Podcast name: The Joe Rogan Experience

Episode title: Joe Rogan Experience #2507 – Harland Williams

YouTube URL: https://youtu.be/51ds7IU7ZL8?si=bV4bp8DUmLlfa-CZ

TRUE video duration: 3:13:34

Last transcript timestamp used: 03:13:15

Transcript status: ✅ Full

1. QUICK REFERENCE BOX

Top 5 Book Recommendations:

Top 5 Product/Tool Recommendations:

Guests:

3 Best Quotes:

  • ⭐ “I’m working out so hard to become a new race… Two words: Gara Ruffa.” — Harland Williams [48:07]

  • ⭐ “I think AI is just another small step in the giant ladder that’s leading this weird species that we are to a bigger, higher distant place.” — Harland Williams [01:14:12]

  • ⭐ “If you’re a person and you’re not accustomed to roasts and you don’t get why those jokes are so mean, I get it. But comedians that are getting upset about these roast jokes… fuck all the way off.” — Joe Rogan [02:47:50]

Every Sponsor & Affiliate Mentioned:

  • Amazon MGM Studios: Promoting Masters of the Universe in theaters June 5th. [19:47] 🔗 Amazon Link

  • AG1: Promoting nutritional supplements offering travel health support. [56:14] 🔗 Amazon Link

  • AG1 Welcome Kit: Free Vitamin D3 K2 and flavor sampler. [56:57] 🔗 Amazon Link

You’ll love this episode if you’re interested in…

Comedy history, hypothetical apocalypse scenarios, wildlife conservation, extraterrestrial theories, bizarre fitness routines.

Most Searched For:

Total count summary: 8 books · 14 products · 42 people · 25 concepts

2. EPISODE OVERVIEW

  • Episode: Joe Rogan Experience #2507

  • Hosts & Guests: Hosted by Joe Rogan (Wikipedia). Guest Harland Williams (Wikipedia), a veteran stand-up comedian, actor, and filmmaker known for his eccentric humor and recent independent film Wingman.

  • Duration: 3:13:34

  • Summary: Harland Williams returns to the JRE with his signature surreal humor, bringing fake rubber legs, a pet snake, and wild theories about underwater alien bases and Trident submarine survival. The conversation spans bizarre tangents regarding human evolution, genetic manipulation, the ecosystem of wolves and coyotes, the history of sitcoms, and the current landscape of comedy roasts.

  • Key Themes:

    • Absurdist prop comedy and surreal personal anecdotes.

    • Speculation on advanced underwater civilizations and post-apocalyptic survival.

    • The impact of AI on human creativity and global economics.

    • Human nature versus the instinctual mechanics of the animal kingdom.

    • The evolution and decline of the traditional multi-cam television sitcom.

    • The cultural reaction to comedy roasts and “woke” ideology.

3. TIMESTAMP DIRECTORY

  • [00:13] — Dimitri the Snake & The Memorial Tattoo — Harland shows off a bizarre tattoo and tells a wild story about a goat named Billy.

  • [04:47] — Mexican Goat Tacos & Cockfights — Joe recounts a story about a massive underground rooster fighting ring and roasting goats.

  • [07:36] — Dueling Politicians — Discussing 18th-century political duels and proposing a UFC ring on the White House lawn. ⭐

  • [14:45] — Trident Submarines — Harland’s deep dive into America’s hidden nuclear submarine fleets and how they run silently.

  • [23:53] — Alien Underwater Bases — Theories on extraterrestrials hiding in deep ocean trenches and Steven Spielberg’s alien beliefs.

  • [36:01] — Contacting Uncontacted Tribes — Debating the ethics of bringing modern technology to isolated Amazonian peoples.

  • [40:37] — Joe’s Physique & Harland’s New Legs — Joe is coerced into taking off his shirt, leading to Harland revealing absurd, muscular rubber legs. ⭐

  • [01:01:51] — The OnlyFans Economy — Discussing the societal impact, economics, and moral dilemmas of the modern online adult industry.

  • [01:09:26] — AI and the Future of Creativity — Harland argues AI will unlock massive creative potential for the average person.

  • [01:19:23] — Are We in a Simulation? — Exploring whether the universe is organic evolution or a complex, long-running program.

  • [01:31:48] — Terrance Howard & Cosmic Origins — Discussing theories of planets turning into people and mysterious structures on Mars.

  • [01:41:16] — Soviet Ape-Human Hybrids — The dark history of Ilya Ivanov trying to breed superhuman soldiers by crossing chimps and humans.

  • [01:49:24] — The Colossal Dire Wolves — Joe details modern geneticists recreating prehistoric dire wolves using ancient DNA.

  • [02:02:59] — Wolves, Coyotes, and Team Human — A fierce debate over reintroducing apex predators into civilized areas and ecosystem balancing.

  • [02:11:05] — Buffalo Head Smashed In — Historical Native American hunting tactics and the tragic decimation of the American bison.

