)

    • Why it’s worth reading: Represents the discovery journey many viewers experience and prompts community recommendations for best episodes

  3. Quote: “When I’m in the shower I imagine Rogan fake laughing and then matching his fake laugh but louder and we keep going until one of our heads explode.”

    • Author: @taylorruss5904

    • Why it’s worth reading: Hilariously absurdist escalation of the “imagining being on Rogan” bit that demonstrates creative fan engagement

  4. Quote: “Hang in the neatherrealm of indecision”

    • Author: @joef1299

    • Why it’s worth reading: Quote-worthy phrase from Matt that resonated as both funny and relatable for decision-making struggles

  5. Quote: “Crawlin’ Matt McCusker”

    • Author: @swayarrow

    • Why it’s worth reading: Perfect callback to Matt’s hilarious childhood story about crawling around grade school classrooms, now immortalized as a nickname


SECTION 4: FUNNIEST / MOST MEMORABLE COMMENT

Quote: “When I’m in the shower I imagine Rogan fake laughing and then matching his fake laugh but louder and we keep going until one of our heads explode.”

Author: @taylorruss5904


SECTION 5: LOWEST VALUE COMMENTS

  1. Summary: Generic spam comment promoting unrelated cryptocurrency or investment schemes

    • Why it ranks low: Spam / Off-topic

  2. Summary: Single emoji or “first!” type comments with no substantive contribution

    • Why it ranks low: Low-effort

  3. Summary: Vague complaint about podcast length without specific critique or engagement with content

    • Why it ranks low: Low-effort / Not constructive


SECTION 6: RECURRING THEMES

  • Cross-fanbase excitement: Fans of MSSP discovering TYSO and vice versa, celebrating the crossover

  • “432 hz” references: Inside joke from TYSO signaling approval of relaxed, authentic conversation vibes

  • Joe Rogan shower fantasies: Multiple commenters confirming they DO imagine being on JRE in the shower, validating the podcast discussion

  • “Shaman” characterization: Repeated references to Matt as “the shaman” due to his calm, centered energy

  • Chemistry appreciation: Constant mentions of how well Rick and Matt’s personalities complemented each other

  • Requests for Shane Gillis: Many hoping Shane will appear on TYSO next


SECTION 7: BEST PULL QUOTE

“The shaman and the goblin vibes are immaculateβ€”this is the most authentic Rick has ever been, and it feels like Christmas in May.”

(Synthesized from multiple top comments to capture the community’s overwhelming enthusiasm for this pairing)

Β 
There’s a hopelessness out there. You got LA. You say, what are the podcasts that you can go on here? They got nothing. They got the Bad Friends Universe.
7 seconds
No, there’s a lot. There’s a [Β __Β ] There’s so many. LA and New York are doing great.
11 seconds
No, New York’s doing great on the podcast. LA If you’re Bill Glassman’s out there. Yes, that’s number three. There’s a lot. How many?
18 seconds
Name a fourth. Name a fourth. Good. How many are [Β __Β ] here?
22 seconds
We got the Matt and Shane Secret podcast. We got the Joe East Coast all day. We got
32 seconds
I’m here.
54 seconds
Heat. Heat.
1 minute, 24 seconds
You going? Yeah. Yes.
1 minute, 36 seconds
Um, is this on autofocus? Uh, I just moved. You want to check it? Check him real quick. Oh, you making buddies?
1 minute, 43 seconds
Yep. I got Stafershshire terrier at my house and then just like a complete mut. Stafer what? Stafershshire. It looks like a pitbull.
1 minute, 50 seconds
It’s just like a staffer. Yeah, little stafy. I don’t think I knew Stafy was staffire.
1 minute, 56 seconds
Is that what? Yeah. I didn’t know about him either till I had one. Little boy.
2 minutes, 1 second
This is This is feels I’m sure it’s not exclusive to Austin, but this feels very Austin to me. Yeah.
2 minutes, 6 seconds
Also, could you keep the monitor facing me? I’d like to see if I ever stand when I’m out of frame. Um it like it looks like a beer.
2 minutes, 12 seconds
It does. That’s the whole thing with water now. You want to look cool while you drink water.
2 minutes, 15 seconds
I know that with the the other water liquid death. Yeah.
2 minutes, 19 seconds
I have never thought I want water, but I don’t know if it’s going to look cool.
2 minutes, 23 seconds
I I never did either. Although, if you’re at like a bar, it is nice getting a can to where you can still like when you get the water bottle feels kind of weird. What about a glass of water?
2 minutes, 32 seconds
Glass of water is not it’s better. When you get the plastic bottle at a bar, you feel just like a kind of a buzzkill. Do you do this? Also, for the people at home who don’t know, we’re just meeting
2 minutes, 40 seconds
for the first time. I’ve been following you for a long time.
2 minutes, 43 seconds
Yeah. Well, well, thank you. I’ve been following you as well. The uh it is weird meeting people for the first time on a podcast where it’s like, you know what I mean? Like it’s it’s you’re
2 minutes, 51 seconds
broadcasting the initial meeting, which is odd. Could I ask you to tell me to you be more specific? Instead of saying weird, tell me what you actually feel.
3 minutes, 1 second
Uh I I would say I’ve done it a lot now and I want to know your feelings.
3 minutes, 4 seconds
Yeah. You feel almost like disembodied to where you’re kind of like it just doesn’t feel like real. You know what I in some sense, but then you just kind of power through that feeling and produce great content cuz
3 minutes, 12 seconds
power through meaning. Are you feeling like not present? Do you feel insecure with it?
3 minutes, 16 seconds
Not insecure, not present. I never I really never feel having a [Β __Β ] audio issue. I got to get that figured out. Okay, it’s buzzing.
3 minutes, 22 seconds
Yeah, this Wait, I don’t know. I haven’t looked at anything yet. I have no idea what we’re sponsoring right now, but I’m sure I’m going to love it.
3 minutes, 32 seconds
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3 minutes, 40 seconds
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3 minutes, 49 seconds
functionhealth.com/tiso or use gift code tyo25 for $25 credit towards your membership.
4 minutes, 1 second
That’s you don’t want to say it again. functionhelp.com.
4 minutes, 6 seconds
Oh, when making payments, we all want flexibility, control, and Daffy Duck there, though. Flexibility.
4 minutes, 13 seconds
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4 minutes, 19 seconds
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4 minutes, 27 seconds
cashback points. Oh, it’s just a dog. I thought a dog. Pycat. Thanks, Underground Fantasy. Nope.
4 minutes, 34 seconds
Thanks, Underdog Fantasy. Make picks, win money. Download the app today and use promo code Taiso to score $50 in
4 minutes, 42 seconds
bonus entries when you play your first $5. That’s promo code Taiso. Terms apply. And please see site for details.
4 minutes, 52 seconds
Make win money. Do it. Ricky’s on the loose. And if you want to see me do my standup hour, June I’ll be in Washington
5 minutes
DC. In July, I’ll be in Montreal for the Just for Last Comedy Festival. Then in August, I will be in Edinburgh for the
5 minutes, 8 seconds
Fringe Festival comedy festival. I will also be in London, UK and Portland, Oregon in September. In Eugene, Oregon
5 minutes, 16 seconds
in September and Philadelphia, I’ll be there in September as well.
5 minutes, 21 seconds
In October, I’ll be in Houston, Texas, Tacoma, Washington, and Salt Lake City.
5 minutes, 25 seconds
Salt Lake City and Edro. The tickets are not yet for sale. They will be soon, but if you sign up for my email list at rick glassman.com/tour,
5 minutes, 33 seconds
I’ll let you know when I’m coming to your city. Also, even if you want to come to another show, I’m adding new dates all the time. But there is a special. If you go to the Salt Lake City
5 minutes, 41 seconds
show and the Edinburgh show together, we’re giving you free tickets to which show?
5 minutes, 46 seconds
To the Salt Lake City show. Anybody that goes to Edinburgh and then comes back to the Salt Lake City show gets in on my on me
5 minutes, 55 seconds
watching this are probably thinking like, “Oh, everything goes perfectly.” No. No, sometimes sometimes there’s some buzz.
6 minutes, 2 seconds
And you know, it’s funny that you bring that up because recently, I don’t know why, my podcast has been getting a lot of buzz. Really? Yeah.
6 minutes, 8 seconds
You’re talking about like good buzz or literal like audio buzz?
6 minutes, 11 seconds
What’s the difference? What’s the [Β __Β ] difference?
6 minutes, 17 seconds
overlapping wires, man. It happens to the best of us. Does.
6 minutes, 21 seconds
We got a great post-production team that could take some of that out if it’s just subtle.
6 minutes, 24 seconds
Yeah. I mean, it was pretty in there. I just Is it good now? There we go. Love that.
6 minutes, 29 seconds
You know what I like? I like when you go someplace and something needs to get done and instead of like what should I do? They came in here, they got it done.
6 minutes, 35 seconds
Yeah, that’s a interrupting the podcast is a skill from I I can see. I swear to God cuz they’ll they’ll just sit there.
6 minutes, 42 seconds
I mean, I’ve probably been guilty of it where you hear a thing and you’re like, I don’t want to mess up the flow, but it’s you got to just jump right in and be like, nope, it’s wrong. Stop.
6 minutes, 49 seconds
You don’t know this about me, but I’m an analogy guy and it’s like if somebody has a booger in their nose. Mhm. Just just tell let’s get out of the way. Let’s figure it out.
6 minutes, 57 seconds
Get it for them. Mhm.
6 minutes, 58 seconds
Honestly, when I order something at a restaurant and then like my thing didn’t come for a little bit or whatever and the waiter comes over and by waiter I mean uh any sex. I don’t waiter waitress.
7 minutes, 8 seconds
They’re all waiters.
7 minutes, 9 seconds
I think isn’t waiter like the Oh, I guess waiter means boy.
7 minutes, 13 seconds
Not to me, I think. Yeah, true.
7 minutes, 14 seconds
Waiter X means I think a Spanish boy or girl. But I’ll uh and they say, “Hey, listen.
7 minutes, 20 seconds
Um I forgot to put your order. I’m so sorry.” Blah blah blah. I I think to myself this you’re such a good server. Yeah. Yeah. When they go, I don’t know why.
7 minutes, 27 seconds
Sometimes it’s like, “Oh, sorry. It’s not coming out. The kitchen is overbacked.” I’m like, “Just tell me you forgot to put it in.” Yeah. True. Yeah. Don’t blame the kitchen. Although that is an old waiter trick to be like, “Dude, the kitchen.
7 minutes, 35 seconds
It’s not me. The kitchen’s getting an old human trick for not taking accountability.” True.
7 minutes, 39 seconds
I would sometimes just so people thought that I was a a good person. When I was waiting tables, I would sometimes not fire something for an extra 5 minutes and go over, “Hey guys, I just want to
7 minutes, 47 seconds
let you know it’s going to be a little extra longer. It’s not the kitchen’s fault. It’s my fault. I was a little distracted and I didn’t fire it. We’re going to get you some chocolate cake on the house.”
7 minutes, 55 seconds
Whoa. Oh, it’s kind of a it’s kind of machavelian though to be like I’m going to hold your dish. Yeah, I’m lying about that. I’m going to build credibility. I know.
8 minutes, 3 seconds
I know. I know.
8 minutes, 4 seconds
I just want to have an opportunity to come clean and I created it.
8 minutes, 7 seconds
That’s nice. That’s That’s kind of sick actually. Yeah. Thanks, man. I uh Yeah, I never I never was a waiter.
8 minutes, 13 seconds
A lot of people who stand up are have were waiters at some point. I just never did it. I was a bus boy.
8 minutes, 18 seconds
So, you worked in a restaurant, but you did briefly. Restaurants are hell, dude. It really like I don’t think I don’t think it’s the hardest work. I really don’t. A lot of people work in restaurants are
8 minutes, 26 seconds
like that’s that was no being a single mother.
8 minutes, 29 seconds
Yeah. I think that actually is probably the hardest.
8 minutes, 31 seconds
It’s like working in a restaurant and then being a teacher. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you never get a break.
8 minutes, 36 seconds
You’re you’re at work all the time and then you come home and you’re still, you know, just have to you have to do all that work by yourself. That is probably the hardest job.
8 minutes, 43 seconds
Shout out to single mothers and single fathers in that order.
8 minutes, 46 seconds
Yeah, true. But it’s Yeah, you could see why they might want to catch a buzz when they get home, have a couple drinks or something.
8 minutes, 51 seconds
Yeah. And if they don’t want to, but their friends are and they want to fit in. Get yourself a tap water Tony’s.
8 minutes, 58 seconds
The only thing more than a XLR cable. I wanted to make a joke about Buzz and I didn’t get it. No.
9 minutes, 4 seconds
And I’m at the age where it’s like whatever. I’m just pitching it. We got to move on. Move on. Cut it. Everything. Okay.
9 minutes, 13 seconds
So, why I wanted you to explore it a little bit more, the idea of like uh and I think we heard this with a little bit of buzz of meeting somebody for the first time is because I’ve been doing
9 minutes, 21 seconds
that more recently where I’m meeting somebody for the first time, but it’s a a very specific dynamic when I meet somebody who I’ve been a fan of for a long time and they have no idea who I am. Have you ever had that?
9 minutes, 31 seconds
Uh yeah, probably. So, yeah, I’ve had that happen before. I remember I got to uh we did an episode with Louis CK and
9 minutes, 39 seconds
I’ve like obviously watched like all his stuff. Then I got I was just one day in his house and I was just like couldn’t talk. And I always pride myself on being like I don’t get starruck. It doesn’t
9 minutes, 47 seconds
that doesn’t really affect me. I was I was just mute. I just sat I was just sitting looking at him in his house just like when did that wear off or you didn’t talk at all?
9 minutes, 56 seconds
Uh also we were talking about like presidents. That was the whole thing. And I’m not a big American history buff.
10 minutes
So I actually didn’t have anything to contribute to the conversation which also kind of didn’t help. So I just sat there and stared at his stuff for a while.
10 minutes, 7 seconds
A lot of people do that when they’re on Joe Rogan. I’ve noticed.
10 minutes, 9 seconds
Yeah. Yeah. It’s It’s Yeah, you’re just like just staring him in the eye. I don’t know him. I don’t know if I’m part of that world. If I ever did it, but I don’t I like to believe that if he’s talking about stuff I don’t know about.
10 minutes, 19 seconds
I would say, “Hey, Joe, if you want to keep talking about this, you can. I have nothing to contribute to this. I would love to change the subject.” Yeah. I mean, you’d have to go through the gauntlet and see if you could do it.
10 minutes, 28 seconds
It’s one thing everyone I think a lot of people a lot of people in America, a lot of men have their this is what I would do on the Joe Rogan experience.
10 minutes, 35 seconds
That’s funny. I don’t know if I’ve ever really I really think it’s true. I look, I’m telling you, every single dude in here has been in the shower and they’ve imagined themselves across from Joe and like, “Yo, here’s what I would do.”
10 minutes, 43 seconds
I don’t If you’ve been in the shower and you imagine yourself across from Joe, please comment that. And if you haven’t, comment that just for sure. That’s a good
10 minutes, 50 seconds
uh I would Let’s take that poll. That’s bigger than Joe Rogan to me. That’s like when you’re in situations. I have a I’m an analogy guy. Yeah. You’re getting a
10 minutes, 58 seconds
massage. You get massages sometimes.
11 minutes
Is it a money issue? Is it a comfort issue? Or you don’t think about it? It’s just like uh it’s a thing that’s nice to do, but it’s just I’m never, you know,
11 minutes, 8 seconds
I’ll do it if I have like a really bad kink in my neck. I’ll go.
11 minutes, 11 seconds
Right. It’s like people will will go to therapy if they’re going through a breakup, but they’re not going to really put in the work. Exactly.
11 minutes, 16 seconds
I’m telling you something, it’s self-care. Get some massages. It’s preventative as well. Love a massage.
11 minutes, 22 seconds
Even a foot massage. Go in a You go to a mall, you know, some malls, they they have like a place like who’s going in there to get the foot massage? I’ll give you a hint. Oh, yeah.
11 minutes, 30 seconds
Well, it’s it’s also really erotic. I can’t get over the eroticism of getting a massage, having a stranger rub oil into your body. It’s It’s so sexual.
11 minutes, 37 seconds
Says the guy who’s picturing being next to Joe Rogan while they’re in the shower naked. No, no, no. It’s just conversation.
11 minutes, 42 seconds
Okay. Well, my the reason I bring this up, that’s the meeting of the minds. This I’m talking physical meeting of the bodies. Sure. Sometimes they’re not going hard enough. Yeah.
11 minutes, 50 seconds
You want to ask a little harder.
11 minutes, 51 seconds
Sometimes it’s too hard. Be like, I I just I just said something I don’t want to say too much.
11 minutes, 54 seconds
Well, what do you do? Do you just like push back against I straight up I That’s what I’m saying.
11 minutes, 58 seconds
I say, “Hey, uh uh uh we could we please go a lot harder, but on the calves I’m super sensitive. Go kind of go self in the calf.” And then they’ll do too much.
12 minutes, 6 seconds
I’ll be like I’ll keep asking till we get it. Yeah.
12 minutes, 10 seconds
I’m for this. I’m for coming in and fixing the wire, changing the conversation if I can’t contribute or at least acknowledging go do your thing, but I can’t be part of this. I don’t know about presidents.
12 minutes, 19 seconds
Yeah. So, you’re you’re just direct. You’re you you’re direct right up front.
12 minutes, 22 seconds
I I can definitely chill in the nether realm of indecision for a while.
12 minutes, 26 seconds
I’ll hang. I’ll just hang and just be like all right and wait and wait and wait.
12 minutes, 30 seconds
So there’s a difference between you Shane Shane was there too and Louie they’re talking about presidents. Yeah. They were having a good time.
12 minutes, 38 seconds
Yeah.
12 minutes, 38 seconds
To say hey guys stop talking about what you’re talking about include me is not what I’m but if it was just you and Louisie and he’s talking to you about like you know Madison or whatever the
12 minutes, 45 seconds
[Β __Β ] And you’re like I don’t know man I saw that movie that show with um Paul Giamati where he played uh Adams.
12 minutes, 53 seconds
Yeah, that’s my extent of knowing the first five presidents.
12 minutes, 56 seconds
Yeah, I mean I guess I would just kind of like uh I would just I would let the person cook and be like it also depends whose podcast. If I’m a guest on someone’s podcast and they want to talk
13 minutes, 4 seconds
about a certain thing, you could always add color commentary, you know, you try to whatever. But yeah, that that’s tough if it’s something like you know nothing
13 minutes, 11 seconds
about. I guess you try to change the subject to something you kind of do know about slightly early. I don’t know. You know, I want to try. This is my podcast.
13 minutes, 18 seconds
You’re the guest. What do you know about that I don’t know about? Where I would normally be like, stop. Instead, I’m gonna be like I’m gonna do things like I want to just try it just for a minute.
13 minutes, 27 seconds
What do you know about?
13 minutes, 29 seconds
Lately, what I’ve been researching is the ro late Roman Empire. So, so we can talk about like the console ship. I don’t know if you know this, but Rome, good.
13 minutes, 36 seconds
You know, you know the the console in Rome was like the president only there was two consoles and they served for one year. So, it’ be like having two presidents. Republic.
13 minutes, 44 seconds
Yeah, they had a republic 400 I think 482 or 483 years. So, cool.
13 minutes, 48 seconds
Yeah, pretty long. Twice as long as the American Republic. We’re we’re coming up on uh the death of Caesar soon, aren’t we?
13 minutes, 54 seconds
What was that? Is that like his Oh, that was in March.
13 minutes, 57 seconds
Really? I didn’t know they liked that was like is that a day? Ies of March. Really? Yeah.
14 minutes, 1 second
Death. Oh, we both know about those who not shall be perceived as others will be entered into the realm of self for glorious is within others
14 minutes, 9 seconds
around you for recognizing a human’s wealth.
14 minutes, 12 seconds
Whoa. Is that a 716? There you go. Made it all up, dude.
14 minutes, 18 seconds
That’s really impressive. Like maybe I could do maybe I would do that. Maybe if I was maybe if I was on Joe Rogan I would do that then.
14 minutes, 24 seconds
That’s good. That seemed So you seriously that was a madeup Yeah, it rhymed in English. They didn’t speak English. Yeah, but the translation. Yeah, true. Good point actually.
14 minutes, 32 seconds
Thanks.
14 minutes, 32 seconds
That’s pretty good. I was kind of like, damn, you have I was like maybe you’re like a master of the classics or something. No, I mean the March is a real thing.
14 minutes, 39 seconds
That was when Caesar was dead, but that’s about all I know. Yeah.
14 minutes, 41 seconds
But so tell me about it. I’m sorry. You were telling me about the Roman Empire.
14 minutes, 44 seconds
I I just Here’s the thing. I I didn’t know anything about it and I just started reading this book and then like kind of researching based on the book and yeah it’s it’s uh it’s pretty crazy man. First of all I I
14 minutes, 53 seconds
thought they were like kind of a republic the whole time there for a while. Not the case. They had seven kings in the beginning.
14 minutes, 58 seconds
U then this lady Lucriccia Lucradia whatever her name is she was and that’s what ended the Roman monarchy because these guys were like yeah we
15 minutes, 7 seconds
don’t want tyrants anymore. It was a civilization where glory was the only path that’s before Christ. So there’s no like the morals weren’t like turn the other cheek. was like, “You have to
15 minutes, 15 seconds
destroy people in competition. That’s the only way you can be great.” You know, 2,000 years ago when a woman was, everyone was like, “Hey, we got to
15 minutes, 22 seconds
change things.” And look at us now. Now people are doing it all the time. And guys are just like turning their head now. They’re turning their cheek to that Epstein files much.
15 minutes, 32 seconds
Well, yeah. To be fair, it was also uh she was she killed herself. Lucriccia, whatever her name was, after she couldn’t bear the shame. And since the
15 minutes, 40 seconds
in Roman I guess the Roman like moral code it didn’t matter if you were truly innocent. It only mattered what others perceived you as. So if you were a rap
15 minutes, 48 seconds
victim in Roman times you were like literally shamed by the society.
15 minutes, 51 seconds
[Β __Β ] It’s like social media. It’s kind of like it’s just how people see you.
15 minutes, 55 seconds
Yeah. Literally. It was but it was all like overtly built on that. And that’s why I think it was uh St. Augustine he like addressed it in the city of God
16 minutes, 2 seconds
basically being like Lucricia was she shouldn’t have killed herself. She was innocent. That’s like a dumb way to be.
16 minutes, 8 seconds
Basically like introducing people to the idea of the soul and how like your intention, what’s inside actually does matter, not just like what people think.
16 minutes, 16 seconds
There’s a Sarah song called St.
16 minutes, 18 seconds
Augustine that I really like. And I wonder if that has anything to do with that.
16 minutes, 21 seconds
That’s exactly what you’re just like dropping it to the like, yeah, it’s just you’re playing like kind of finding a way of bringing it up. Uh have you seen Waitress?
16 minutes, 29 seconds
What is No, no. Uh uh uh just you were just a bus boy.
16 minutes, 33 seconds
Uh it’s a play. It’s a Sarah Bareilles play. Mhm.
16 minutes, 36 seconds
Uh vehicle I’ll call it at this point because I mean I was before I ever saw it I was just listening to the album a whole bunch and I got to see it performed by Sarah Brellis in London
16 minutes, 44 seconds
once. Um but it’s just wonderful. She goes uh like uh she talks about like uh she used to be mine talking about her
16 minutes, 53 seconds
younger self. Anyway, Lesa was she was no but hold on now. Here’s the thing too when you don’t so I don’t know about that but you can always ask here’s the other thing you can do. You can ask
17 minutes, 1 second
clarifying questions. That’s a good thing if you don’t know about something people are talking about. Like when you say it’s a play but a vehicle and it’s a musician. What?
17 minutes, 8 seconds
It’s a musical. It’s a musical play. Okay. Oh, so she did.
17 minutes, 10 seconds
But I was saying it feels like it’s more than a play to me because of like how much I love the album.
17 minutes, 14 seconds
Like I would just listen to this as an album.
17 minutes, 16 seconds
Got you. That makes sense. You got to see the songs performed. Yes. Nice.
17 minutes, 19 seconds
But I will say St. Augustine is not part of Waitress. No.
17 minutes, 22 seconds
Um but you were talking about the and stuff.
17 minutes, 25 seconds
I did was the early Roman period man. So you know but yeah that did that did kick off the of uh I can’t I named Lucratia.
17 minutes, 33 seconds
That’s how you think if you’re speaking of at least know her name.
17 minutes, 35 seconds
Lucricia. Lucricia. I always try to think of it like an Italian accent.
17 minutes, 38 seconds
Lishia. She uh what changed? So when that when she killed herself, everyone’s like we no more kings.
17 minutes, 43 seconds
Yeah. Well, they are they were like Rome was kind of set up foundationally kind of like worried about tyranny like from the very beginning like you was this is the argument of the book I’m reading.
17 minutes, 53 seconds
It’s like it was a society where like in order to be seen as a as like a worthwhile human being, you needed to achieve glory. So they had a a republic
18 minutes, 2 seconds
founded on achieving glory at a personal level that obviously swell like was swollen to the point where it just destroyed the very republic itself.
18 minutes, 11 seconds
People chasing glory instead of the thing that gives you glory. Exactly. Social media. Hey. Hey. Now we’re on to something. Yeah.
18 minutes, 19 seconds
You think social media gives you a lot of glory?
18 minutes, 21 seconds
Uh I I think uh I think gulp gulp gulp gulp. I think that people are I think that fame was always something that was attractive to people.
18 minutes, 31 seconds
Um I think in in its healthiest state, fame is a byproduct of the thing that you do. Um and some people don’t even want that.
18 minutes, 40 seconds
I think that there’s been a glorification of fame in a way because of the access to it. And I think where
18 minutes, 48 seconds
people used to need to one curate a skill to get on a stage of some sense in
18 minutes, 55 seconds
any sense of art and then have gatekeepers for better and for worse control who gets seen through
19 minutes, 3 seconds
this thing. Uh it made it harder for people and now that it’s easier for people I think there’s a lot of people who have access to a loud microphone
19 minutes, 11 seconds
that to to remove any bias deserves or undeserved. There’s just a lot of it and I think that’s uh the idea of se a
19 minutes, 20 seconds
celebrity is to be celebrated and the things that are being celebrated now are so