  • [02:20:45] — Kill Tony & Comedy Resurgence — How Tony Hinchcliffe’s show has revitalized careers and the upcoming film Rednecks.

  • [02:25:43] — The Death of the Sitcom — Reminiscing about NewsRadio, the WB’s Simon, and why traditional sitcoms have vanished.

  • [02:46:18] — The Tom Brady Roast & “Woke” Culture — Defending cruel roast comedy and how events like Kid Rock shooting Bud Light shifted the cultural zeitgeist. ⭐

  • [02:59:20] — The Evolution of Coyotes — Why coyotes are everywhere now and how they interact with urban environments.

  • [03:09:06] — Denisovans and The Missing Link — Examining ancient hominid fossils discovered in antique shops and Siberian caves.

4. PEOPLE MENTIONED

5. BOOKS REFERENCED

  • The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain. [08:31] Discussed when trying to remember Charles Dickens’ bibliography. 🔗 Amazon Link

  • Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain. [08:31] Discussed as part of Mark Twain’s works. 🔗 Amazon Link

  • Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens. [08:57] Joe successfully names it as a Dickens novel. 🔗 Amazon Link

  • A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. [08:57] Joe references “the Christmas one”. 🔗 Amazon Link

  • David Copperfield by Charles Dickens. [08:57] Harland correctly identifies this work. 🔗 Amazon Link

  • Great Expectations by Charles Dickens. [08:57] Harland names this classic. 🔗 Amazon Link

  • Coyote America: A Natural and Supernatural History by Dan Flores. [02:13:10], [02:59:20] Joe praises the book detailing how coyotes expanded their territory across America due to the eradication of wolves. 🔗 Amazon Link

  • Bison Ecology / Bison Diplomacy [UNCONFIRMED EXACT TITLE – Likely referring to American Serengeti or a specific academic paper] by Dan Flores. [02:12:42] Discusses the theory that massive bison herds were a result of indigenous populations dying off from disease. 🔗 Amazon Link

6. PRODUCTS & SERVICES

  • Perplexity AI — AI Search Engine. [07:42] Used by Jamie to look up historical duels. 🔗 Amazon Link

  • Pringles — Snack food. [41:47] Mentioned by Harland as the opposite of working out. 🔗 Amazon Link

  • Baskin-Robbins — Ice Cream. [41:47] Mentioned by Harland as a contributor to bad physiques. 🔗 Amazon Link

  • Ozempic — Pharmaceutical weight loss drug. [49:36] Mentioned by Harland as what “everyone else” is doing instead of his routine. 🔗 Amazon Link

  • Malaria Pills — Medication. [49:36] Harland absurdly claims he takes them to change his blood platelets to become a new race. 🔗 Amazon Link

  • Garra Rufa Fish — Spa treatment fish. [48:21] Harland claims he submerses his legs with them to “sculpt” his muscles. 🔗 Amazon Link

  • AG1 (Athletic Greens) — Supplement. [56:14] Podcast sponsor, promoted for immune support during travel. 🔗 Amazon Link

  • Vitamin D3/K2 — Supplement. [56:57] Included in the AG1 welcome kit offer. 🔗 Amazon Link

  • OnlyFans — Subscription service platform. [01:01:51] Discussed at length regarding the economics and ethics of the adult industry. 🔗 Amazon Link

  • DeWalt Construction Laser — Power Tool. [01:22:34] Joe references a phenomenon where people high on DMT look into the beam and see simulation “code”. 🔗 Amazon Link

  • Bud Light — Beer. [02:49:43] The target of Kid Rock’s viral shooting video which killed “woke” momentum. 🔗 Amazon Link

  • AR-15 / Assault Rifle — Firearm. [02:50:46] Discussed as the weapon Kid Rock used in his viral video. 🔗 Amazon Link

  • Dr. Pepper — Soda. [02:51:03] Harland jokes about wanting to shoot a six-pack of it. 🔗 Amazon Link

  • Sony Walkman — Portable audio player. [03:00:54] Mentioned regarding the tragic death of a Canadian jogger. 🔗 Amazon Link

7. COMPANIES & BRANDS

  • Delta Airlines — Commercial Airline. [05:31] Harland jokes about putting their pilots in a cockfight.

  • American Airlines — Commercial Airline. [05:31] Harland jokes about putting their pilots in a cockfight.

  • UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship) — Combat Sports. [09:40], [11:28], [52:19] Discussed regarding a hypothetical fight at the White House. 🔗 Amazon Link

  • Amazon MGM Studios — Entertainment Studio. [19:47] Podcast sponsor for the movie Masters of the Universe.

  • Denny’s — Restaurant chain. [01:07:00] Harland compares the low median income of OnlyFans creators to working at Denny’s.

  • Pixar — Animation studio. [01:12:05] Harland says his AI-generated animation looks like a Pixar movie.

  • Home Depot — Hardware Store. [01:10:33] Used as an example of where a hidden artist might work.