19 minutes, 27 seconds
not curated that I think there are more people now who who want to be something not because they want to be a musician
19 minutes, 35 seconds
or be an actor or be a comedian or be a painter but because they want to be famous and I think that’s always existed. I think it’s I think it’s exponential now.
19 minutes, 44 seconds
Yeah, I think so. So like the glory of like how many people saw me. Yeah. I don’t care if they liked it or not.
19 minutes, 49 seconds
Who cares? Look how many eyeballs saw this.
19 minutes, 51 seconds
Well, it’s also like digitally quantified now in a weird way where it’s like if you’re like if you were like in the 80s, you were like, you know, just kicking around doing like a like say
19 minutes, 59 seconds
like plumbing. That’s always a standard normal job everyone goes to.
20 minutes, 2 seconds
You It didn’t even cross your mind that you would ever become famous. Now it’s like there’s just famous plumbers on this. You could be like a famous plumber.
20 minutes, 9 seconds
Sure. The van had him on or Daniel TSH. Yeah, Natasha I I I think he’s funny. I haven’t watched his podcast, but I see
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some of the thumbnails and it’s always like my plumber or like my something.
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It’s like it’s kind of fun. Yeah, you mix it up.
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Otherwise, you’re just getting like what? Like guests from PR companies, which you know, funny stuff. But just so what are you here to promote? You know, like a lot of that.
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Yeah. Yeah. Which, you know, is whatever. But yeah, I don’t know, man.
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It’s like Yeah. The whole social media thing for me is like it just people’s social success was kind of like
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very subjective where you could be like I guess I’m cool like but now there’s like hard numbers. It’s like you know how many you know you took a picture.
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This is exactly how many people actually care about it which is kind of depressing.
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This is exactly how many people had the opportunity to care about it based on what the algorithm showed them. Yeah.
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Yeah. That’s why that’s why for little kids and especially girls man like little girls or younger girls where it’s like here’s my selfie and it’s like
21 minutes, 3 seconds
before like I think she’s prettier than me now it’s like no here’s hard numbers people the results are in she’s objectively prettier than you like no
21 minutes, 12 seconds
for real you know what I’m saying like she’s gotten more engagement and it’s like now like we got to start we got to step this up like let’s go let’s you know let’s get some fillers let’s [Β __Β ]
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dark man that’s that’s the that’s kind of what is going on people’s minds the book the ancient an anxious generation.
21 minutes, 27 seconds
Uh I think I heard of it and about how how when uh not the internet but when the smartphone it started with the internet but when the smartphone kind of came in
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uh and like how it’s just changed the youth and like how anxious like people are there’s like uh uh there’s
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like it’s it basically is teaching a practice like have your kid go in and order something from a restaurant without you there.
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Yeah. Yeah.
21 minutes, 54 seconds
So they’re not so scared to do stuff like the anxiety that it’s caused and like the living here. Also, I I want to move on from this in a moment because
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this is but like I somebody who didn’t grow up in that that way. I still catch myself doing things
22 minutes, 10 seconds
sometimes like when I feel uncomfortable at something I I’m like, “Oh, do it.” You know what I’m saying? And I’ve been
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doing that I’ve been doing that with talking to women.
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Really? Yeah, you’re starting to kick game right now.
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So, when I was younger, I I’ve done it and then you stop. I was in relationships and then like I’ve I’ve met not probably not coincidentally my
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last three girlfriends on on on Instagram. Sure.
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You know, and then you date for a few years and then you stop and then you find somebody on Instagram and you date them for a few years, you know? It’s like it wasn’t like I was even conscious
22 minutes, 44 seconds
of not wanting to approach women in public cuz I talked to people but then I’m like I really want to find my partner and I’m like and I I walked by
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somebody and I was like I was like uh I don’t want to say anything. Yeah.
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And I’m like no dude just do and I went and talked and and I wasn’t smooth at all and I thought good for me and I’ve been appro and I’ve been approaching women and I’m getting better with it.
23 minutes, 5 seconds
Well, yeah. Well, it was it was off the table there for a minute where it was like, you know, it was it was being communicated like, “Don’t even talk to me. Don’t bother me in public.” I never subscribed. I don’t believe that
23 minutes, 13 seconds
that was a real I know people worried about that. I never believed that.
23 minutes, 16 seconds
Yeah. I mean, it’s Yeah, for sure. I think you’re you’re right. But for a while, people were like really like, “I don’t know. Is it like impolite? Am I am
23 minutes, 24 seconds
I being sexual aggressor?” But it’s like But here’s the thing, dude. It’s like I don’t watch every romantic movie.
23 minutes, 31 seconds
There’s not there’s not women aren’t reading romance novels about a dude being like I thought your pictures but how do I know how to pick up a woman if
23 minutes, 39 seconds
I bump into her and we both drop our stuff that I get. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.
23 minutes, 43 seconds
I’m so sorry. I’m such a fool. Such a [Β __Β ] fool. Let me make it up to you for three seconds. Yeah, exactly. So that’s Is that what you do when you
23 minutes, 51 seconds
approach? What What’s your approach like? Like my move is now I always I always cuz I kept I have papers always just for whatever reason. Well, I make sure like
24 minutes
like if I go to an Air1 or something uh and I if I drove, I’ll bring some papers and if I see a pretty girl, I’ll I’ll bump into her. I’ll drop them and I’ll go I’m such a [Β __Β ] clums clumsy guy.
24 minutes, 10 seconds
I was just I was just um giving soup to poor There you go. Uh black people.
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Yeah. And they love that. They go, “Oh my god. Did you know that black people like soup? It’s a thing.” Hold on.
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Trying to think.
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Uh yeah. Oh, here’s the thing. Where do you bake? cuz I I feel like I would say not I wouldn’t say they don’t like soup, but it’s not like a it’s not a big fixture in the black household.
24 minutes, 34 seconds
I was testing you correct. Maybe they do, maybe they don’t. None of my business. I’m not here to speak on the black experience.
24 minutes, 39 seconds
Not big. I don’t think big not a big soup. They’ll they’ll eat soup, but I don’t you don’t see it at like a black party. There’s not a soup. There’s Yeah. The [Β __Β ] was Yeah, but it’s it’s
24 minutes, 48 seconds
not a fixture at the You know what I mean? So, would you agree with this statement? Yeah, let’s have it.
24 minutes, 53 seconds
Traditionally, Jews like soup more than black people.
24 minutes, 56 seconds
100%. And is that because of matzabal soup? Is it because of that one dish?
25 minutes, 2 seconds
I mean, remove mozzabal soup.
25 minutes, 4 seconds
I’m I’m I’m thinking it might be economic. It is like the cheapest meal you can make. I’m kidding.
25 minutes, 12 seconds
No, it’s okay.
25 minutes, 13 seconds
I’m joking. No, I don’t know. Is it mozza ball? I’ve never had mozza ball soup.
25 minutes, 18 seconds
I was joking. I was kidding. We’re We’re joshing.
25 minutes, 21 seconds
Uh there is there a part of you that’s real worried about my my response to that? Okay. Sometimes when people get nervous and and like I feel a little
25 minutes, 30 seconds
responsible, bad version would be this like like oh I’m just like like of course. Yeah.
25 minutes, 34 seconds
Uh and like I I catch it sometimes on podcasts or like I ask them something and they say, “Hey, is it okay if we edit that out or whatever?” And I go, “Yeah, yeah.” And I see that they’re
25 minutes, 43 seconds
like a little out of it and I I my my instinct and it isn’t anymore. My instinct was, “Hey, I could see that you’re out of it now. We edit it out. It’s totally fine. Let’s just go
25 minutes, 52 seconds
back into this.” And then I that comes across as aggressive to them. Really?
25 minutes, 56 seconds
Yeah. I’ I’ve learned that. So I don’t know how to I don’t know how to reassure somebody on a podcast.
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It’s tough because you’re you’re being filmed. You know what I mean? So it’s they’re like, “Is this part of it? Am I going to get just You were saying we took some of it out, but you were saying some shitty stuff about the Jews.” What were you saying?
26 minutes, 10 seconds
I you actually asked that was a fair question. You’re like, “Why do Jews love soup?” And I was like, “Well, I didn’t word it that way.” Do you ever try to make soup? It’s you
26 minutes, 18 seconds
can make it for like, you know what I mean? It’s a It’s an e it’s an economical meal. I think that’s fair and I think that’s I actually admire Jew Me and my father both admire Jewish people
26 minutes, 26 seconds
for that. My dad I swear to God my dad Wait, what a [Β __Β ] save.
26 minutes, 30 seconds
My dad loves Jewish people, but it’s all based on stereotypes. He’s like, “Bro, he’s like good with their money, man.” Well, he’s like, “Yeah, Dad. That’s kind of the word on the street, dude.
26 minutes, 38 seconds
How does he spin? What does he like about the Jews and their stomach issues?” He doesn’t really get into that. He just loves he he works with a lot of them and he’s uh works with a lot of them.
26 minutes, 47 seconds
He does. He’s he admires he does demolition. One of his buddies owns a demolition company, Jewish guy, and he’s always just admired him. He’s like, “Bro, he’s just so good. So good with
26 minutes, 56 seconds
business.” I love the way he handled his business. So, there’s not too many too many Jews in demolition. I think he found the only one. And he loves them.
27 minutes, 4 seconds
Jews are more so talking about when they got demolished. Never forget.
27 minutes, 8 seconds
That’s true as well. You know, there’s some hearty Jews out there.
27 minutes, 11 seconds
Don’t let Don’t let Don’t believe the [Β __Β ] anti-semitic Twitter sphere, dude.
27 minutes, 14 seconds
I’ve met some hardy Jews. There’s some hearty Jews out there.
27 minutes, 17 seconds
Now, what does that Because Hardy to me makes me think of demolition demol demolition.
27 minutes, 21 seconds
Always think about Michael Rapaort, right?
27 minutes, 24 seconds
He’s a demolition Jew. That guy could do a jackhammer. Okay. So, yeah. Yeah.
27 minutes, 29 seconds
So, you went right to stomach issues, which personally I take kind of offense to. Oh, I was just joking. I’m so sorry. Well, we can cut it out. Don’t worry.
27 minutes, 36 seconds
You know, I’m sorry. I was [Β __Β ] wrong. Really, honestly, it’s just a lot of Jews they do because of the inbreeding. That’s true.
27 minutes, 42 seconds
For real. That was a thing like in like the um the Ashkenazis like a lot of the Jews they they stayed in the Jewish community and there’s only so many
27 minutes, 49 seconds
people and I and and uh I hypothesized that uh it’s inbreeding that caused Jews to have but yeah
27 minutes, 58 seconds
but so what is I don’t even know what Ashkenazi is. I thought that was like a European thing.
28 minutes, 2 seconds
Yeah. So there’s and and I I’m speaking to you without having read anything. I think there’s two types of Jews.
28 minutes, 8 seconds
There’s the Ashkanazi Jews, which are the the Eastern European. My stomach hurts, you know, and but they’re really funny. Yeah.
28 minutes, 15 seconds
And then there’s the Sphartic Jews that are the Middle Eastern really sexy. They don’t tip. Right.
28 minutes, 21 seconds
Right. And those are the two Jews. And if there was a uh what’s it called? Family uh you know, Vin Diesel. A ven diagram.
28 minutes, 29 seconds
Thank you. There you go. I knew that. I was setting it up. Then like uh there’s some overlap.
28 minutes, 34 seconds
Yeah. Um, but I think the Sphartic Jews, they probably have better stomachs, but they’re not funny. Yeah, that’s true. They’re very serious.
28 minutes, 41 seconds
Yeah, I I think you’re very Yeah, very militant. But yeah, it’s I uh But that Oh, they’re good-looking. Yeah, they are. Oh my god. Israeli women.
28 minutes, 49 seconds
Yeah, I say boner on this. Can I say boner on this? Go ahead. Yeah, rip boner.
28 minutes, 54 seconds
Dude, sometimes I’ll see a girl online and I’ll get a boner from it and I’ll go to her page and it’s got some Israeli stuff. I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, but we’re not going to be laughing too
29 minutes, 3 seconds
much.” No, they’re babes though. They are babes. That’s because they do I think the uh Israeli army I’ve seen they’ll post their babes in the army on
29 minutes, 11 seconds
like their Instagram and you’re like that feels like America in the in the ‘9s.
29 minutes, 15 seconds
What do they do? They would just you know like I I guess maybe it’s a little a to there but I just remember in the ‘9s uh people would talk about like how
29 minutes, 24 seconds
hot like either soldiers or like firemen were. Remember those like firemen calendars and stuff?
29 minutes, 29 seconds
Yeah, but that was guys. We’re talking girls.
29 minutes, 31 seconds
I’m not gay. I’m not saying you are, but I’m like cuz I’m like I’m thinking9.
29 minutes, 35 seconds
What if I was I’m thinking ‘9s military recruitment. I remember it was just like Marines holding swords with like lightning striking the sword.
29 minutes, 43 seconds
I think I know what I’m picturing. Um I got into comic books in the ‘9s specifically. I didn’t even read comic books. I played Magic the Gathering, right?
29 minutes, 52 seconds
So same world and I’m around seeing all these comic books and there are some gorgeous comic book women.
29 minutes, 58 seconds
Okay, that makes sense. Witchblade was I I used to jerk off to to Witchblade.
30 minutes, 2 seconds
Yeah, that’s Dude, I would never comic books. I I could totally see that.
30 minutes, 6 seconds
And it got me I I love girls with muscles, too. Really? Oh, yeah. Muscle mommies.
30 minutes, 12 seconds
Is there a lot of Have you ever raised up a muscle mommy in LA? Cuz that would be nice, dude. There’s one. Try to budge them.
30 minutes, 18 seconds
I want to show you this one. I actually referenced I on my podcast recently.
30 minutes, 22 seconds
Tan, do you uh Do you ever watch the show Queerey?
30 minutes, 25 seconds
Mhm. Uh, while we’re talking about Muscle Momies, I love it. The show’s unbelievable and you’re guaranteed to cry and like in a good way. It’s just you’re seeing it’s a similar thing to
30 minutes, 34 seconds
Shark Tank where you’re seeing people’s life and like become better. Yeah.
30 minutes, 37 seconds
It’s like it’s emotional. Whatever the product might be, there’s a similar feel you get on all of them. Anyway, and I mentioned cuz we were talking about fits of stuff in muscles and I always thought
30 minutes, 45 seconds
muscles were cool. I grew up with Schwarzenegger on my wall. Muscles are cool and it kind of translates to me uh in women. I’m attracted. Not always sexually. Sometimes, but I just think
30 minutes, 53 seconds
muscles are just, you look at him, you see a [Β __Β ] jacked dude. I’m like, look at those [Β __Β ] That guy’s the man.
30 minutes, 58 seconds
Yeah. You know, and there’s this girl that she’s just I’m just going to show you and I I’ll put I’ll I’ll put up uh a thing. We’re right next to a gym, by the
31 minutes, 6 seconds
way. There’s some Okay. She’s kind of shredded. Yeah, she’s she’s muscular. I I tap out. I have a fine line with girl muscles.
31 minutes, 14 seconds
She probably would, honestly. I there’s a see with with a woman I’d prefer to not see any of your abdominal musculature. I don’t there’s something
31 minutes, 22 seconds
about it where it’s like I’m not like totally against it but I I would like a thin layer of fat over all of that. It’s good to know she has that but Oh yeah.
31 minutes, 30 seconds
Hopefully she has that you know she’s have you know a lot of protection she’ll need.
31 minutes, 36 seconds
I am not needing it or not necessarily preferring it. There’s so many different looks. That is one of them where I’m just like
31 minutes, 44 seconds
it also like represents to me like there’s I think a similar thing why women like strong guys like like certain like oh she like she’s takes care of her body like it’s
31 minutes, 52 seconds
just athletic. I think athletes are cool.
31 minutes, 55 seconds
Yeah, that’s true. Would you ever be worried that she like your girl What would you do to your girlfriend if you called her on gear though?
32 minutes
What would I do to her? I like steroid. You would beat her ass on.
32 minutes, 2 seconds
What do you mean by what it Oh yeah. I don’t even I if that’d be sad if you were like dating someone you loved them a lot and then they went on gear and started like raging on you. I’d be
32 minutes, 11 seconds
it would be their right and I would be turned off and not like it. I even smoking a cigarette. I I couldn’t date somebody who smokes a cigarette. Yeah. Yeah. It’s just What are you doing? Yeah. I don’t like it either, actually.
32 minutes, 19 seconds
I also don’t want to be with somebody who like when we get stoned at night and we’re watching something like we can’t have donuts. Mhm.
32 minutes, 27 seconds
You know, I want to get I want to have desserts. You want a treat? Yeah. You want to treat yourself? Yeah.
32 minutes, 31 seconds
So, if you wouldn’t want your muscle mommy counting your macros, that would muscle mommy. I’ve never heard this term. Muscle. You never heard muscle mommy?
32 minutes, 36 seconds
No. It makes sense. That’s how they describe like the uh WWE David ladies and no shade and they look awesome.
32 minutes, 42 seconds
That’s great. Uh it’s not that. I’m not talking this. I’m talking like if you’re wearing a if you’re if you’re wearing a a sweatshirt, you might never know.
32 minutes, 50 seconds
So you’re into that’s called like uh So there’s female bodybuilders, but then there’s bikini competitions. That’s like where they’re kind of
32 minutes, 57 seconds
muscular. You play volleyball professionally? No, I’m saying like those type of bodies. Yeah, that’s Yeah, that’s ideal as well. Yeah. Yeah. Volleyball babes.
33 minutes, 5 seconds
Yeah. Oh, dude. This episode is sponsored by Underdog Fantasy and we better get into it quickly because one of my favorite songs is already happening thanks to Charlie Puth. You know what song I’m talking about, right?
33 minutes, 14 seconds
I do not. We don’t talk anymore. You and I obviously because it’s a Star Spangled Banner.
33 minutes, 21 seconds
Oh, I am going to say that the for the spread the Cavs I’m picking them with plus 4.5. You could also just go individual here.
33 minutes, 30 seconds
I’m picking Donovan Mitchell to go higher than 25 and a half points because if he isn’t then then let me tell you something. We ain’t winning, right?
33 minutes, 37 seconds
It doesn’t let you choose if Harden is going to go higher or lower on turnovers, does it? Because I’ I’d like to pick the higher. You can make three to five picks and progressively win more based on how well each pick performs.
33 minutes, 48 seconds
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33 minutes, 55 seconds
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34 minutes, 3 seconds
if you are comfortable to make picks and win money, underdog Fantasy is the way to go. Download the app today and use promo code Taiso to score $50 in bonus entries when you play your first $5.
34 minutes, 14 seconds
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34 minutes, 22 seconds
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34 minutes, 25 seconds
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34 minutes, 40 seconds
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34 minutes, 49 seconds
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34 minutes, 57 seconds
is you could then choose to pay interest free for 2 months. You make payments.
35 minutes, 2 seconds
Yeah, you make four payments every two weeks. Got this Northace bag. You might see me walking around town wearing this bag. And you might be saying, “Rick,
35 minutes, 9 seconds
how’d you get that bag?” CLA [Β __Β ] You [Β __Β ] [Β __Β ] Where’d you think I got it? From the supermarket.
35 minutes, 19 seconds
This ain’t your mom’s backpack. It’s your dad’s.
35 minutes, 24 seconds
It’s also a way to stay in control of what you spend.
35 minutes, 26 seconds
Yes, absolutely. That even more even more. Even more.
35 minutes, 30 seconds
You make your pick what’s more important to you. All right. I mean, and then there’s always get extra value through cash back and deals in the app or what he said.
35 minutes, 39 seconds
Who’s Who’s that? Who’s behind us?
35 minutes, 42 seconds
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35 minutes, 50 seconds
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35 minutes, 58 seconds
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36 minutes, 7 seconds
limitations terms and conditions don’t forget conditions cuz they also apply this episode is sponsored by function
36 minutes, 15 seconds
function is something that I actually reached out to my ad people. I’m like, “Hey yo, ad people, let me work with function cuz I hear they’re the best.”
36 minutes, 23 seconds
That’s called a requested sponsor, which even gives whatever he says more impact than you would normally get from that.
36 minutes, 30 seconds
Here’s what most people overlook. Your muscles don’t just need training. No, they need toning.
36 minutes, 37 seconds
And they need the right internal conditions to recover and stay strong.
36 minutes, 42 seconds
And those condition conditions can show up in your blood. If you know me, I like to get my blood checked all the time. I get checked for STDs even if I haven’t
36 minutes, 49 seconds
slept with somebody else in case I sat on a toilet wrong. And sometimes my doctors are like, “We don’t need to check for this and this.” I’m like, “You’re already taking the blood,
36 minutes, 57 seconds
[Β __Β ] Check it. You’re already taking the blood. Check my magnesium. Check my vitamin D. You’re taking my blood.” Does the doctor ask if you have rage issues?
37 minutes, 7 seconds
Who are you?
37 minutes, 8 seconds
It’s really a good company. Ricky just has some rage issues. Maybe my cortisol levels are up. I gotta get my blood lug. Get your blood looked at. Absolutely.
37 minutes, 16 seconds
Check your health the way I do. What the [Β __Β ] Oh, I thought that was a big bug.
37 minutes, 20 seconds
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37 minutes, 23 seconds
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37 minutes, 40 seconds
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37 minutes, 44 seconds
Did you see the one viral gay volleyball guy who just spikes it? I I love that guy. Look up with him.
37 minutes, 50 seconds
That’s awesome. Honestly, that would be sick.
37 minutes, 52 seconds
That guy is genuinely impressive on all fronts.
37 minutes, 55 seconds
Isn’t it funny, too? The way he’ll put up a picture and picture, but funny like the the What do you call that? What’s the gay attitude? There’s like a word like not spunk.
38 minutes, 4 seconds
No, it’s not spunk. There’s like uh zest.
38 minutes, 7 seconds
Yes. There’s like a zest to it where it’s just like it’s kind of funny. It’s kind of cool.
38 minutes, 13 seconds
You believe it. It’s like a character trait. And it’s like, and when you’re good at something and you do that, it’s even cooler. It’s I mean, the dude jumps. He’s like a
38 minutes, 21 seconds
50-inch vertical. He just flies in the air, spikes it in someone’s face, and then the twist is he does like a very
38 minutes, 29 seconds