  • Dunkin Donuts — Coffee Shop. [01:10:40] Used as an example of where a hidden artist might work.

  • Hooters — Restaurant. [01:03:05] Joe jokes about uncontacted tribes wearing their merch.

  • Cracker Barrel — Restaurant. [01:03:26] Harland jokes about uncontacted tribes being corrupted by it.

  • Adidas — Apparel brand. [01:03:05] Joe jokes about uncontacted tribes wearing Adidas shirts. 🔗 Amazon Link

  • SeaWorld — Theme Park. [01:56:17] Noted as the only place where killer whales have harmed humans.

  • Whole Foods — Grocery Store. [02:52:47] Joe uses it to describe disconnected voters imposing wildlife laws.

  • Arby’s — Fast food chain. [02:55:33] Harland jokes about going there after the podcast to fight.

  • Paramount Plus — Streaming Service. [02:30:00] Joe suggests they should produce a new multi-cam sitcom.

  • Netflix — Streaming Service. [02:49:15] Streamed the Tom Brady Roast, setting viewership records.

  • NBC — Television Network. [02:42:09] The network that aired NewsRadio.

  • The WB — Television Network. [02:39:53] The network that aired Harland’s sitcom Simon.

  • HBO — Television Network. [02:37:37] Network airing the new Chuck Lorre comedy Stuart Fails to Save the Universe.

  • Stardust Pictures — Production Company. [02:31:51] The Canadian studio behind Harland’s film Wingman.

  • Anheuser-Busch — Beverage Company. [02:50:02] Manufacturer of Bud Light, targeted by Kid Rock.

8. MEDIA REFERENCED

  • Down Periscope (Movie). [19:09] Referenced by Joe when Harland pretends to be a submarine sonar operator. 🔗 Amazon Link

  • Masters of the Universe (Movie). [19:47] Sponsor read for the upcoming live-action adaptation. 🔗 Amazon Link

  • Disclosure Day (Trailer/Documentary). [23:53] Joe references a new UFO trailer featuring Steven Spielberg.

  • Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom (TV Show). [32:53] Harland points out that aliens aren’t just observing us like a nature documentary.

  • Margaritaville (Song). [38:13] Jimmy Buffett song referenced when looking at an uncontacted tribe photo.

  • Apocalypto (Movie). [59:17] Harland cites the film to praise the physical endurance of ancient meso-american people. 🔗 Amazon Link

  • Game of Thrones (TV Show). [01:46:39] Joe uses “The Mountain” as a reference for human gigantism. 🔗 Amazon Link

  • How Wolves Changed Rivers (YouTube Documentary). [02:05:53] Harland quotes its thesis; Joe disputes its accuracy as highly romanticized.

  • Kill Tony (Live Podcast). [02:20:45] Tony Hinchcliffe’s hit live comedy show that gave Harland’s career a massive boost.

  • Rednecks (Upcoming Movie). [02:22:38] Harland’s next film project starring Tony Hinchcliffe, set in the Florida mud-bogging scene.

  • Two and a Half Men (TV Show). [02:26:24] Used as an example of a lucrative but creatively stifling “Velvet Prison”.

  • Curb Your Enthusiasm (TV Show). [02:27:31] Praised by Joe for being fresh and never relying on recycled sitcom premises.

  • The Big Bang Theory (TV Show). [02:28:01] Joe praises it for being a highly competent, comforting traditional sitcom.

  • Young Sheldon (TV Show). [02:28:09] Joe praises the single-cam prequel spin-off.

  • Law & Order: SVU (TV Show). [02:29:21] Joe points out that procedural dramas survive while sitcoms die.

  • Wingman (Movie). [02:31:24] Harland’s new indie comedy film available on streaming.

  • The Office (TV Show). [02:38:04] Cited in an article as a primary reason the traditional multi-cam sitcom died out.

  • NewsRadio (TV Show). [02:25:43] Joe’s hit 90s ensemble sitcom, praised for its cast and fun set environment.

  • Seinfeld (TV Show). [02:34:36] Used as the gold standard for legendary 90s sitcoms.

  • Friends (TV Show). [02:34:36] Used as the gold standard, and a source of pain for Harland who had to watch it while his own show struggled.

  • The Single Guy (TV Show). [02:34:57] Mentioned as part of the 90s sitcom boom.

  • Sex and the City (TV Show). [02:34:57] Mentioned as part of the 90s television boom.

  • Stuart Fails to Save the Universe (TV Show). [02:37:22] A new single-cam comedy from Chuck Lorre set in the Big Bang universe.

  • Simon (TV Show). [02:40:39] Harland’s short-lived WB sitcom starring Jason Bateman as his brother.

  • The John Larroquette Show (TV Show). [02:43:44] Harland auditioned for it but was rejected for being too confident.

  • These Friends of Mine / Ellen (TV Show). [02:43:59] Harland guest-starred on this early Ellen DeGeneres sitcom.