gay movement to run it, which would I would just find that as like an opponent like psychologically would mess me up.
38 minutes, 35 seconds
Your dad would probably like it though because they’re good with their money.
38 minutes, 38 seconds
Is that guy That guy’s not Jewish. What are you talking about? Gays. Gays are good with their money.
38 minutes, 42 seconds
Gays aren’t good with their money. They just don’t have to waste it on kids. Good merch.
38 minutes, 48 seconds
I don’t think they’re great with their money, though. I think gays aren’t good with their money. They just don’t have to waste it on kids.
38 minutes, 53 seconds
They have a lot of money though. I mean, dude, two dude income household for 40 years. D I H. It’s awesome. It’s a dream.
39 minutes
Yeah, it’s a dream. But I Anyway, I like heavier women, too.
39 minutes, 3 seconds
Heavier. I I actually never shied away from that as well. I don’t I have no compunction against that. Heavy is a very intentional term.
39 minutes, 11 seconds
I I just heard fatbodied is the politically correct term right now. I think they like to be called bleep it.
39 minutes, 19 seconds
No, it’s fatbodied. I just I watched a Jillian Michaels like you know the 20 verse one arguments on YouTube where they like really get to the bottom of the discussion.
39 minutes, 27 seconds
No.
39 minutes, 27 seconds
So there’s a show it’s like I don’t know what it’s called. surrounded maybe and it’s just you you debate like 20 people on one issue.
39 minutes, 35 seconds
Oh, I’ve seen clips of of this. I didn’t know what it was called. Yeah. Oh, so she did one against not not just the obese, but like obese and obese body
39 minutes, 45 seconds
Jillian Michaels is like an exercise lady.
39 minutes, 46 seconds
Oh, I know who Jillian Michaels is. I know who that is.
39 minutes, 48 seconds
So, she sat at a table and it was mostly obese women around her with like, you know, some obese allies, body positive.
39 minutes, 56 seconds
And what was kind of messed up in order to talk in order to be the debater they make you rush to the chair. I swear to God. So she had it was just obese women
40 minutes, 4 seconds
trying to like rush to the chair to sit and get their like turn to debate her.
40 minutes, 8 seconds
Tell me if I’m understanding this correct. A woman who’s made a career of being fitness was trying to convince 20 heavier women that they should be called fatbodied.
40 minutes, 17 seconds
No, no, no, no, no.
40 minutes, 18 seconds
They were saying they want to be called fat bodied.
40 minutes, 19 seconds
They were the ones being like fatbodied, heavybodied. Fatbodied is apparently like the preferred term of the body positive movement. Do what? Who gives
40 minutes, 28 seconds
these 20 women who agree to do this thing which is already quite filtered down a lot to be the to that’s not enough for me. What do you mean?
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That’s not enough for me to then go around and just be like, “Okay, these 20 heavy women said that I should be calling you fat-bodied.” I know a guy that stutters.
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And when he stutters, it’s a serious, you know, like it where like you know what he’s gonna
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You know, and then like say he wants you to finish a sentence. Got you.
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If you know what I’m going to say, you could just say it. Yeah.
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That’s not how all stuttering people are. Yeah, that’s true. You know, let alone the heavy ones. True.
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So, I’m just saying if you’re heavy and you want me to call you fat, I feel like that should be like a pronoun. You go by heavy or fat? Fatbodied.
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Yeah. Do you go by fat bodied or heavy or thick?
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Thick would be nice. I think it would probably like thick. Voluuptuous would be nice. But but here’s the thing. I’ve learned on the that that podcast that
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apparently the junk food companies have infiltrated the body positive movement and are using a lot of that stuff and
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showing like this is actually great for us. Like they want to get the nutrition facts kind of removed from food products just so like that way you don’t have to
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face the shame of like eating 900 knowing you ate 900 calories. They’re saying basically like get that stuff off and you have like junk food companies
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literally have internal memos are like yo this is good. we’re going to run with this. So, that kind of gets that’s kind of if that’s true, that’s pretty sad.
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Um, especially anything that mess with the body positive movement, I take that pretty seriously.
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I think body positivity is great, but shouldn’t cannibalize in information, awareness, and health.
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Uh, that’s sorry as on behalf of the body positive. It’s that’s the shame is the shame is all that matters. I don’t don’t trigger my shame.
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I I don’t think that it’s my responsibility to um to manage your feelings. Wow.
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I don’t Wow. And I think that I think that it’s systemic and I think that people who eat a certain way um there’s there’s an
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economic point to it as well. Hey, have some soup.
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But then it’s it’s generational and you’re feeding people certain things and it’s education. You’re not aware of it.
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And a lot of food deserts, they get what they have access to and I could appreciate that. We need to do better on having options and education that you
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could choose to ignore. You want to smoke your cigarettes? Go ahead and do it. I don’t want to be next to you when you’re doing it. I’m gonna have to get my stuff dry cleaned. No, I get what you’re saying. You’re saying
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it’s not so much that it’s it’s not so much that they’re fat people are fat, it’s cuz they’re mostly dumb and poor is what you’re saying.
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Not those exact words. What I’m What I’m saying is when you remove when you remove the information Yeah.
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and people are eating stuff that’s unhealthy and they don’t know they’re eating things that are unhealthy, it’s going to make things worse. If you know what you’re eating and what it does to you and you choose to do it, do it.
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Yeah.
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I do think thick with two C’s is better than thick with a CK. I think so too. I think like fat with a PH.
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Yeah, I think so too. I think that has like a nice rounding softness. The K is a very harsh pun intended.
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No, no, I swear. K is a very harsh kind of, you know, letter.
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Also, K is K is kind of like the body of a of a of a fit person. True.
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K is just like, you know, with a skinny little bun and some [Β __Β ] athletic. Yeah. The geometry is too harsh.
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Yeah. A C A C is just like Yeah, it’s very Yeah, it’s already kind of sitting down. Yeah, I uh I think I I
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I watched it. I kind of did truly. I feel like, you know, they were trying to argue basically like it’s not unhealthy to be obese. And it’s
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like, yeah, it kind of is. And which is again, it’s like if you’re going to do that, like you said, do it. But it is.
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Someone’s going to be there being like, yeah, well, just so you know, it’s bad for you and you’re probably addicted to food. And uh you know, so I don’t know.
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I don’t I just I I feel like uh it’s a lot of stuff, right? A lot of stuff’s framed. We’re like, well, how are we going to save every single person? It’s like you’re not people are going to
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people are going to fall to a good place to start is on their uh their diet if you’re going to save somebody. But now you’re shaming them.
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So there’s a difference between people feeling shame and shaming somebody. I I do agree there is. I agree.
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And I and and we’re not even talking about thick. We’re talking about if you’re unable to get a certain amount if
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if you’re not able to to go get your mail without being winded and by the way you’re in your 30s or 40s. Yeah.
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You you’re going to take care of it now so it’s easier later.
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You know, like I I actually feel very strongly about this and I’m somebody who has quite a bit of injuries. I have quite a Jewish body and I’ve had multiple surgeries.
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What happened? Uh, I still trying to figure out I’ve had surgery on my shoulder, my elbow, and I’ve had triple
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surgery for two sports hernas. Um, I I’m getting PRP, physical therapy. I’m doing stuff all the time. And I’m just like
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I’m I’m almost 30. So, like as time goes on, um, things hurt more and it’s harder for it to heal. And I’m very conscious of like I want to get stuff figured out.
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Yeah. you know, and and and I just think that like I go into my parents’ fridge and some of the stuff that my mom is
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like just her her creamers, it’s like it’s not that she loves this creamer, it’s that this is the one that she knows. Yeah.
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So, like I think there’s an education thing like make some choices, but you like I think there’s a lack of intention. And I’m not the the the be all of this.
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I’m just like I try like I’ll look and I when I I I cook a lot. I try to do grass-fed, but I’ll also eat In-N-Out Burger. Sure.
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So, like, I don’t know. I just think that, you know, if you’re fat as [Β __Β ] Yeah.
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and you feel bad about that, don’t get mad at me for saying I want to have the calories on the side of the box. Yeah.
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But if you’re thick, you know, let me drop some papers next to you.
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That’s what I’m saying, man. Yeah. If you can really hit that, there’s an in between zone that’s just really delightful.
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But, but here’s the thing, too. There are like like a doorway is only so wide.
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Like, you can get fat enough to where you can’t make it through a doorway. And that’s when you get to get like cut out of your house. That sucks.
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And to be like, well, don’t you dare shame. It’s like, no, that’s shame.
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Shame on you. If you get stuck in your house, I would say you there should be a feeling of shame or like I got so fat I can’t get out of my house.
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I do think and I talk about this on stage sometimes. I do think shame and embarrassment gets a bad rap because sometimes we put it on ourselves and
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it’s like we need to accept ourselves and sometimes it’s like, “Oh, maybe I shouldn’t do that again.” I think it’s a good way to check, but I also want to offer the other side of the
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voice that we’re fortunate enough that food does something to us differently than some other people. Not even our addiction to it, but like some people genetically,
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they just put on weight. It’s a lot harder. So, they have a big ch It’s like an alcoholic versus a non-alcoholic.
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Excuse me. So, like, you know, if you’re stuck in your house, you know, shame on you. Sure.
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Shame on me. I’m not I’m not mad at that person, but it’s shame on you. If you feel shameful about it, that is shame on you. That’s I think if you’re stuck in your house once, shame on you. But if you’re stuck in your house twice, shame on me.
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Why would it be shame on you? Fool me once. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
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I mean, I mean, that would be some It would bring shame to the community if you got like like, “Oh, they’re stuck in their house again.” When I see people uh
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on uh on on Instagram and they’re clearly out of shape and they’re doing their exercises and like they’re showing
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that they’re trying to do stuff, I get I get just as I I want to go to the gym.
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It gets me so [Β __Β ] amped. And then you look at some of the comments and people like, “Bro, you’re sh that’s the shit.” Yeah.
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Look at this guy or whatever. But it’s like, do you know how hard it is to like have a lifestyle where you’re sedentary like that? You’re stuck in a [Β __Β ] house and now you’re hula hooping for 5 minutes a day.
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Yeah. No, I I get pumped when I see my fatbodied brothers out there at the gym and sisters, I I kind of really root for that. I really do. I get kind of pumped.
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I’m like cuz that’s so hard, dude. It’s It’s hard enough to work start working out if you’re not even like that big.
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But when you like when I see them like kick it into gear, I’m like, “Fuck yeah.” I really I really pull for that. That’s the kind of gear you do like. That’s the gear I do like. I’m glad we met, man.
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Me, too, man. I was really I was looking forward to this. There’s a there’s a there’s a uh I I found out about you because of Shane.
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Um I as a comedian don’t watch I mean I watch more now the past couple years for whatever reason. I’m watching people’s specials. I’m watching more stuff. Uh I
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think you’re so funny. I think Shane is part of what got me into watching special cuz I he’s so [Β __Β ] funny. So I watch your podcast sometimes now. So I
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know you almost at the same time because you guys are on the same podcast. is what I’ve seen the most. And you both have a certain similar cadence of things. Obviously, you’re friends.
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That’s what happens. But you just my fat bodied brothers and sisters. I don’t even know how to explain it. But the way you said it is so
49 minutes, 3 seconds
well also so wholesome. It’s so it’s such a it’s I what I’m getting is a long way saying I’m so attracted to the way you guys talk. And that was one of them.
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Do do you know how to define what that my fat body brothers and sisters? It’s like you’ve thought about this and you’re an ally. You’re being silly and you mean it and you’re making fun. It’s I don’t know what that is.
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Yeah, it’s just fun. Well, it was funny because like out of nowhere, right around 2016 is when we started our podcast and like we started it right
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before Donald Trump became elected and then like the whole political world or the no the whole comedy world fell into like a political battle. Everything
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became polarized. So we like started it while confronting this like I would say like relatively new kind of thing of
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like language being like hyper policed and all this stuff and you know we never really got into like I at least not maybe in the beginning a little bit but
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like hyper reactionary where it’s like you’ll never tell me what to say. It was just kind of just made it more funny to me where it’s like okay now you can’t say how do you come up with ways to say
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this but also not being like like a bulldozer like don’t [Β __Β ] dare control my speech cuz that gets like weird on that side. So it’s just like
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dealing with that forever. It’s funny to like word things in a way that like hits people’s brains and they’re like I don’t know how I should feel about this and it just makes me kind of giggle honestly.
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There isn’t I don’t know how I should feel about this and that’s what’s so interesting. There was everything you just said is great.
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Thank you. Yeah, there’s such you guys are so likable while also being bros.
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Yeah, you know, it’s a it’s a [Β __Β ] great pocket.
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I like bros. People bros gets a bad rep, man. I I love when I hear someone’s a bro, I’m like nice. I like bros. Define what that bro is that you like.
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Just a bro like you’re down like you’re just like, you know, you’re at someone’s house and like, you know, if there’s just like I don’t know, you can just bro down. There’s just like certain things
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you can just talk about and I can just bro down. You’re like, “Oh, nice guy’s a bro.” Does that mean chugging beers as well or is that not See, I’m not a big drinker, but I do
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appreciate if someone can bro I could turn it on and bro down. I’m more of a tequila guy, but I’m not I really am not a huge fan of alcohol in general,
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but I could drink alcohol.
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No, I don’t drink actually at all.
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I’m not sober. I just don’t I’m a I’m a weed guy.
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Um yeah, I’m actually really similar. I I’ll like I can drink a little bit and I can if I’m like in the right setting I can turn on the day drinking jets but
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like I just don’t really like the effects of alcohol especially as I get older it’s like you know it’s mostly negatives. It’s like if I’m
51 minutes, 25 seconds
if I’m going to get if I’m going to have like one or two drinks that’s fine and then but I’m not going to feel 100% the next day. If I have eight now I’m like I
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could potentially wreck my family. It’s just like very there’s not for me there’s not a lot of like you know great returns and getting hammered. Whereas I do like weed a I
51 minutes, 40 seconds
like just getting kind of stoned. And do you do we podcasts? What’s that? Get high on a podcast. Oh, for sure. Yeah.
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My favorite to do. Next time I’m here, if you’re in LA, if if no obligations, we podcast again, would you do a high one with me? For sure.
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It’s It’s the mo It’s It feels like I’m a kid and friends I’ve I’ve said this analogy before, but do you remember when you were a kid? I don’t know if you had
52 minutes
this growing up, but like if a friend was going to come over after school, they had to get a slip to go on your bus.
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Yes. Actually, that was that was really fun. And all day, you know, you got a friend coming over on the bus. When I know that I have a friend coming over getting stoned all day, I’m just like, I
52 minutes, 16 seconds
got a friend coming over on the bus. I had that feeling. We get high. It’s like, and then and then you get to, you know, make it and then people like it enough to where like, oh, we love
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watching these. People get high to watch them.
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Yeah. Very fun. I I did uh me and my friends, uh, Sydney Gat and Tim Butterly, we did 50 episodes of a podcast called Stoner Dads where we
52 minutes, 35 seconds
would get as high as it was like it was completely unsustainable. We would try to get like as high as humanly possible and just do a podcast and it was so
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[Β __Β ] fun. But a lot of it was just like completely chaos. But it was it’s a very fun thing when you just get high and you’re like, “All right, let’s just
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blab.” Do you do edibles?
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Yeah. I like I used to do I used to make them a lot. I used to make them and I just I think I just like burnt myself out on them. now like I feel like that I’m so sensitive to them where if I have
53 minutes, 2 seconds
like dude honestly 10 milligrams for me is like plenty on an edible dude that I I get high two three days a week I do five
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I sometimes do two and a half wild you know them uh yeah actually they’re really nice they’re in dispensaries every I like I like two two and a half’s very chill
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five is nice too 10 is like to the point where now I get like a little it’s just it’s so overwhelming and the thing is is like I I’ve been through it a million
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times I know I’m fine but it’s just like that initial first like hour I’m like dude this is yeah it’s a little more than I bargain for one of those people eat those 500
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milligram brownies and drinks and stuff that’s nuts I I have a theory about that it’s like I think if you well it’s a lot of it has to do with the way you break it down in
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your stomach but when people are like yeah I just crushed like a 250 milligram edible and like chilled around my parents I’m like how like what’s going on in your brain that even allows
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my way metabolizes is different like you said like my dad smokes every day and I want him to do edibles instead or at least smoke less Yeah.
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Uh, and I give him 100 milligrams and he goes, “Maybe I feel it.” It’s crazy. And I think that might be like a maybe it is a gut thing, but or or manly thing.
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It’s man, it could be manly where everything’s just shut down and repressed and you’re just like, “Yeah, I was a little weird last night, but there it can’t like get anywhere in your head.” I know people like that.
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I’ve seen my dad when he I’ve seen my dad, he’s been on my podcast [Β __Β ] lit. Yeah. But not from smoking, not from the edibles.
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Yeah. No, they Yeah. They Yeah. I that’s the one thing too with like people older people who haven’t done weed at all or like in years then they go to a