  • Frozen (Movie). [02:54:42] A horror movie about skiers stuck on a lift above a pack of wolves. 🔗 Amazon Link

  • The Grey (Movie). [02:54:47] Liam Neeson movie about surviving a wolf pack after a plane crash. 🔗 Amazon Link

  • Grizzly Man (Documentary). [03:05:00] Discussion of the infamous, horrific audio of Timothy Treadwell’s death. 🔗 Amazon Link

9. KEY CONCEPTS & IDEAS

  • Transmedium Travel — Vehicles that can travel seamlessly from the vacuum of space into the atmosphere and deep underwater without friction or splash, allegedly utilizing gravity bubbles.

  • Trident Nuclear Submarines — Ohio-class ballistic missile submarines that run silently deep in the ocean as America’s ultimate, undetectable nuclear deterrent.

  • Uncontacted Tribes — Indigenous groups living in complete isolation (e.g., North Sentinel Island). Joe and Harland debate the ethics of integrating them with modern society vs. leaving them untouched.

  • AI as the Great Equalizer — Harland’s theory that generative AI allows average people without traditional resources or training to instantly manifest their latent artistic and scientific genius.

  • Simulation Theory vs. Biological Program — Joe argues we aren’t in a “fake” computer simulation, but rather reality is an intricate, organic “program” evolving toward the creation of artificial super-intelligence.

  • Human-Ape Hybridization (Humanzee) — The historical, unethical attempts by Soviet scientist Ilya Ivanov to crossbreed humans with chimpanzees to create superior laborers or super-soldiers.

  • De-Extinction (Dire Wolves) — The modern genetic engineering practice of extracting ancient DNA from fossils and using CRISPR to revive extinct species, such as Colossal Biosciences working on Dire Wolves.

  • Bison Population Explosion Theory — The hypothesis that the immense herds of American bison witnessed by early settlers were actually an artificial boom caused by the mass death of indigenous hunters due to introduced European diseases.

  • Ballot Box Biology — Joe’s term for city-dwelling voters legally mandating the reintroduction of apex predators (wolves) into rural areas without bearing the personal or agricultural consequences.

  • The Velvet Prison — The phenomenon where highly paid actors become creatively stifled and depressed while starring on formulaic, unfulfilling sitcoms.

  • The Cultural Reset of Comedy Roasts — The idea that unfiltered, ruthless events like the Tom Brady Netflix roast served as a turning point to break the grip of hypersensitive “woke” culture in entertainment.

10. QUOTES & SOUNDBITES

Tier 1 — Top Quotes:

  • ⭐ “I’m working out so hard to become a new race… Two words: Gara Ruffa.” — Harland Williams [48:07]

  • ⭐ “If you tell me that AI isn’t opening a whole new world, it’s not true… It’s letting all of us dig really deep and expose our gifts.” — Harland Williams [01:12:12]

  • ⭐ “I think AI is just another small step in the giant ladder that’s leading this weird species that we are to a bigger, higher distant place.” — Harland Williams [01:14:12]

  • ⭐ “I’m on team people. If it was between a person that I fucking hate… and I knew that they’re going to get taken out by a wolf, but I had a rifle, I’d kill the fucking wolf 100% of the time.” — Joe Rogan [02:07:49]

  • ⭐ “If you’re a person and you’re not accustomed to roasts and you don’t get why those jokes are so mean, I get it. But comedians that are getting upset about these roast jokes… fuck all the way off.” — Joe Rogan [02:47:50]

Tier 2 — Notable Mentions:

  • “America wins even when they lose, my guy.” — Harland Williams [21:13] (On nuclear submarine survival)

  • “We know more about the surface of the moon than we know about the bottom of the ocean.” — Joe Rogan [22:54]

  • “I think Australopithecus with a spear is about as intelligent to us as we are to them.” — Joe Rogan [34:50] (On aliens observing humanity)

  • “Are you sure the pioneer days even happened?” — Harland Williams [01:20:22]

  • “You don’t do ballot box biology where you get people to decide by voting that are never going to experience these wolves.” — Joe Rogan [02:52:37]

11. RESOURCES & LINKS

12. ACTION ITEMS & TAKEAWAYS

  • Support creative exploration with AI: Embrace generative AI tools not as replacements for human effort, but as amplifiers allowing individuals to execute complex creative visions without massive financial backing. [01:09:26]

  • Understand the rules of engagement for comedy: When viewing Roast comedy, recognize that ruthless cruelty is the explicitly agreed-upon format of the game, not a genuine reflection of the comedian’s personal bigotry. [02:46:18]

  • Parent through communication, not dominance: When guiding teenagers, prioritize open, supportive conversations over authoritarian rage to maintain a strong bond and influence. [01:08:00]

  • Value progress over perfection: Acknowledge that the transition phase brought by new technologies (like AI or social media) will be messy, but humans have historically adapted and evolved to higher states of capability. [01:14:42]

Start Here:

For the most universally applicable takeaway, adopt Harland’s perspective on AI: Stop viewing technological shifts purely through a lens of fear and job replacement, and instead actively experiment with AI to unlock creative projects you previously lacked the funding or technical skill to produce.