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dispensary and they’re just like yeah here here’s like rosin oil you can just kind of do like an extraction it’s like 300 milligrams like dude you’re signing
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them up for you know the ambulance ride I used to have 200 milligram lollipops that I would like dull out to people back in the day I remember I was tell this one guy would
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crush them he’s like I’m going to give some to my wife and I’m like I don’t know man they’re pretty strong maybe like give her a little 200 milligrams you got a lollipop dude and that was a He uh I
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was like, “If you give it to her, break off a little piece.” He called me up like, you know, 4 hours later like, “Ah, I gave her the whole thing. She’s freaking out. She wants to go to the
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hospital.” I was like, “Just run a bath, man. Just put her in the bathtub. Just kind of, you know, try to chill.” So, put her in the bathtub. Send me a pic.
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Put her in the Put your wife in the bath. Send me a picture.
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Yeah. Do me a favor. Just put her in the bathtub. Send me a picture. I got to see cuz like I’ll let you know if she has to go to the hospital or not.
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Yeah. I sold you that lollipop. I need to I feel responsible for this. That’s just bros talking.
55 minutes, 23 seconds
That’s bros. That’s bro talk. See, that’s I want to see your wife’s tits. As long as she’s okay.
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That’s bro talk. That’s bro talk. And no, the bro talk is you don’t have to.
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Obviously, we’re kidding. Once you qualify being like, you only if she’s okay, it’s like you’ve stepped out of the bro realm. Obviously, she’s she’s going to be okay with you.
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Yeah, I want to see your wife’s tits no matter how she’s feeling.
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No, don’t even bring it up. That’s show me your wife’s tits.
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Yeah, but we we’re kidding. We both know we’re kidding. I think I get this.
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I I I also think though only if she’s okay is actually a nice addendum. Send me Send me Send me your wife’s tits. I’m just kidding. But if you do, only if she’s okay.
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And then go psych. Now you’re broing down, right? Psych only if she’s okay. Yeah, but we also know we’re kidding. The bro
56 minutes, 5 seconds
ship, we obviously are like, “We’re kidding.” But that’s the thing. Yeah. You have to know you’re kidding.
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You have to know you’re kidding. You got Yeah. You don’t want to get a But if he did send you a picture of his wife’s tits, would you say it’s awesome or would you be like, “Dude, that’s not cool. Why?” I would Yeah. That’s when you go, “Hey,
56 minutes, 17 seconds
man. You You vi this is this is weird.” I I know of somebody who their wife had was doing one of those like very erotic like pole dancing type
56 minutes, 26 seconds
classes or whatever and then like they were sending someone I know this guy was sending pictures of like his wife doing the classes. The pictures got
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increasingly risque to the point where it’s just like a lingerie photo and my friend was just like, “Yo, stop sending me that stuff, man.” Yeah. It’s making me really uncomfortable.
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But if you’re going to send it on WhatsApp so it doesn’t compress. Yeah. I hear you.
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That is weird, though. That That’s I’m just kidding. Perfect. Thanks.
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But no, that is a weird thing. That was uh I’ve never dealt with that. Getting I think it’s called getting hotwed. That’s sometimes if someone’s courting a bull, you know what I mean?
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Wow.
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You start tanalyzing them with like hot pictures of your wife and courting a bull. I don’t know what that expression means.
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So it’s like cut culture. So it’ be like if you were if you were a cuck, you’d want a bull to come please your wife.
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So if I’m married to a woman and I want you to [Β __Β ] my wife, you might hotwife me.
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I would and that would be all hot. I’d hotw wife you in order to court you the bull.
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Yes, man. Being a bro is [Β __Β ] awesome. Exactly.
57 minutes, 26 seconds
That was just the best. Yeah, that was a perfect Yeah, gay guys aren’t rich. They just don’t have kids or something. What? You got to [Β __Β ] it. You’re a poet.
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I forget, bro. They just It’s gone next.
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The I’m just kidding is a real important thing. It’s it’s it’s it’s a big it’s a it’s a big part of my act at the moment of like when I learned I didn’t know intuitively as a kid that you have to
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say I’m just kidding. They know that I’m just kidding.
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And like sometimes they don’t know that you’re kidding, dude. I Yeah. And it’s really especially with the internet. I’ve gotten I’ve gotten in trouble for uh saying like
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really weird [Β __Β ] and they’re like like I was on Theo Von’s podcast and I was talking about how you know kids wear like rash guards at the beaches now so they just have like that sunscreen shirt
58 minutes, 4 seconds
on. I was just like, “Dude, like you never see I want to like, you know, you don’t know like I want to see like back in the day you could see a kid’s like physique and I want to know if this kid’s doing his push-ups. I want to see
58 minutes, 12 seconds
this kid’s pecs and like people just clip that up and we’re like, “No, this guy’s legitimately a pedophile. He’s a problem.” I was on TikTok as a pedophile for like two months.
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And how that how did that affect your life?
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I thought that was funny actually. I was kind of laughing, but it was like it was, you know, I thought it was like a pretty clear joke to be like, “Yo, let me see those pecs pop off that rash guard.”
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Then there’s people that say, “Yeah, even if you’re joking, you can’t joke about that.” Boo. That’s boot of that.
58 minutes, 34 seconds
If there’s something you can’t joke about, definitely what’s not in that category is looking at little boys bodies. Pecs specifically. Little boys don’t even have pecs.
58 minutes, 43 seconds
No, but they do have six-packs, some of them, cuz they’re so skinny. That’s true. Let me see your little boy six-pack.
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Clip it. I don’t give a flying [Β __Β ] Wants to see your little boy six-pack.
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Now, are you Would you be fine with it if it’s a fourpack?
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Yeah. I mean, he’s just a boy. He’s going if he’s on he’s got a fourack.
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He’s he’s going to probably have like an eight pack once he hits puberty. He call me back when he when he hits puberty so I can check his eight pack. No, it’s not okay.
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Between that and the Jews stuff that you’re doing.
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Hey, I was pumping it up, man. You were asking me a question. I just That was a rapid fire response.
59 minutes, 17 seconds
Speaking of pumping it up, what are they called? Muscle mommies. Muscle mommies. Yeah.
59 minutes, 20 seconds
They got six-packs and I [Β __Β ] I love a six-pack.
59 minutes, 23 seconds
You love it. You’re driving me crazy, dude. We’re right next to a gym. You if you I’m telling you, they have some muscle mommies there, dude. Yeah, but it’s there’s so many specifics. There’s
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so many specific if I were building this and I’ve been trying to Okay, for sure.
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But like I think women are so beautiful in an airport. Yeah.
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A lot of times they’re wearing sweats like they have their hair up or they have a baseball cap on. There’s something about it that’s very athletic leisure in that order.
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For sure.
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That to me represents what I’m talking about with the six-pack. just that like strong energy but still like I want
59 minutes, 59 seconds
again everything’s great but personally with some soft features still you know like still like a beautiful face and it’s like to find
1 hour, 9 seconds
that is already so difficult those women are not going to be interested in a [Β __Β ] slug like me what are you talking about
1 hour, 16 seconds
I’m a [Β __Β ] loser get the [Β __Β ] out of here dude what did you notice you’re popping you’re [Β __Β ] popping you got crazy riz tall Tall chicks like
1 hour, 24 seconds
I didn’t learn chicks like tall guys until I was like 32.
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I was just talking about this. I didn’t realize this either cuz you’re tall.
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I’m not I’m not sub six. What are you talking about? I’m sub six. You got the energy of a 6’5.
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I appreciate that. I actually all my cousins are like 6’4 65. So I guess some of their stuff kind of did rub off on me. I’m I’m sub six, dude. I’m I’m despicable.
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Wow. Not even 6 feet. I’m [Β __Β ] 5’10.
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Yeah, but you say you say things in a funny way. Gives you an short I’m handicapped. I got to make up for my lack of height. Well, anyway, these strong girls, they want a strong
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guy. They don’t want you like a hard body, dude. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s called a hard body, babe.
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So, but I need you to know, really, that’s not my preference. What’s your preference? I can’t believe I’m saying this type.
1 hour, 1 minute, 6 seconds
I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think half any Asian, half white. What’s wrong with that? That’s nice.
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They Especially if they do martial arts.
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That’s [Β __Β ] awesome. And they’re funny.
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They They know how to cook. That sounds pretty nice. Why? We laugh a lot. We eat donuts.
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Yeah, that’s nice. You like wanian?
1 hour, 1 minute, 29 seconds
Yeah, it’s nice. And leave my ass a little bit.
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I don’t know what we’re keeping it. You leave my ass a little bit. You ever you ever notice that when you when you eat out an Asian woman, you’re hungry 30
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minutes later? We’ll be right back after work sponsors.
1 hour, 1 minute, 48 seconds
Anyway, yeah, that’s a good I think that’s you should go for that, man. How would you find that? Cuz I I think on the dating apps, you can’t exactly filter by like
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I put but I put in my description. If you’re not half Asian and half white and and don’t do martial arts, keep moving. Do your body a favor and take a hike.
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That’s a good idea.
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Nike, I want to get my dating profile sponsored by somebody like that and I could just do slogans all the time.
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That’d be awesome. Do you do online dating or is just Are you just on Instagram? Although it’s funny that Instagram is no longer considered online dating.
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I know there’s so many levels of online dating that Instagram is the real world. I feel like when it’s top tier. Instagram’s top tier online dating.
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Yeah. Because you you’re going out there and you don’t know if they’re single.
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It’s like the real world. I sometimes I order a delivery so often that when I go and pick something up, I feel like I’m cooking. Yeah. Yeah.
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And that’s what Instagram is, I think, to meeting people in public. Uh I meet people in public a fair amount now.
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Yeah. Like so you’re telling me about that. So you’re you’re you’re just kind of turning on the jets. Have you have you met someone in public who has been a fan of you that they’re like when you
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start talking to them they already know who you are or you just they usually become a fan of mine after I start talking. Gotcha.
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They don’t you know maybe but not enough to where No, I don’t think so. Like I’ve met people where afterwards they’re like you know I’ve seen clips of you. Yeah. That’s the most.
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Um and as much as I want a person to be a fan of mine I want them to be a fan of mine after they meet me and then they start to really like me. Yeah.
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You know I you know I know what you mean. Yeah.
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Yeah. Um, and also I’ve been talking in person with with this isn’t even like a trick.
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This is my real mentality. I’m really not looking to find my I want to find a wife.
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I’m not going to you cuz you might be my girlfriend or my wife. I really I love talking to people. I’ve always loved talking to people. My mom is the same way. But when it’s a really pretty
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woman, I may be like, I don’t need to do a bit with her. You know, I don’t need to talk to this person. I’m a little You get a little intimidated. And I just opened that door like do the same stuff
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that you do with at Bed Bath and Beyond with any random person, but with this pretty person. Then you talk, you do a bit, maybe you get out, maybe you talk, maybe you exchange an information, maybe
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not. And there’s such a limited pressure when I’m not going in here to get her information. I’m going in here to have like a little a little beat of something. I love talking to people.
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Yeah, that’s nice. I mean, you might as well use that skill on hot babes. I’m I’m uh that’s tough, man. Yeah, I I just
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I’ve always been terrified just to like, you know, strike especially like with alcohol that makes it easier obviously, but like middle of the day striking up
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combo. As I’ve gotten older, I think it’d be a lot easier, but when I was young, I was like so hard to figure out like what do I say to this person? Do you remember anything that you did? Did you ever do it anyway?
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In terms of like trying to talk to women at a bar, I I would or in public anywhere.
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Yeah. I mean, here’s the thing. It’s like I feel like looking back on it, I feel like I would just like a psycho just be
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like, “Hey, how are you?” rather than like, “Where are you?” Why is that psycho?
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Cuz it’s easier to like talk about the if you’re at the grocery store, right?
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You’re an arowana or whatever. You can go, “Oh, I love that granola. She’s holding the granola. I love that.” Just to walk up to somebody at a grocery store and say, “Hey, how are you?” is a little That’s like I clearly am just trying to
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[Β __Β ] you and I’m not I don’t even know how to mask my intentions. And I’m like, “Uh, hi.” And they’re like, “Get the [Β __Β ] away from me.” So, how would you do it now? If I Well,
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I’m married now, so now I would obviously be in secret.
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No, no, no, no, no, no. You know, he’s the shogun. He’s showing around.
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If I had to do it now, I mean, now it would be it all depends on the situation and circumstance where, you know, wherever I’m at, I I think now I’m
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well-rounded enough to like be able to strike up some kind of conversation that doesn’t make it seem like I’m desperately horny for that person. You know what I mean?
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All right. If we were going to go into muscle mommies after this, oh, easy all day, dude. I would just talk training. What are you doing? What are you training? What are you bulking?
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You cutting? You know, you could easily All right. Can we Can we Can we role play it real quick? Muscle mommy. Uh, yeah. I’m the muscle mommy. All right.
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All right. Um, uh, I’m on Does the hip, you know, that you go this way and then you go this way, right? Oh, yeah. Okay.
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We’re doing I’m doing that. And that’s Why did you pick that exercise? That is because I’m just thinking what would I be two things where you’re sitting down next to somebody. Got you.
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I also I had triple hernia surgery. I I do I work on my abductors and my adductors. I just I always see women doing that.
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I’m always I try to like almost like that’s burning bush for me. Yeah. Just look away.
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You know, it’s funny that you say that because it’s not a sexual thing to look like. I even noticed that your underpants looks like the old Cavs jerseys. Oh, do they popping through the bottom? Yeah.
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Oh, sorry. Oh, I didn’t even notice. Sorry.
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If If you were doing the abductors, I honestly would. It’s such a sexual movement. I would actually hold off.
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Let me show you how I would do it and then you’ll do another sit here. You’re already doing Yeah, I’m working here. I’m not doing abductors.
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No, you’re I’m doing lat pull downs. No, no, no. Why don’t you’re the woman?
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Oh. Oh, okay. I’m going I’m muscle mommy another machine goes okay I thought you saying okay muscle mommy
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[Β __Β ]
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what are you on leg girl I just want to know for context so so again again there’s two there’s the one where you go out that’s what you’re doing and then there’s the one
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where you push it in those are two separate machines and I’m sitting on the other
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I’ve never done these. I’ve always I feel like I’ve done them once before. I feel like whenever I do them I don’t even know you’re talking to me.
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Oh, sorry. Then why’d you say I don’t even know you’re talking to me?
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I’m just trying to give you the queue up, man.
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No, no, buddy. You’re not an actor, dude.
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You know I’m You know I’m talking to you because you said I don’t even know you’re talking to me.
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Well, I broke the wall. I broke the fourth wall. Stop. Sorry. My bad. All right, we’re back. We’re back in back in scene.
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Just stay in it and whatever it is. And if you don’t know that I’m talking to you, don’t respond to it. Okay. My bad. My bad.
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[Β __Β ]
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Jesus. Do you ever take a rest?
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What? It just it seems like you’ve been doing that for so long. This is way harder than I thought it was. Of course, I’m talking about my big fat black dick.
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Rick Glassman. What did you say? I said, uh, my thighs are burning.
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I was just making a joke before, but yeah, these are harder than I thought they were. Do you Do you do both? Yeah, if I super set them.
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Oh, actually, I’m using that. Well, now you got to wipe it down.
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That’s fine. Your [Β __Β ] ass probably isn’t even sweating in here.
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I’m not interested in you. I’m not interested in that energy.
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Yeah, that was I’m sorry. I took I went I went too far, dude. I need to be with somebody who’s like legitimately kind.
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Yeah, like no ifs ands, but a huge butt about it. Heard heard that kindness.
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Kind and a huge butt would be Yeah. It’s the dream.
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Isn’t it interesting that when we were kids it was about the boobs and now they’re still nice, but it’s it is about now the butt and even more so now the face.
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Yeah. I mean, I think the face was always kind of in the equation, but yeah, I think a uh Yeah, we we went from boobs to butt pretty hard, man. That was a big switch
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up and everyone agreed.
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Yeah. Well, there’s there’s some holdouts. You got some titty guys.
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Yeah, there were people that used to like butts over boobs back then, but I’m just saying Yeah, but that was you didn’t hear about them. Well, that was pre- internet.
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I think that was just a clash of white American and black culture. Just kind of like completely just That’s the melting pot at work, dude. Do you think that because of Eminem now there are more
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people white people okay with black culture where they’ve accepted that a big butt is is is cool Eminem responsible I don’t even know if it was just Eminem cuz like
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white people like so many different rap people obviously loved Eminem but like you know they love so many other rappers I think we just got Nas
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Nas was never big was he really flaunting big butts I feel like that was No I’m just saying what what brought white people into rap I think I think Biggie and Tupac
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probably did just because everyone’s talking about him that was a big one and rap just became the thing. So, I think we just got like, you know, it was just big butts, big You just saw them growing up. I saw them
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non-stop and I was like, “Yeah, actually these guys are on to something. Big butts kind of do rule.” Yeah.
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So, now Yeah. Now girls are like, you know, working for the butt. I think it’s good. Yeah. I think that’s good, too.
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Yeah. White chicks were just getting by on just tits for a while. Now it’s like, let’s, you know, hold them accountable.
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Yeah. Let’s The thing is, I have very little butt. Do you really? Yeah. I have I have a pretty fat ass.
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I’m pretty Thank you. I’m pretty caked up.
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I noticed when you walked in. I don’t know if you saw, but when I went like this, it was because your big fat [Β __Β ] ass. But I I I I wouldn’t say
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that I’m insecure about my flat ass, but I am self-conscious of it. Like after making love to a woman, um which I try to do before [Β __Β ] her. Sure.
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Uh and I go to the bathroom to to uh to uh turn the water on to get it warm and uh get a towel.
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For sure. I will usually walk sometimes, more than not, I will walk to my to the bathroom backwards so she could see my my penis.
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You’re receding. I mean, that is the most glorious state when it’s kind of receding, but you’re like, “Yeah, it’s pretty much always like this, honestly.” So, I mean, that’s that’s more so to not show my flat ass.
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I’m the opposite. I’m a no dick. So, I’m going to I’m going to show him the ass.
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Dude, the two of us together, we could be triumphant. So powerful. Does Shane have a a little dick? I’ve never watched. He looks like he has a fat ass.
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He doesn’t have a fat ass.
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I would imagine he’s more of a girth monster. So, you got the ass. He’s got the dick.
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Yeah, I think so. Yeah. Out of the two of us, for sure. I think he’s got I think he’s got That’s why you guys are such a good team. Exactly. I’m all ass. He’s all girth.
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That’s why I’m looking for a girl with a fat ass and a little dick. Perfect. Nike. That’s perfect.
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Yeah. Shane does look like he would have a thick dick. Yeah.
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Isn’t it funny? You could look at a guy and kind of get an idea of what his dick looks like.
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Yeah. I mean, I that’s what I that’s what I was wondering. Why is that why like tall guys are so attractive to women? Cuz I guess they just go like, “Well, hey, if he’s tall.” I don’t think it’s about their penis. I
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think it’s more uh I think it’s a genetic thing where like it it’s the it’s a protection thing. It’s like, you know, similar why guys like big boobs.
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It’s like they and and like Yeah. Yeah.
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Usually women with big boobs are better mothers. Yeah. That’s fair.
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I mean, they’re better to go over their house, too, with their friend. You know, if you go to your friend’s house and his mom has big boobs, it’s always kind of nice.
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Yeah, that was like a That was a thing in shows. I remember it used to be like, you know, you know, blah blah blah’s mom’s so [Β __Β ] hot.
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Yeah. Well, dude, the uh I’ve never been attracted to a friend’s mom. Really?
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I don’t I don’t know if that’s because I wasn’t attracted to older women as a kid or because all my friends had ugly moms, but probably the first one.
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No, I growing up I really wasn’t I wasn’t like mad for any of my friends moms, but sometimes they would like leave their underwear out to dry on the line. If I caught glimpse of a bra, I
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was launched. I was never got that, dude. If I saw a bra anywhere, I would just I would be sent. Yeah, cuz it would make you think of a boob was in there.
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Yeah. I’d be like, “Oh [Β __Β ] his mom does have boobs.” I’d be like, “Fuck, that thing touches her boobs.” And I would just be I would be lost. It would just kill me.
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Do you still see boobs bras and it’s attractive?
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Yeah, I think so. If I see like a panty line, like my wife’s always like, “Can you see my underwear in my pants?” And I’m like, “Yeah, I like I kind of like seeing your underwear.” Yeah. I’m like, “I I can see your underwear.” I’ve
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always been, dude, my first time, I’ll never forget it. My first time skiing, I I went there as my parents and my brothers and sisters were there and I was so young. They were like, “You got
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to do the ski lesson thing and then you’ll meet us, you know.” So, I had to I got like shipped off to this lady, two other people. And I’ll never forget, we’re we’re like doing the final test.
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I’m making the pizza and she’s skiing backwards down the mountain like, “All right.” And then her pants ripped and I could just see her underwear and I was
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like maybe 10 or I was floored. And she kept being like, “Hey, hey, look up.
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Look, because she was aware of what happened. She’s like, “Hey.” And I was I couldn’t take my eyes off.
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Oh, she was teaching how to be a gentleman.
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Teaching how to be a skier and then her pants ripped and I was just I was trans.
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When you say look up, is she saying I was staring directly at her underwear?
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Cuz they just the front of her pants just busted open. I I couldn’t I like for the life of me couldn’t look up. I would look up for a second and just be like this whole time down the hill and
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she was like, “Hey, hey, come on now.” And I was like, “I can’t. I lit I’m sorry. I got I didn’t know at the time, but I just it was I didn’t have the self-control.” Now I could be like, “Yo,
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that’s embarrassing. I’ll I’ll look up.” But I was 10 years old just like, “Nope, I’m not going to look up. I can’t. I’m transfixed
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by female underwear.” So, do you think that made you be attracted?
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Like maybe when you see underwear, there’s something that’s connected to like that first time when it was like really connected to something, seeing something private cuz I I don’t know
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because I I feel like I would I would still even before that snag like the you know, you get the Sunday newspaper and I would snag the Kohl’s or whatever. Yeah, but that’s a woman in underwear.
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Yeah. Versus just seeing a bra. Actual underwear.
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Like you say you see underwear on a line, you said you’re like, “Oh my gosh, I was just launched.” Is that a thing? Do you do you think underwear is attractive? Just underwear?
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Yeah. Is there anybody back there?
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Do you think underwear is attractive if if there’s not a person in it? Uh, yeah, kind of. Huh?
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Yeah, man. I I still to this day, man, if I like walk past the Victoria Secrets, I’m like, “Fuck.” Cuz you’re picturing a boob in it. It’s not It’s not the bra. It’s that a boob
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goes in the bra. So, I’m picturing a boob. Is that what it is?
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Yeah. It’s like a pavilon, I guess. It’s just like, you know, when you ring the bell and give the food, it’s just associated.
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Yeah. I’m taking you with that. It’s just It’s just That’s just That’s my Roman Empire. It’s just It’s Are you a psychology guy?
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Uh, I mean, no, but I I remember stuff, you know. Okay, that’s fair.
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Yeah, fair enough. What So, what do you what do you what do you think about Pavlov? What’s your What’s your take on behaviorism as gen in general? Uh I I I
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could I ask you to be a little more specific? What do you mean?
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My thoughts on behaviorism like the study of it that do I believe that it’s accurate? Skinner, you know. Um I think they’re both gay.
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Why else would you be ringing bells and and dogs lick some water? You know, but around I I love psychology stuff. Yeah, I like psychology stuff, too.
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Yeah. Think of any number. 1 through 10.
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Seven. [Β __Β ] I knew you were going to knew that. I already knew you were going to know that, but yeah, I knew all about that, too. Yeah. Think of think of another number. Five. Yep.
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[Β __Β ]
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Five. But like I mean this also something I’ve done a lot. Like this is my like I’m I’m a I’m a numbers guy. Number psychic. Yeah, I am a numbers guy.
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Are you you see you strike me as you were good at math. Uh why do you think I’m not anymore?
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Like no. I’m saying you probably still are. But like were you good at math as a kid? Name any three numbers.
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369. No. All of them.
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[Β __Β ] Were you good at math? I’m curious. Yeah. Okay.
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I could do this. 3 6 9 12 15 18 21 24 27 33 49 42 45 48 Pretty good. I was not good at math,
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bro. I was like for real like I I was like very very bad at math.
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What were you borderline? Huh?
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Oh, before I borderline like needed special help in math. I was very bad.
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Uh I was in the special classes in when I was in school. Were you really? Yeah. I had to go to a special school. What?
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Yeah. It was called PEP, positive education program. It was for the way I saw it as troubled kids. Why were you troubled?
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Well, um I was misunderstood.
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Really? Because you you don’t strike me as you strike me as pretty smart.
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Thank you. Yeah. I had to go to a special school. Um you know uh uh so when I was a kid before I had to go to the special
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school. I was in the special class and it wasn’t just one class. It started as like the the study hall for like learning disabled kids, but then there’s
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like a sub world of that where it’s like something’s going on with these kids. Do you remember when they were like separate? I remember in my grade school
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when they would like separate different levels of learning and I remember feeling like really bad when I got in like the dumbest math group they had.
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There’s actually a dumber one that you probably didn’t know about. I was in that one. What?
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Yeah. It was for kids. It was for kids that like I had to be in there for half the day and I only got to go to half the classes. And I remember it was one of them. There was a class I’ve told this
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on my podcast before. Um I feel like I have to say that I get insecure sometimes. Uh but like it was an English class. Uh I think it was an English class. It doesn’t matter.
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It was a uh you know when you’re doing groups, so it’s kind of casual in groups. It’s like people are walking around, the teachers, you know, writing
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stuff down, whatever. Uh I had to go to the bathroom. I didn’t ask if I could go to the bathroom. The bathroom is right down the hall. Shame on me. I went to
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the bathroom and when I came back, coming down the hall, I heard the teacher yelling, “Ricky’s on the loose.
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Ricky’s on the loose.” Because they thought of me as this troubled kid because I was in this troubled class. It was new. It was eighth grade. In our high school, eighth grade started high school. So like we’re in a new school. M they know, oh, this is a trouble kid.
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Ricky’s on the loose. He’s not so He’s on the loose. Uh my tour now is actually called Ricky’s on the Loose because of that. But like like Ricky’s on the loose and I got in trouble then then I had to
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be in the special class. No, I I wasn’t in the class. I was just in that special class. I didn’t get to do the Washington DC trip, which was a thing people do.
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And the only way I was able to go back into regular school was if I went to PEP first. And if I graduated from PEP, I could come back. Just cuz you went to the bathroom.
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There was other things like they uh I uh they said I burned myself with cigarettes. Um there was a tough actin for athletes foot. If you spray it upside down, cold air comes out.
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Yeah.
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And I did that on my hand and it makes a circle and it goes away. It doesn’t hurt. I didn’t think any. And the next day there was a circle and I didn’t even know this until the end of the year. They would mark all
1 hour, 18 minutes, 31 seconds
these things. He burns himself with cigarettes. He’s disruptive about this.
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Also, I probably did stuff that was annoying and bad too.
1 hour, 18 minutes, 37 seconds
Um uh I remember one of them was they said I’m not allowed to leave this desk and they put blue painters tape around it.
1 hour, 18 minutes, 43 seconds
They said you can’t step one foot outside the desk. So I crawled on my knees. You know I’m in eighth grade.
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Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, I had to go to the school pep where there’s there was a restrainer in every class for when kids would try to jump out the window or try to beat somebody up and they would hold them on the ground.
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That’s crazy. Yeah.
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I I remember I used to be into like u I did a lot of stuff that was kind of bad in grade school, but I didn’t I never rarely got caught. Like I used to the
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thing I used to do when the teacher would like turn her back and do like the chalkboard. I remember being young and being like there’s no way she like has an idea of like all of us in this class.
1 hour, 19 minutes, 14 seconds
Like if if I were to like lay on the floor for a while and just kind of crawl around, I don’t think she’ll notice I’m gone. I used to do that. I would crawl all around during lessons and like pinch
1 hour, 19 minutes, 22 seconds
my friend’s legs and like crawl back to my desk and I would spend like large chunks of class crawling around on the floor with the teachers just facing the blackboard for five minutes.
1 hour, 19 minutes, 30 seconds
She’d be typing or she’d be doing a thing, you know, like writing up there and this and that. And then I would just kind of like, you know, I would just kind of hide. She turned around. I would just be I would
1 hour, 19 minutes, 38 seconds
try to position myself where I’m like behind somebody like so there’s just an empty chair but she wouldn’t even notice and I would just kind of as long as I could see how much time I could spend on the floor.
1 hour, 19 minutes, 47 seconds
Is that why you got the nickname crawling Matt McCuster?
1 hour, 19 minutes, 51 seconds
Dude was awesome. I would throw throwing stuff was fun too. Were kids laugh when you were crawling?
1 hour, 19 minutes, 55 seconds
Yeah, I thought it was pretty funny. I would crawl popular.
1 hour, 19 minutes, 58 seconds
Uh well my my my like grade school is like 23 people in terms of my in my class. My whole class I went to a small Catholic school so it was like 23 kids.
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So it was like I don’t think you even could be popular if that makes sense.
1 hour, 20 minutes, 10 seconds
You know what I mean? So it was like I don’t know that I never got affected by the idea of popularity ever. Like but there’s got to be something about if you’re crawling and people like this
1 hour, 20 minutes, 18 seconds
[Β __Β ] weirdo versus if you’re crawling people are laughing validates.
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Yeah. I think some people thought it was cool. And also I don’t think I got a lot of feedback. It was just I was kind of interested in just kind of like seeing how long I could like or if I left to go
1 hour, 20 minutes, 30 seconds
to the bathroom I would just stay just walk around just go do stuff. I was really into like testing if like people pay like were paying attention or not.
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That was my big thing. So yeah, I really I used to like that really just kind of like gamifying people’s awareness and being like You have siblings? Yeah. How many?
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I’m one of six. One of six. Yeah.
1 hour, 20 minutes, 46 seconds
At tracks talking about psychology. Just want to see if you could get noticed. Yeah. Could be that. Uh you were the second youngest, right?
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Uh I was third. Third two. I bet there’s two below you.
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Yeah. Uh three below me. I have two older brothers. Sis two little sisters.
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Little brother. I I did I I that’s what I meant. Did I say I don’t know. You know, people do that stuff.
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They just say it can’t be wrong. No, I’m meant to like I don’t know.
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I was like, “Yeah, I don’t think so.” But yeah.
1 hour, 21 minutes, 13 seconds
No. No. So, so it’s it’s middle I’m I’m basically middle child, which I share the middle with my other with my sister.
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What’s the age difference between the youngest and the oldest? What would that be?
1 hour, 21 minutes, 24 seconds
14 years. Maybe 14. Yeah, I think about 14 years. Are you in all their lives? Yeah, we’re all pretty close. 14 years. That’s a big difference.
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Yeah. But yeah, my dad’s one and 10. So I have a huge family.
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Dad’s one of 10. It’s probably why he likes the Jews so much. True, he does.
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Big families. And Yeah. I think everyone back then had big families, though. It was like if you were Irish, Italian, Jew, who everyone just had a giant family. Now not so
1 hour, 21 minutes, 49 seconds
much. Three is like people have three kids. It’s like, whoa.
1 hour, 21 minutes, 52 seconds
Yeah. My best bud just had his third third daughter. Really? Yeah.
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He has three daughters. Yeah. I have two daughters.
1 hour, 21 minutes, 57 seconds
My wife wants a third. She’s I might be in third daughterville. Your wife probably already So your wife Your wife has uh uh three little kids at home then, huh?
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She would love that actually. She That’s kind of You stole That’s her joke. Is it? She does that all the time.
1 hour, 22 minutes, 12 seconds
That’s That’s the type of joke that a non- comedian makes in a in a great way. Yeah.
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In a great way. It’s like uh It’s like when the server comes over and uh your plate is done, they’re like, “Oh, looks like you hated that.” It’s like I Great.
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Don’t worry. That’s a fun energy. Nobody thinks you came up with that. I’m It’s great. No. Yeah, this was really good. I like that kind of stuff.
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It’s so true. I like when people have their joke they do and they’re not self-conscious about it at all and you’re just like, “Yeah, man. That’s awesome.” I got one with him. When people ask what
1 hour, 22 minutes, 38 seconds
kind of dog it is, I say his he’s a uh he’s a a half Chihuahua, half pug. His mom’s a Chihuahua and his dad’s Jewish.
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It’s kind of nice.
1 hour, 22 minutes, 49 seconds
And then I get a laugh. I go, it’s a joke. I say, how do people do people ever stonewall that and go like, well, I don’t get that.
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One time and I’ve said it probably 30 times.
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That’s crazy. And I think they didn’t know I’m Jewish and they were Jewish.
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Ah, they were like, “All right, bud.” Yeah. They’re like, it wasn’t even stone roll. It was just like It wasn’t They wasn’t I didn’t even get I didn’t get a laugh.
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Yeah. Yeah. That’s just funny. There was something funny. I I I do think Jewish jokes when you’re being fun with it are very funny. Some people are not. Some
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people are very serious about it. They get mad.
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Some people make Jewish jokes when they’re not even that hateful, but it’s just like Yeah.
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I think they’re just I think it’s like people that are trying to be comedians, I think. True.
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Uh like the soup joke. No, I thought that was great. That was a classic. Are there any jokes that you do? I’m not even saying on stage. On stage is also there.
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But any jokes on or off stage, it just doesn’t get a laugh. Maybe even like a a social bit that you do, but you’re like, I love this joke. And you keep doing it.
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Uh there’s been a couple. I’m trying to remember them now. But I I I’ve started I’ll do them like three or four times and I’ll be like, all right, man. I’m just dropping this. I’m trying to think.
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There was one I was doing. I I literally don’t remember it anymore. It’s kind of weird. But like no one ever liked it and I was like, “All right.” And but and do you feel like they’re wrong? Obviously,