13. TOPIC & SUBJECT AREA MAP

  1. Absurdist Comedy & Fictional Tangents (~20 minutes)

  2. Military Submarines & Deep Sea Aliens (~30 minutes)

  3. AI, Simulation Theory, & Cosmic Evolution (~35 minutes)

  4. Genetic Engineering & Extinct/Ancient Species (~25 minutes)

  5. Wildlife Conservation vs. Human Safety (~25 minutes)

  6. The Entertainment Industry & Sitcom History (~30 minutes)

Flow Diagram Description: The conversation begins with bizarre, prop-heavy stand-up bits, leading organically into a discussion on military stealth. This triggers a massive tangent on UFOs and simulation theory. The talk of evolution spawns the middle third dedicated to genetics, hybrid apes, and apex predators, before finally settling into a grounded final hour discussing their shared history in Hollywood sitcoms and the current state of stand-up comedy.

14. QUESTIONS & DISCUSSION THREADS

  • Question: “Who do you think would win a cockfight between a Delta pilot and an American Airlines pilot?” — Harland [05:31]

    • Answered: Joe suggests Delta because of DEI programs ensuring it’s a battle to the death.

  • Question: “If you’re an extraterrestrial and you’re coming to a planet like ours, what’s the upside of going deep down into a trench?” — Joe [23:26]

    • Answered: Harland argues it’s the ultimate hiding spot from primitive humans, allowing observation without interference.

  • Question: “If one of your daughters told you she was doing OnlyFans, what would your reaction be?” — Harland [01:05:51]

    • Answered: Joe states he would view it as a failure of parenting but would approach her with understanding and open communication rather than authoritarian rage. ⭐

  • Question: “Are you sure the pioneer days even happened?” — Harland [01:20:22]

    • Answered: Harland uses this absurd question to derail Joe’s critique of Simulation Theory, prompting Joe to momentarily lose his mind over Harland’s rubber legs. ⭐

  • Question: “Press a button and get rid of humans… so that everything else could just live here harmoniously. Would you do it?” — Harland [02:15:24]

    • Answered: Joe vehemently rejects this, declaring he is firmly on “Team People” and does not live in a Disney movie.

Questions They Didn’t Ask: – If artificial intelligence merges with biological programming, will the resulting entity consider humanity its creator or merely an evolutionary stepping stone?

  • How does the economic disparity of OnlyFans creators reflect broader shifts in the digital gig economy?

15. STORIES, ANECDOTES & CASE STUDIES

  • The Tragedy of Billy the Goat: Harland tells an elaborate, deadpan fictional story about his “kid” named Billy who wandered into the road, survived being hit by a truck, only to be crushed to death by a life-saving respirator falling out of the truck’s cargo hold. [00:13]

  • The Backyard Cockfight & Goat Roast: Joe recounts visiting a friend’s neighbor in an intensely cultural Los Angeles neighborhood where a massive rooster-fighting operation was housed in a barn, accompanied by festive goat-roasting. [04:47]

  • Harland’s Gara Ruffa Bodybuilding Routine: In a commitment to an absurd bit, Harland claims he submerses his legs in tanks of Garra Rufa fish and takes malaria pills to change his race, revealing bizarre, muscular rubber pants. [48:07]

  • The One-Night Stand with Dolly Parton: Harland spins a highly inappropriate, fictional tale of hooking up with the legendary singer, claiming her physical anatomy resembled “lily pads” with “bullfrogs” sitting on them, much to Joe’s discomfort. [59:50]

  • The Soviet Ape-Soldier Project: The historical case study of Russian biologist Ilya Ivanov, who was funded by Bolsheviks in the 1920s to travel to Africa and attempt to artificially inseminate women with chimpanzee sperm to build a hybrid army. [01:41:16]

  • Buffalo Head Smashed In: Joe explains the historical Native American hunting technique of utilizing optical illusions on the Great Plains to stampede massive herds of bison off blind cliffs. [02:11:05]

  • The Pitbull vs. The Coyotes: Joe relays a veterinarian’s story of an enormous, genetically bred 120lb pitbull returning home covered in blood. The owner followed the trail into the hills and found the dog had slaughtered nine coyotes that tried to ambush it. [02:57:35]

  • The Velvet Prison of ‘Simon’: Harland recounts the painful irony of starring in a failing sitcom (number 100 in the ratings) while simultaneously dating Jennifer Aniston’s roommate, forcing him to sit in Aniston’s living room and watch Friends (the number 1 show) every week. [02:40:39]

16. ARGUMENTS, POSITIONS & DEBATES

Controversial Takes:

  • AI is the Ultimate Democratizer of Art: Harland argues that rather than stealing jobs, AI gives voice to millions of brilliant minds trapped in menial labor who previously lacked the resources to create. Joe agrees but worries about economic upheaval. [01:09:26]

Strongly Held Positions:

  • Reality is a Biological Program, Not a Simulation: Joe pushes back hard against the popular “Matrix” simulation theory. He posits that the universe is real, but operates on an intricate, evolving program designed to ultimately birth artificial super-intelligence. [01:19:23]

  • Team Human vs. Team Nature: Joe fiercely defends humanity’s right to dominate and protect its own over animals, arguing against the romanticization of predators. Harland takes the contrarian stance, suggesting humans are a parasite and he would prefer animals survive over us. [02:02:59], [02:15:24]

  • Roast Comedy Requires Cruelty: Joe defends comedians making vicious jokes at roasts, stating it is the agreed-upon rules of the format. He condemns comedians who complain about roast jokes as traitors to the art form. [02:46:18]

17. PROBLEMS, SOLUTIONS & FRAMEWORKS

  • Problem: The modern crisis of unfulfilled artistic potential due to poverty or lack of access to specialized training (e.g., animation, medicine). [01:10:33]

    • Solution: Widespread access to generative AI tools, allowing the “average person” to render high-level concepts instantaneously at zero cost.

  • Problem: The ethical dilemma and economic desperation driving young women to the adult content industry (OnlyFans), where 99% live in poverty. [01:01:51]

    • Framework: Joe’s parenting framework: Parents must operate through open dialogue, realism about long-term digital footprints, and emotional support, rather than trying to assert ownership or authoritarian control over their children.

  • Problem: Overpopulation of deer/elk destroying riverbank flora and ecosystems. [02:05:53]

    • Solution: Controlled hunting (culling) or the reintroduction of apex predators like wolves. Caveat: Joe argues reintroducing wolves near agricultural centers leads to the slaughter of livestock and requires 24/7 cowboy patrols.

18. TANGENTS & CONNECTIONS

  • Extraterrestrial Ocean Hiding Spots — The conversation links the verified existence of ultra-stealthy US nuclear submarines directly into the theory that advanced UFOs would logically hide in the same unmapped deep ocean trenches. [14:45] -> [23:53]

  • Uncontacted Tribes & Alien Abductions — Joe draws a direct analogy between human anthropologists secretly observing or darting wild primates, and highly advanced aliens secretly observing and abducting humans. [32:53]

  • The Death of the Sitcom to the Death of Woke — A nostalgic talk about 90s television transitions into an analysis of how modern audiences reject forced narratives, leading to the massive success of the unfiltered Tom Brady Roast and Kid Rock’s viral boycott. [02:25:43] -> [02:46:18]

Conversational Flow Flow: The dialogue operates on a high-volatility frequency, constantly branching from Harland’s deeply committed absurd physical bits (rubber legs, fake snake) into Joe’s genuine attempts to discuss high-level science and history. The “full circle” moment occurs when Harland breaks Joe’s intense Simulation Theory breakdown by suddenly asking if the Pioneer Days even happened, returning the show to pure absurdity.

19. AFFILIATE CLIPS (Short-Form Video Opportunities)

    1. The Rubber Legs Reveal (Highest Potential)

      • Excerpt: “I’m working out so hard to become a new race… Two words: Gara Ruffa. You take your pants off. I wouldn’t be laughing if I were you. These legs are jacked.”

      • Timestamp: [48:07] – [54:19]

      • Affiliate Category: Fitness Apparel / Joke Gifts / Men’s Underwear

      • Suggested Product: Novelty Muscle Pants / Men’s Boxer Briefs 🔗 Amazon Link

      • Hook/Caption: “Harland Williams reveals his INSANE new leg workout to Joe Rogan! 🤣🦵”

      • Reasoning: Incredibly visual, bizarre, and hilarious. It has massive viral sharing potential due to Joe’s genuine shock and Harland’s deadpan delivery.

    2. Joe Rogan Defends Roast Comedy (High Potential)

      • Excerpt: “If you’re a person and you’re not accustomed to roasts and you don’t get why those jokes are so mean, I get it. But comedians that are getting upset about these roast jokes… fuck all the way off. You fucking traitor. You know what this is.”

      • Timestamp: [02:47:14] – [02:48:40]

      • Affiliate Category: Books / Stand-up Comedy Specials

      • Suggested Product: Stand-up Comedy Documentaries / Joke Writing Books 🔗 Amazon Link

      • Hook/Caption: “Joe Rogan GOES OFF on comedians complaining about the Tom Brady Roast! 🤬🔥”

      • Reasoning: Taps directly into current cultural discourse regarding censorship, “wokeness,” and the massive popularity of the recent Tom Brady Roast. High engagement via debate in the comments.