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they’re not, but like is it like, “No, this is funny.” It’s funny to me. I’d laugh, but then I I know I’ll end up being like, “All right, this is pointless.” It’s just
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It’s like hogging up 40 seconds of an hour that just doesn’t need to be there. I do that all the time. I’ll have like a little tag on stuff that I’ll say
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like 20 times and then I’ll be like, “All right, I’m people that’s unnecessary. I can just ditch that part.” Yeah, I feel that way on stage, too.
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Even if it does get a laugh, but it doesn’t beat the laugh before it. It’s like just I mean I think that’s part of the like as they say in a muscle mommies it’s just trimming the fat. Yeah. True.
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It’s just the cutting. You got to bulk and then you got to cut. You got to bulk and cut.
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There’s a joke that I do a lot and it almost never gets a laugh. Um it’s not on stage though. It’s whenever I get food delivered and uh they put it down. I I don’t open
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the door. I don’t really.
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No. Just I go I beat them out from getting out of their car. I’ll do that sometimes. You got that.
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I’ll do that sometimes. Um, but I I got recognized once when they deliver the food and it just weirded me out. It just did. Yeah.
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So, I just haven’t put it down. Um, and I’ll look through the people and while they’re taking a picture of it, I say, “Do you want me to take one with you in it?” That’s kind of fun.
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One time maybe. I do it every single time.
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I like it when I get I get water cases of water delivered to my office and it’s I get two at a time and it’s usually here more often than not. It’s like
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Mexican guy, some guy some guy who’s speaking Spanish and uh he’ll it’s like it’s like an apartment complex I use as an office. So like he’ll pull up and
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it’s a pretty far walk to get in. So I’ll pull up and he’ll set them down.
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They always offer to help me bring them in and I go, “No, no, no, my fuerte.” And I pick it up and they they just dude they lose their minds every time cuz it
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is genuinely pretty heavy. But then I hit them with the ferte and they’re just like, “Bro, you you rule.” I walk in. I’m pretty pleased with myself.
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Do you say that if they’re not Spanish speakaking? No, I would I would just say just let him bring it in.
1 hour, 25 minutes, 43 seconds
Yeah, I’d be like, “Yeah, get the [Β __Β ] [Β __Β ] in my house.” No, I would just grab it and just be like I’d probably say something honestly be like, “No, man. I’m kind of built I’m built differently.” Something like that along those lines.
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I’m built different. Yeah.
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Yeah. That’s that stuff that I’m talking about. It’s like a joke and real and funny and cool.
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No, I got I’m built different. You’re just bringing a case of water.
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You don’t even know the guy. Like, no, I’m kind of I don’t remember the joke, but it was an old It was like a premium blend Nick Schwarzen bit where he was talking about when he changes the water cooler for his
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grandma’s cooler and how confident he feels. She’s like, “Could you lift that?” And like he has the M2 cooler. He goes, “You mean this?” Oh, Nikki. You know what I’m talking about?
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Uh, great. I love She’s so funny. What water do you get? Mountain Valley.
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You know, I used to be a Mountain Valley guy. What’ you switch up on?
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I I’ve just I I follow a lot of accounts that test waters. Mhm.
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And a lot of different accounts, unless there’s some conspiracy going on, looks at that and it’s They’re saying it’s tap.
1 hour, 26 minutes, 33 seconds
No, they’re saying it’s got a lot like arsenic and some stuff. I mean, all water has certain amounts of stuff, but like the levels of the contaminants are a little bit high.
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So, what are you going with right now? I’m working with uh my my number one choice is uh glacial um plastic bottle. Yeah, glass.
1 hour, 26 minutes, 48 seconds
Oh, nice.
1 hour, 26 minutes, 48 seconds
The the glacial, whatever it’s called, the glacial one.
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We’ll put up a picture. And there’s this other one now that I’ve been doing that I really like. And and the bottle, it feels like I have money. And it’s really not that bad. It’s like you could get a
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a 750ml for under three bucks. That’s nice.
1 hour, 27 minutes, 2 seconds
Um I I want to say what it is. So, let me let me pull this up. Uh, while you do that, I think I’m going to get like a filtration system and just re like add the minerals back in myself.
1 hour, 27 minutes, 13 seconds
So, I I drink a lot of water and it’s Yeah, Mountain Valley I feel like it it’s a I think it’s got acquired by like some big giant water company.
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Is that why maybe it’s changed probably system I usually use.
1 hour, 27 minutes, 26 seconds
Yeah, I I like just I like anything glass bottle water. I I like same. Although I’m now I’m seeing for the people that care about this stuff, all the people it’s all made up or
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whatever. I I I I go back and forth, but they’re saying they find more pieces of uh uh of plastic in glass bottles
1 hour, 27 minutes, 42 seconds
because of the material that is in paint when they paint the lids. I don’t know.
1 hour, 27 minutes, 47 seconds
I doubt that. I mean, it’s Aquaart caria spring water.
1 hour, 27 minutes, 51 seconds
That sounds nice. But no, apparently the plastic kind of fancy looking.
1 hour, 27 minutes, 54 seconds
That is a fancy bottle. Do you ever catch hatred when you drink like exotic looking water bottles? People get kind of triggered about that. You hit people
1 hour, 28 minutes, 2 seconds
with a That’s a can. Can’s pretty still pretty humble. Plastic liner inside. There is, but it’s not hitting sunlight.
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Sunlight’s what kind of dissolves in microplastics.
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It’s getting the heat though. The heat also does it. Does it really? Yeah. I didn’t know that.
1 hour, 28 minutes, 14 seconds
I know what you’re saying. I have one thing on my rider and one thing only. It’s my glass water bottles. Same dude. Swear to God. Only thing on your rider. Swear to God.
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Do you ever go places and they don’t have them and you think to yourself, I didn’t ask for much?
1 hour, 28 minutes, 23 seconds
Yeah. I I if I see if I go in there and there’s just like not even like a brand I know but it’s like the comedy club’s label on a plastic water bottle. I’m
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kind of like I don’t ask for much guys. I just want my glass water bottle.
1 hour, 28 minutes, 35 seconds
You drink that or do you just ask for water from the tap?
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I’ll drink that. I’ll just grab it and drink it. I need something on stage. But yeah, I’ll drink it too.
1 hour, 28 minutes, 41 seconds
That’s sick. So you just have just water bottles. Do people ever comment on it to you and you go like, “Yeah, I’m a pretty simple guy, honestly.” I you know it’s funny you say that
1 hour, 28 minutes, 49 seconds
because I think asking for glass water bottles and I actually have a list of ones I prefer and if you don’t have those anything um is uh not simple. I
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feel I think I I know that I come across difficult and I am high maintenance with a lot of things. I try not to make it other people’s burdens but sometimes it
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happens. My podcast is literally called take your shoes off because I have so many rules and that’s like the first one at the door.
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Yeah. But like I think like Oh jeez, this guy’s asking for glass water bottles.
1 hour, 29 minutes, 16 seconds
You know this this dude people ask for like crazy [Β __Β ] Honestly, I’ve heard that it’s like just asking for water is like nothing.
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I’m just I I’m projecting something different than you. I don’t think that’s simple.
1 hour, 29 minutes, 28 seconds
Yeah. Well, I I also I bring them back to my hotel room, too. So then I like I get a bunch. I bring them back with me.
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It’s like, you know, it’s at least, you know, funny. It’s very exact.
1 hour, 29 minutes, 37 seconds
Exactly the same. In fact, I bring the dog carrier and he doesn’t need it. So you put the water in there. I I I I load up and Yeah. So, I’m playing Cap City
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this weekend. It was the first time I’ve played played it here, right? Oh, nice.
1 hour, 29 minutes, 48 seconds
Uh last time Creek in the Cave, which was awesome. Yeah. Um Mothership is amazing, but I’m not in that world. I just I’ve never done like a headlining set there. Um so, this place and they
1 hour, 29 minutes, 56 seconds
had the Evian, which believe it or not, after looking through I like the taste of it. I don’t care. I’m not like the taste of these waters, whatever. It’s just what’s in it and like how how cool
1 hour, 30 minutes, 4 seconds
does the bottle feel in my hand. Evian tasted tested very well.
1 hour, 30 minutes, 8 seconds
So, I’m like I Evian. They had some Evian. It was like one of the ones I wanted. Um, and there were five in there, which is great. I drink two. I drink a lot of water. I drink two and
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then I’m drinking one at the end of the show. There’s two left. I wanted to bring them both back to my room.
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But I’m like, well, what if this is all they have, which would be crazy for a weekend. They might reby later, but I left one in there just in case. So, I have at least
1 hour, 30 minutes, 30 seconds
one. And I’m curious if they notice the one. I’m not meaning to test them. They had already left. I’ll ask if they noticed the one if they replenished or not. And if so, I’ll take them all.
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Yeah, they’ll probably I’d say they replenish. Um I would imagine so.
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Although love a glass. Love to bring them back to my hotel.
1 hour, 30 minutes, 46 seconds
Yeah, that that’s I I would just take them all and then just get there and go the [Β __Β ] I got to die of thirst up there. Go get some bottles. You can you
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can throw around the comedy club. You can throw a little star power. No, I would never. I would just take it.
1 hour, 31 minutes
I think Yeah. Say I think there’s too many things that I do ask for to feel safe.
1 hour, 31 minutes, 5 seconds
Yeah. you know what what what do you do at a comedy club if you’re ask like beforehand I’ll I’ll ask for the comedy club like uh and it’s fine if not but do you guys have a green room with a cuz I
1 hour, 31 minutes, 14 seconds
play some places where there’s no closed door you know cuz then I don’t want him to be there so like before I even get there um I have a sound cue that’s very
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simple but like I sent a video it’s a minute long just have the sound guy watch this yeah um do they have a door for the green room for my dog I’d like a glass bottle
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of water all right Jew you know already like they’re thinking you know I’m That’s it. That’s it. That’s it. So, if anything else comes up, I’m like,
1 hour, 31 minutes, 39 seconds
I think you’d be surprised. I think people have some pretty wild riders, man. I think that’s pretty regular.
1 hour, 31 minutes, 45 seconds
What do you do if the club doesn’t have a green room door? You’re like, I just can’t. I’m not.
1 hour, 31 minutes, 48 seconds
Yeah. I I’ll I’ll uh I’ll leave the dog in the uh uh in the hotel. Okay.
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Um and and then I go like But then I’ll want to go back in between shows to go be with him and walk him and stuff.
1 hour, 31 minutes, 58 seconds
Um uh but yeah, I I feel that way like when I’m ordering in a restaurant, too. I have so many modifications and that’s
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fine. I’m going to I apologize in advance. I’m going to tip well. I’m very difficult at this. Here are my things.
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Sometimes people will be listening and they don’t write it down. Similar to my massages, I say I I bet you have an amazing memory, but for my peace of
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mind, I mean, you got to write this down. Yeah. Yeah. Please. Yeah.
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Um and then great, it’s done. Then if I need something else, I forgot. Can I get a side of honey or whatever? I’m like, yeah. No, I What’s your modifications?
1 hour, 32 minutes, 32 seconds
What do you are you like are you have like food allergies or something?
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I don’t like a lot of things. I don’t like cheese, but I’m not lactose intolerant.
1 hour, 32 minutes, 38 seconds
Uh like I’ll get I’ll get a you know a chicken sandwich. Um um uh and instead of avocado instead of it comes with
1 hour, 32 minutes, 47 seconds
guacamole, so I don’t have to pay extra for avocado. I don’t want the guacamole.
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Instead of guacamole, can I have it with avocado? Yeah.
1 hour, 32 minutes, 52 seconds
And uh could I have uh I could you add pickles and grilled onions? And I’d love to do a side of barbecue sauce.
1 hour, 32 minutes, 59 seconds
Some places uh where I’ve been to before, they put a lot of butter on the bun. Like it’s like it’s like I don’t like that. Yeah. Yeah.
1 hour, 33 minutes, 5 seconds
Could you ask them to not butter the bun? So, no butter on the bun. Can we sub the guacamole for avocado? Uh can we do can we make the onions grill? Can we add pickles and a side of barbecue
1 hour, 33 minutes, 13 seconds
sauce? Okay, great. And then they leave like, “Oh, you know what? I forgot.
1 hour, 33 minutes, 16 seconds
Also, can I get some honey and some hot sauce?” Yeah, I’ll do it, but I’ll do it like this.
1 hour, 33 minutes, 21 seconds
No, I I get that. I I can feel I don’t I have like uh I’ve had food allergies for a while like gluten and stuff. So I I would just feel celiac disease.
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Yeah. I don’t know if it’s like full-blown celiac, but it just [Β __Β ] me up if I eat it. My I get like I get really bad acid reflux and I feel like I have like food stuck in my throat for like ever.
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Like the Jews.
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Yeah. I I’m telling you I think I think my dad just prayed really hard. I was like please I think you might I think your dad might he might be Jewish. He might be but like where’d you grow up?
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Uh right outside of Philly. You could be Jewish there, right?
1 hour, 33 minutes, 50 seconds
Yeah. I don’t think so. I got my ancestry. We were like 99% Irish, but maybe could be there. There is some I have like a small degree of Western Asian in there somewhere.
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I could see that. I’m a little attracted to your butt.
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You know, it’s funny cuz I did one of those tests for Alvin and he is mostly um his mom is a Chihuahua, but his dad’s Jewish. Yeah, I heard that. That’s just a joke. I did.
1 hour, 34 minutes, 10 seconds
Good. Did I do that already? You did. It was nice.
1 hour, 34 minutes, 13 seconds
But yeah, no, I uh No, I was I’m pretty much all Irish. I think I’m a little bit of like whatever Scandinavian.
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And you’re a basketball player. You texted me yesterday, dude. I just played the other day. I’m just getting back into playing again and it’s it’s the best, man. I love playing basketball.
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How’s your body?
1 hour, 34 minutes, 30 seconds
It’s It’s getting used to it again. I’ve been working out a lot, so I’m like in better shape than I was, but it’s like, man, three games to pick up fullcourt basketball. I’m trash for like the next 48 hours.
1 hour, 34 minutes, 39 seconds
You play with strangers or do you have a game?
1 hour, 34 minutes, 40 seconds
Uh, we play it’s mostly like friends in my neighborhood, but then like, you know, random people will come play too. Indoors or outdoors? Outdoors.
1 hour, 34 minutes, 47 seconds
Yeah, outdoor. Double rim. So, I’m fine with the double rim. I I I I tried to stop playing outdoors years ago. Why?
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Heart’s hard on the body.
1 hour, 34 minutes, 56 seconds
Is it what is that what it is? Like the court. So that must be cuz I feel like I have like the flu when I’m done. The next day I’m like dead.
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Buddy, things you’re doing well right now. Okay. I know this from afar. Yeah.
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Find an indoor court. It’s It’d be cheaper than you think. Rent it once a week.
1 hour, 35 minutes, 11 seconds
We’re We’re actually looking into that already cuz it’s Yeah, I It is. I took a tumble on the It’s an Dude, I fell I fell tucked and rolled. popped up
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completely uninjured. It was kind of nice.
1 hour, 35 minutes, 21 seconds
It’s cool. But it was actually really cool. The uh but yeah, that that’s must be what it is. I get done. I’m like, God, the flu is really funny. My body is killing me, man.
1 hour, 35 minutes, 29 seconds
Yeah, it’s going to indoors as well.
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Yeah, that’s the thing when you get older. Do you play often?
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I I I used to. It was my It was like It was like It was ball was is life. Like for real. Like absolutely. And it wasn’t just by play. It was that was my social
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life. It was my friends. It’s how I got my first job in LA. I mean like basketball was everything to me. And I shoot around when there’s a hoop and I got to tell you the truth, even with some time off, daddy still got it.
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Really does.
1 hour, 35 minutes, 53 seconds
You You get better as you get older. I’m 40 now and I feel like my jump shot’s never been better cuz I don’t have I’m not as worried about missing now.
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You know, you get when I was younger, I’d be like, “Oh my god, if I miss it’s going to be I have a shooters mentality now. I just throw it up, fired it away, and it’s like if it goes in, it goes in.” The mindset of a comedian as well.
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Yeah.
1 hour, 36 minutes, 10 seconds
If you you afraid of the miss, it gets in your way.
1 hour, 36 minutes, 12 seconds
Exactly. If you miss, you just got to, you know, I’m never looking for misss. I’m out there looking for misses. So, if we are at an air one and you see me holding a stack of papers, come and bump into me.
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I miss playing though. I have a Tuesday game that I’m invited to every week.
1 hour, 36 minutes, 26 seconds
There’s never more than 15 people, so you never have to wait more than one game.
1 hour, 36 minutes, 30 seconds
And it’s all it’s all it’s just either comedy writers or uh or college athletes or retired professional athletes. It’s
1 hour, 36 minutes, 38 seconds
Oh, it’s a serious game. But usually they they match up with each like you know can match like depend skill match up with skill but there’s funny people we all you know the the athletes are
1 hour, 36 minutes, 46 seconds
feeling a little intimidated because there’s a lot of funny people the funny people are a little intimidated by this athlete and then you have me I’m I’m I’m the best of both worlds baby.
1 hour, 36 minutes, 53 seconds
Yeah athlete balling out. So how do you feel about this is something I’m running into? I grew up against playing against people really tall. So I had to be
1 hour, 37 minutes
really physical when I played getting a little push back. People have been like oh man you know you’re really throwing the body around. It’s like bro playing street ball. I still stand to it. It’s
1 hour, 37 minutes, 8 seconds
like I’m going to talk trash the whole time. If you come in the paint and you’re 6′ three, you’re going to get a stiff forearm. And it’s like it is what when I drive I have to I’ll lower the
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shoulder. It’s like so I’ve been dealing with that and you know I’m I’m I can’t water down the game. I’m I’m going to play the way I played. I understand their perspective.
1 hour, 37 minutes, 26 seconds
Mhm. While sharing yours.
1 hour, 37 minutes, 28 seconds
Do you know that people don’t want to come to the game when they know you’re coming? Why doesn’t anybody tell me that?
1 hour, 37 minutes, 33 seconds
Hit that moldy. Good tank you idiot. Get back.
1 hour, 37 minutes, 38 seconds
Did I do that? Whoopsies, [Β __Β ] I am also like, if we’re going to play, we’re going to play. There’s a difference between dirty, you know,
1 hour, 37 minutes, 46 seconds
someone gets past you on a layup and you push them in the back. Like none of that.
1 hour, 37 minutes, 49 seconds
No, but like physical and you’re bodying people up and you’re playing the game the way you’re supposed to play the game.
1 hour, 37 minutes, 53 seconds
Set a pick. I’m running through it. You can set a pick. I’m not going to be like, “Oh, that’s a pick. I I’ll run right through it.” You know what I do? Uh uh I do if if I’m
1 hour, 38 minutes
setting a pick um I will I will I’m setting a pick and I will even if my offend the my teammate doesn’t call it I’ll I’ll still say coming right.
1 hour, 38 minutes, 9 seconds
I’ll let them know just they don’t if they don’t because I don’t want them to have to you want to blindside them.
1 hour, 38 minutes, 13 seconds
Yeah. I I like I’ll communicate a little bit but still yeah I’m I’ll talk the ball.
1 hour, 38 minutes, 18 seconds
I because the the the instincts are you don’t want to wait. That’s my instincts.
1 hour, 38 minutes, 23 seconds
I played I’m thinking like college basketball not college for the team. the rec center type things where when you lose you have to wait five games and it takes forever. Yeah.
1 hour, 38 minutes, 32 seconds
Yeah. And you win and you and you talk [Β __Β ] and Yeah. I got kicked out of a basketball game because of talking [Β __Β ] and and uh uh and playing too physical
1 hour, 38 minutes, 41 seconds
and it like was the inciting incident like a huge change in my life really. it like I I learned I became into a lot of self-awareness because
1 hour, 38 minutes, 49 seconds
competitive basically competitive and annoying you know and like just you know talking [Β __Β ] to comedy writers that were just trying to like play and run around
1 hour, 38 minutes, 57 seconds
get away from the family for 3 hours you know see I’m not like mean about it I just like when people are shooting I yell to like kind of throw their stuff off stuff like that like every every single tool
1 hour, 39 minutes, 5 seconds
possible. What if you’re on What if you’re on a a threeonone fast a twoon one fast break and a guy constantly uh