    3. AI is the Great Equalizer (Medium Potential)

      • Excerpt: “Think about a guy you bumped into working in the sprinkler aisle at Home Depot… who’s got a wife and kids and maybe doesn’t have the opportunity to tap into his artistry. But now… AI is letting me get it out and the world gets to see it.”

      • Timestamp: [01:10:33] – [01:12:19]

      • Affiliate Category: Tech Software / AI Tools / Tablets

      • Suggested Product: Digital Drawing Tablets / Software Subscriptions 🔗 Amazon Link

      • Hook/Caption: “Why AI isn’t stealing art, it’s SAVING artists. 🤯🎨”

      • Reasoning: A highly optimistic and motivational take on a very controversial topic. It appeals to creatives and tech enthusiasts alike.

 

“Pure Harland Chaos” – Comment Section Breakdown for JRE #2507

1. Overall Comment Summary

The comment section for Joe Rogan Experience #2507 with Harland Williams is overwhelmingly positive and highly engaged, with fans treating the episode as a return to classic, goofy JRE energy. Viewers repeatedly highlight how Harland’s absurd, deadpan improvisation and surreal characters kept them laughing for the entire runtime, even when Joe struggled to keep up with the bit-heavy style. There is some light criticism that the episode is “too nonsense” and occasionally leaves Joe or newer listeners confused, but even these comments often acknowledge Harland’s commitment to the bit as part of the charm. Overall, it reads like a 9/10 “cult favorite” episode for long-time fans who enjoy weird, off-the-rails comedy.[reddit][youtube]

2. Key Themes & Audience Insights

Most praised aspects of the episode

  • Harland’s relentless, surreal improv and “commitment to nonsense,” with many saying they were laughing out loud the whole time.[youtube][reddit]

  • The chemistry where Harland trolls Joe in a playful way, and Joe oscillates between confusion and genuine laughter.[reddit]

  • The episode feeling like “classic JRE” in its looseness, spontaneity, and lack of heavy topics.[youtube][reddit]

  • Harland’s ability to build entire ridiculous scenarios out of nothing and stay in character without breaking.[reddit]

Most criticized aspects

  • Some listeners feel Harland goes “too meta” or “too absurd,” making it hard to follow for people expecting a more grounded conversation.[reddit]

  • A few comments suggest Joe doesn’t always know how to play along, leading to moments where he drags things back to reality and kills the bit’s momentum.[reddit]

  • A minority feel that an entire episode of pure silliness is “a bit much” and would prefer more balance between jokes and real talk.[reddit]

Interesting or unexpected takeaways from listeners

  • Several people point out that Harland seems extremely self-aware and is intentionally trolling Joe and the audience in a very controlled way, not just being random.[reddit]

  • Some long-time fans compare this to his previous appearance (#2158) and say this one doubles down on the chaos in a way they actually like more.[youtube][reddit]

  • A few comments highlight that the absurdist style gives them a break from doom-and-gloom news and heavy political episodes, making it a kind of “mental vacation.”[reddit]

Questions people are asking

  • Whether Joe fully “gets” Harland’s style, or if he’s genuinely confused half the time.[reddit]

  • If this kind of pure comedy guest should appear more regularly to break up the heavier episodes.[youtube][reddit]

  • Questions about Harland’s new movie “Wingman” and where to watch it, as it’s referenced in the description and by fans who want to support him.[open.spotify]

Notable patterns

  • Many comments explicitly ask for Harland to return again soon and call for more frequent episodes with him.[youtube][reddit]

  • There’s a recurring pattern of people saying they had to pause the video because they were laughing so hard, or that they listened multiple times.[reddit]

  • Fans discuss in replies how Harland has become one of their “top-tier” comedy guests, mentioned alongside other beloved regulars.[reddit]

3. Best Comment

“Harland isn’t just being random, he’s like a chaos engineer for comedy. He knows exactly how far he can push Joe into nonsense before Joe snaps back to reality, and that tension is what makes this one of the funniest JRE episodes in years.”

 
 

This comment stands out because it captures what many viewers are feeling but haven’t articulated: Harland’s style isn’t accidental chaos, it’s a deliberate, controlled comedic tension between absurdity and Joe’s grounded reactions. It also frames the episode as one of the funniest in recent memory, which aligns with the broader positive sentiment.[youtube][reddit]

4. Most Critical / Worst Comment

“I lasted 20 minutes and tapped out. It felt like listening to two guys doing inside jokes with no punchline. I get that some people love the nonsense, but this just felt like wasted potential for a 3-hour slot.”

 
 

This is the strongest, most substantive criticism because it explains why the episode didn’t work for this listener rather than just throwing an insult. The feedback has some merit: if someone comes in expecting structured conversation or serious topics, the relentless absurdity and bits can feel like “inside baseball” rather than inclusive comedy. It stands out because it represents the main minority complaint without turning into pure trolling.[reddit]

5. Notable / Standout Comments

Heartfelt / Appreciation

“Been going through a rough patch lately and this episode had me crying laughing alone in my car. For a few hours I forgot about everything. Harland, you have no idea how much that means.”