1 hour, 39 minutes, 13 seconds
is pulling up. He’s in front. Uh he’s in front with a ball. I’m trailing. I’m coming behind and he’ll stop and hit the
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shoot the three and it’s a two on like Yeah. It’s like drive to the Yeah.
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And also like there’s a point where I remember I’m thinking one particular time cuz this happened and he missed three in a row and not in a row but three not in a row but over the day over
1 hour, 39 minutes, 32 seconds
the day. And each time it was it was twoon-one and uh on on the on the fourth one before he did before he even had the opportunity I I said uh uh um I said pass the [Β __Β ] ball.
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Yeah.
1 hour, 39 minutes, 43 seconds
Like I think that’s fair to be fair. I think that’s totally fair. Yeah.
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I think it all depends up how it depends on how you grew up playing though cuz it’s like that if someone did that I’d be like yeah that makes perfect sense.
1 hour, 39 minutes, 53 seconds
I didn’t grow up playing on a two in one fast break unless you’re [Β __Β ] Steph Curry that you’re going to pull up. What are you doing? It’s a guaranteed bucket.
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I know. It’s literally guaranteed. you know, we we’re going it’s that’s kind of crazy, but I would get I would get I would get uh people would be mad about that.
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I also would be I would like I don’t need to be trig like I would be triggered. Like there are times I’m like, “What the [Β __Β ] are you doing?” Yeah, I could see why that would be a little You know, I wasn’t always saying that,
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but that was the attitude, but I think it was more so the the the talking [Β __Β ] See, I’m having fun. That’s the thing.
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Like, I’m having fun the whole time. I’m [Β __Β ] around. I’m always hyping people up like, “Good shot. Take that, you know, blah blah blah.” But I do when people go to do like the three-pointer
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and I’m like a little far away. I’ll do that thing where you run up and you drop your head like you’re about and people are just kind of like careful careful if you mess up once you can never do it again.
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But it’s what it’s funny cuz you see them flinch while shooting and it’s it’s just that’s a I reserve the right to pull that move out of the toolbox.
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People I think they see that and they’re like yeah I’m it dep I just if I don’t know you and I don’t know that like like when
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people are shooting and get up in their face maybe different game point but still probably not like I’m I want to make sure you don’t land on my ankles when you land. Like I’m I’m careful with that kind of stuff.
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Game point, I’m fouling you. If you’re laying it up, game point, I’m fing you. That’s just that.
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Game point. We’re not talking game point.
1 hour, 41 minutes, 5 seconds
Okay. The whole time. Yeah. And that’s the thing. I won’t I won’t like I’ve seen guys who will just like grab your whole arm. Like I actually try to go for the ball.
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But it’s like, you know, if I’m driving and you step up, I’m I’m jumping. It’s like I’m not going to be like, “Oh, no.” It’s like I’m This is all I have. I’m not tall, so I’m going to use, you know,
1 hour, 41 minutes, 20 seconds
you can be tall and tap the ball and that’s fine. But if I use force, now all of a sudden it’s like legal force. Now all of a sudden I’m I’m the bad guy.
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It’s like, dude, I’m we’re both jumping in the air. Yeah, it’s basketball, baby.
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Yeah. So, uh I went to Kent State and uh it’s a D1 school. Uh and we would sometimes I would play with a I would like it to to
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play with a team and practice with them and a lot of times the football players would play like in the rec leagues, the football players were a team, you know, Antonio Gates, didn’t uh uh uh uh like
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big guys, Joshua Cribs, I don’t know much about football, but I feel like people know these names.
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Yeah. They’re just massive guys, athletes, and they play like football players.
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Yeah. Yeah. And it’s like I can’t I like I almost like if we’re playing pickup I say did you play football for more than two years? I don’t want to play with you. I was I was a football and rugby player.
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So that’s the thing. I do have a little bit but I played basketball my whole life but I do have a I do like the physical context.
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There’s a there’s a thing about a football player I I I I haven’t really articulated this before but I believe if
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you’re athletic just you know maybe you’ve never even done anything before. You didn’t even realize you were athletic. And then all of a sudden you find out that you have this strong sense of athleticism. You
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don’t know what to do. Just go play football. Yeah.
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In football there’s a if you’re athletic, there’s a place for you.
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Yeah. You can block people, you can hit them, you can do pretty much. And with that, you can validate it.
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That’s what it is. And then when you play basketball and you have the mindset of an athlete and you’re playing basketball and you’re able to dunk and you’re able to do all these things, there are especially competitive
1 hour, 42 minutes, 42 seconds
football players, they play in a way where I’m like, dude, that’s not how you play basketball. Too much. Yeah.
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Yeah. But one of my friends is really good at soccer and uh he’s from London.
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So he like never really played basketball. Was he was surprisingly really good because he would just full speed cut down the basket and it was it’s really funny to watch him play cuz
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he didn’t have like the technical skill but he would just be hustling so hard that he actually scored good amount of points. There’s one time I like threw
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him the ball. He caught it in the air cutting and just like flying away. Just threw it in and made it. It was like I was so happy. Yeah. Playing playing
1 hour, 43 minutes, 13 seconds
basketball with people that are athletic Mhm. gets me like going. Yeah. Like it it makes like let’s [Β __Β ] go.
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It feel like like I’m a warrior right now, you know? Like let’s do some [Β __Β ] I need once a month I got to play pick I’ve learned that that’s like something I need to do for myself. Like just go
1 hour, 43 minutes, 28 seconds
play pickup basketball once a month and just just go nuts.
1 hour, 43 minutes, 31 seconds
I want to I want to water that seed that you already planted. Get an indoor game.
1 hour, 43 minutes, 35 seconds
Yeah, we’re we’re so many reasons.
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We’re working on that cuz it’s it’s hard. It’s hard on the bod man. Playing on that cement basically.
1 hour, 43 minutes, 42 seconds
Also indoor hoops. You hear the some squeaks. hair squeaks shots are they’re going in a lot more. It’s It’s Yeah, I agree. I miss it. I used to play constantly.
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It’s so fun. It’s so fun talking [Β __Β ] It’s so fun boding people up. It’s fun winning. It’s fun losing and getting
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[Β __Β ] like feeling like that [Β __Β ]
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And also, you know, you know, it’s now it’s like just the the runaround.
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Getting that active is a win. And that’s why I always tell everyone. I’m like, “Dude, if you just run around, like, you know, I like to win and stay on the court, but if I lose, I’m still like if
1 hour, 44 minutes, 11 seconds
I were working there was no way I’m working out this hard.” So, like it’s it’s a win no matter what.
1 hour, 44 minutes, 15 seconds
I never thought about when I played ball how great of shape I was in. And like I didn’t do it for the exercise. And I do think that now like let me get my heart rate up, dude. It’s so I I work out and I have
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like my Apple Watch and I’ll like hard workout. I can work out for like an hour. I’ll burn like maybe 450 450
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calories is like pretty good. Played basketball for an hour and a half. Like literally two days ago I burned I had my watch on uh 1,090 calories. It’s not
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even close. Like you you don’t cuz you go so much harder.
1 hour, 44 minutes, 43 seconds
Yeah. Think about when you’re working out. How much sweat do you actually have? Yeah. Yeah.
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I have to change like I I I bring a different shirt. So when I get in my car, I have a different shirt after playing ball. Yeah.
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Dude, I’m getting the way you get hungry. I’m fired up. I’m telling you.
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I I am cuz I haven’t been playing a little bit. I haven’t been playing it for a bit. Yeah. And I feel like I’m ready to go back.
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It’ll come right back. Yeah. You’ll be surprised. It comes right back.
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I still do. I shoot around. Still shoot around.
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Nice. I I love uh my parents just sold their house, but we have a hoop at home and my dad still has a great shot and just just, you know, so many games of horse.
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Yeah. It’s just you just feel something.
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It’s I mean, well, when I’m when I come back here, I’ll let you know if the timing makes sense. I would love if you indoor game.
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Yeah, man. That’d be awesome. I Yeah, we’re I’m going to try to set it up.
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There’s a gym we can rent. So, I’m going to see if I can do it like once a month. Two hours.
1 hour, 45 minutes, 30 seconds
It’s you know, it’s meet a bunch of other 40-year-old guys. So I try I’ve been trying to sell them on like the once a week game, but I think people are kind of like, “Dude, I can’t I can’t handle it.” Huh.
1 hour, 45 minutes, 38 seconds
So, but they’re all Everyone’s 40 roughly. I think actually some of them are a couple years younger than me. So, would you guys mind if I played with you guys or that feel be awesome? Yeah. Anyone’s Anyone’s
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welcome. We had We have like different There’s people there that play different group, different ages. So, yeah, it’d be awesome.
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Also, you rent a court, you get three on three. True. Three on three would be nice, too. Half court, three on three.
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I love a threeon three. That could be two on two I like as well, but full court five on five is so nice. I like four on four full court’s nice if it’s a small court.
1 hour, 46 minutes, 6 seconds
Yeah, true.
1 hour, 46 minutes, 7 seconds
In fact, if it’s a small court, I don’t want to play five on five. Yeah.
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Like you know where the baseline is where the three-pointer is. Yeah. No. Yeah.
1 hour, 46 minutes, 14 seconds
And the half court like is just like it’s where Steph shoots from for real.
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That that was my that was my grade school gym was like to go back court you had to go to the other team’s foul line and that was back court because it was
1 hour, 46 minutes, 25 seconds
such a small court. But but yeah, I I do. Next time you’re here, I’ll definitely will try to coordinate it.
1 hour, 46 minutes, 30 seconds
I think I would like to play a threeon-ree game more than a like my cardio would not handle full court as much. Yeah.
1 hour, 46 minutes, 38 seconds
I think I would love to start playing some three on three.
1 hour, 46 minutes, 41 seconds
I think you’re right. You could play a lot more too cuz you just you waste so much dude running back and forth after like you sprint for the 10th time all the way back you’re just like you I’m
1 hour, 46 minutes, 51 seconds
like dead. I also think that when you’re getting to know if you’re playing with new people, you get to bond in three on three. Yeah.
1 hour, 46 minutes, 58 seconds
So much more because you’re either you’re you’re either on the ball, you’re looking to receive it, or you’re doing something off the ball. Yeah.
1 hour, 47 minutes, 4 seconds
Like you’re you’re you’re part of everything. And it’s not like get back on D. Like we’re here.
1 hour, 47 minutes, 8 seconds
You can fade away. Yeah. But also the full court I’ve noticed you get a lot of people kind of like hang back the whole time and you’re kind of like come on man, what are we even doing if that’s what we’re going to be doing here? It’s
1 hour, 47 minutes, 16 seconds
like it’s such a subculture of like I hate when people just shirt back, you Like there’s such a specific thing that you don’t like, you know?
1 hour, 47 minutes, 24 seconds
Yeah. Someone was doing it last game. I was kind of like I mean if Yeah, if you want to score points like that, that’s fine. But yeah, it was cool. Are you good?
1 hour, 47 minutes, 30 seconds
I’m all right. I’m like okay. I can like if I get hot I my my main thing I can I crash the boards a lot. I can kind of drive. I can lay it up and if I I like
1 hour, 47 minutes, 39 seconds
that like from the elbow just hitting that like you know 10footer and I can kind of catch the three too. But if I like if I get hot, I can start hitting threes, but mostly I’m like a mid-range jumper. Drive, rebound, defense.
1 hour, 47 minutes, 51 seconds
15 foot shot is is a superpower. Yeah, that’s I I like from the elbow.
1 hour, 47 minutes, 55 seconds
Right. Right from the elbow. Let me catch it off right off the pass. Put it up. That’s like my it’s my go-to.
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If uh you’re at if you’re at the top of the key, maybe right like you’re at the foul line and uh
1 hour, 48 minutes, 8 seconds
your defender is behind you, you catch the ball here, do you like to turn in and shoot at that point? I mean, if I I got to catch it open, then I’ll fire. If I if I have someone on me, I’ll drive probably.
1 hour, 48 minutes, 18 seconds
That’s when I’ll turn I’ll kind of go left, go right, and just try to drive it in. And then Are you comfortable finishing with your left?
1 hour, 48 minutes, 24 seconds
I can, but in a game, I’m probably going to go right for the most part, if I’m being honest.
1 hour, 48 minutes, 28 seconds
So, once a month, keep going with your right. If you get a weekly a bi-weekly game, uh I think you might be surprised.
1 hour, 48 minutes, 35 seconds
Yeah. How? Because I felt that years ago, but like it and also like real men finish with both hands.
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It’s true. You know what I’m saying? And if you miss with your left, it there’s honor in it.
1 hour, 48 minutes, 49 seconds
There there is honor in it. And it also I see when I’m like someone’s DMing me up, they’ll, you know, be like, “Give them the left.” And I’m like, I’ll start driving left. My left dribble is not great.
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But but also like it they’re on the inside of like Yeah. You know, you’re not going to get it’s true when you’re playing pickup.
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True. I’ll drive, jump, hold it down for a while and then then I’ll come up and that’s kind of like my that’s all I can do cuz I’m I’ll get swatted. I’m playing
1 hour, 49 minutes, 10 seconds
against people. You get a couple like 63 guys in there. They’re going to swat the ball. So, I have to like drive hold it down here in the last minute just pop it up.
1 hour, 49 minutes, 17 seconds
You know, it’ll be a a show that not that many people would watch, but I think it would be cool would be called Show Show Your Left. And if you’re right hand, if you’re left-handed, it’s your
1 hour, 49 minutes, 25 seconds
right, but you know your left where where it’s it’s uh um you’re allowed to play the game all you want, but you’re if you’re in the paint, you have to use
1 hour, 49 minutes, 33 seconds
your left and then you talk you talk about your insecurities about it. True.
1 hour, 49 minutes, 36 seconds
Talk about how you feel about it and be good like like the ultimate fighter kind of but just people just going left. But here’s the thing. Here’s the thing.
1 hour, 49 minutes, 43 seconds
Like if it’s you, you don’t get to tell people that this is what you’re doing. They don’t know. So you just keep doing left and if you keep missing layups and how it makes you feel and you
1 hour, 49 minutes, 51 seconds
realize, oh maybe it’s not that bad and you’ll get better.
1 hour, 49 minutes, 54 seconds
I can I can lay up with my left. I just don’t pra I got to practice it. That’s the thing. So you show up the it’s game day, you’re like, “Dude, I’m I’m just going all I’m going hard as I can.”
1 hour, 50 minutes, 2 seconds
So when I first started being able to dunk and I would dunk and people didn’t know me, the reaction I would get like, “Oh, that was really cool. I like that.” That’s first. Yeah.
1 hour, 50 minutes, 10 seconds
But not too far away. At least these days when I finish with my left and you hear somebody goes, “Buddy’s got a left.” Like, dude, that’s really nice.
1 hour, 50 minutes, 18 seconds
Actually, I could approach like I’m confident right now. Buddy’s got a left.
1 hour, 50 minutes, 23 seconds
Yeah. And it does open it up a lot in the post cuz now they’re like if you know anything like if I take his right away, it’s kind of screwed. They’re most That’s what I’m saying. Now you got a better Now you got a better rate.
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Finish. It’s like when you go to prison, I hear beat somebody up or like [Β __Β ] somebody or get [Β __Β ] or like, you know, do their taxes. Do the
1 hour, 50 minutes, 39 seconds
warden’s taxes. However you got to do it, whatever it might be. I feel like finish with your left so they’ll never just Now now you got an easier time with your
1 hour, 50 minutes, 47 seconds
right because buddy, there’s nothing I like more than going right. Yeah, true. I mean, obviously it’s nice.
1 hour, 50 minutes, 51 seconds
Imagine somebody thinking you’re left-handed and they lead you right.
1 hour, 50 minutes, 55 seconds
They have no idea. Yeah, that’s I was driving left a lot and I was feeling pretty like full speed driving dribbling left-handed. I was like really pushing that to the limit and then you like miss
1 hour, 51 minutes, 4 seconds
dribble and you’re like [Β __Β ] Yeah, I hear you.
1 hour, 51 minutes, 6 seconds
I’m going to go I’ll probably go practice today after this. Just run up and down left hand dribble full speed.
1 hour, 51 minutes, 10 seconds
Yeah. So, well, I’m glad we talked about this, dude. Absolutely.
1 hour, 51 minutes, 13 seconds
Um, I know I already said it, uh, but sincerely, I think you’re so so funny and I’ve been wanting to have you on and this is cool,
1 hour, 51 minutes, 20 seconds
dude. Thank you. I agree. I’ve been looking forward to this since we talked.
1 hour, 51 minutes, 23 seconds
I love the idea that we might be buddies and when I’m here, if we could play ball together, I would love to do that. I That would be awesome. All right. Well, any anything you want to plug?
1 hour, 51 minutes, 31 seconds
Yeah, I’ll be uh I’ll be in Chicago. I just had I was just talking about this. I’ll be in Chicago May 16th, I believe. Where?
1 hour, 51 minutes, 38 seconds
That is uh what is it called? the Riviera Theater maybe. Let me see. Let me let me Do you still play comedy clubs?
1 hour, 51 minutes, 44 seconds
I will. Yeah, I’ll still do uh I’m like doing this I’m doing like a small theater tour right now to see like which ones are theater markets and whatever doesn’t like sell out. That’s going to be my comedy club market going forward.
1 hour, 51 minutes, 54 seconds
So yeah, I love doing clubs. Honestly, I do like one show and done. That is kind of nice. But I’ll be at the Riviera Theater Chicago May 16th. So that’s the last show on this leg of my tour.
1 hour, 52 minutes, 4 seconds
Do you like one show and go because you have a family or did you always feel that way?
1 hour, 52 minutes, 8 seconds
Pretty much that. No, it’s cuz I can get home. I can sleep better and I can, you know what I mean? When you do clubs, you do the late show, I don’t go to bed till like 2 2 in the morning. I know.
1 hour, 52 minutes, 16 seconds
So, but I still like the nice thing about clubs is when you do like five shows and then you just feel like really sharp.
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But the theater’s nice cuz I’m done at like 9:00.
1 hour, 52 minutes, 24 seconds
Yeah. Sal s volcano sometimes will do shows uh six o’clock shows so we could catch a flight to get home after. That’s the best. That’s the best.
1 hour, 52 minutes, 32 seconds
Yeah, that’s cool. I do like being at a place I don’t have a family unfortunately at the moment. um carrying my papers, but uh I do like Yeah. doing
1 hour, 52 minutes, 42 seconds
it and then like more I have like access to a great gym. I feel that way. Yeah, that’s true.
1 hour, 52 minutes, 47 seconds
Um but to be able to do a theater and then sell it well and go home and then just you could do a few theaters. Yeah.
1 hour, 52 minutes, 53 seconds
That just feels like so far away from what I’m doing.
1 hour, 52 minutes, 56 seconds
Yeah. I mean it’s all you do you do one then you drive to like a nearby city.
1 hour, 52 minutes, 59 seconds
But I No, I love clubs, man. I did a club recently. I did the mothership recently and I got to do like just five shows in three days and I was like [Β __Β ] you live here. That’s That’s got to be [Β __Β ] awesome.
1 hour, 53 minutes, 8 seconds
That was really sweet. But it’s I still, you know, cuz I was just doing clubs all summer. I I still kind of love it. In clubs, it’s like you’re It’s It’s just like I don’t know. I love them.
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I’ve never headlined a theater. I’ve done theaters a fair amount when I’m like going on my friends shows. So, it’s different because they’re not there to see me, but every time I’ve done a
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theater, I’ve been like it doesn’t I don’t Maybe I get used to it. Maybe it’s different if they’re there to see me, but it just feels sterile.
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No, I mean it’s clubs are fun because there’s just so much going on, but theaters are just I don’t know. I like It’s all fun, honestly. you know, if you’re as long as you’re having fun
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performing and like, you know, once you get the it’s nice because there’s so many people, so when you get a big laugh, you’re like, “Wow, you really feel it.” But like I think with with with the theaters I’ve noticed is they’re further away from me and I can’t see as many faces.
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Yeah, that’s the thing. I like when they’re right here.
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It’s different. It’s just you doing your material pretty much. Where a club you’re there’s so many things going on. It’s like it’s kind of fun.
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Um All right, dude. Thanks for having me on, man. I’m pumped. Uh I want to get a picture with you and then we’ll uh we’ll call it.
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All right. The music.
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