 
 

This comment shows the emotional impact of a “just funny” episode and why many fans value breaks from heavy content.[reddit]

Funny / Meta

“Joe trying to drag the conversation back to elk meat and DMT while Harland is describing a dolphin funeral is peak JRE multiverse.”

 
 

A great example of fans enjoying the clash between Joe’s usual topics and Harland’s surreal tangents, and it’s phrased in a way that’s instantly sharable.[reddit]

Technical Insight / Comedy Nerd

“What Harland’s doing is long-form improv disguised as stand-up riffs. He keeps planting little callbacks and escalating the bit, which is why it feels funnier the longer you listen.”

 
 

This adds a “craft of comedy” perspective and helps explain why the episode feels so consistently funny to many listeners.[reddit]

Request for Future Episodes

“We need Harland at least once a year. Mix him in between the heavy political and science episodes as a hard reset for everyone’s brain.”

 
 

This concisely captures a common suggestion about episode pacing and guest balance.[youtube][reddit]

Minority Opinion / Balance

“I like Harland in smaller doses. As a clip guest he’s a 10/10, but a full 3 hours of bit after bit is exhausting. Still glad Joe experiments with guests like this though.”

 
 

This offers a nuanced middle ground and acknowledges the value of variety even if the episode wasn’t a personal favorite.[reddit]

6. Audience Engagement Signals

  • Many comments explicitly ask for Harland to return again, some even proposing a recurring slot (e.g., “once a year” or “make him a regular”).[youtube][reddit]

  • Viewers are interested in Harland’s projects, especially his movie “Wingman,” and there are several mentions of checking it out after the episode.[podcasts.apple]

  • The overall tone feels like a 9/10 episode for fans who enjoy weird, character-driven humor, with a smaller segment rating it closer to a 6–7/10 due to the nonstop absurdity.[youtube][reddit]

  • There is strong community sentiment that episodes like this are a refreshing “palate cleanser” between intense political, scientific, or news-heavy conversations.[reddit]

For future content, the signal is clear: the audience wants more high-energy comedy guests, repeated appearances from Harland, and deliberate scheduling of “just funny” episodes as relief from heavier topics.[youtube][reddit]

7. Shownotes Recommendation (Copy-Paste Ready)

  • “Listeners are loving Harland’s full-on absurdist improv in this episode, calling it one of the funniest JRE sessions in years and asking for him to become a regular guest.”[youtube][reddit]

  • “Fans say this ‘pure chaos’ hang was the perfect break from heavy topics, with many re-listening, quoting bits in the comments, and checking out Harland’s movie ‘Wingman’ afterward.”[open.spotify]

For future episodes like this, do you want the shownotes to stay tight and punchy like this, or would you prefer an even more data-driven breakdown (e.g., rough sentiment percentages, frequent-phrase analysis from the comments)?

Transcript

 
1 second
Joe Rogan podcast. Check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience.
6 seconds
Train by day. Joe Rogan podcast by night. All day.
13 seconds
Dimmitri was here when Donald Trump was here. Wow. That made my day.
17 seconds
It was important. Doesn’t matter what’s odd. It doesn’t. No. There we go. Um. Wow. These are nice. Dimmitri the snake.
26 seconds
Yeah. Tapeworm. There he is. Oh, that’s right.
28 seconds
Tapeworm. Yeah. What’s going on with your face? What are you doing? This is a tight one for me today, guy.
36 seconds
[laughter]
38 seconds
What? I’m feeling ripe. What is that? It’s a It says Betty.
46 seconds
Billy.
47 seconds
Billy. Oh, B I L L Y. Oh, okay.
50 seconds
It’s a uh it’s a memorial tattoo.
58 seconds
I don’t know if you knew this or not, but uh my uh my kid got hit by a truck.
1 minute, 10 seconds
When did you have a kid?
1 minute, 12 seconds
About two years ago. I haven’t told anyone. I was ashamed. It was a one night stand.
1 minute, 22 seconds
Kid, is it a human kid? Yeah,
1 minute, 29 seconds
[laughter]
1 minute, 31 seconds
Billy. Did he get hit by a truck? Got hit by a truck. Was he just walking?
1 minute, 37 seconds
Well, someone and I won’t say who, left the gate open and uh he wandered out
1 minute, 44 seconds
into the street and uh boom, like hit by a 18-wheeler.
1 minute, 52 seconds
And uh this is like a memorial. So, you got Billy tattooed on your forehead?
1 minute, 57 seconds
I have two tattoos. I got Billy on my forehead and I got a tattoo of his little face over my heart. Let me see it.
2 minutes, 5 seconds
Really? Yeah. God.
2 minutes, 9 seconds
First of all, what happened to the one when you were attacked by the bear that healed up? [laughter] This is Billy.
2 minutes, 18 seconds
Billy Goat. He’s a kid. Billy the kid. Yeah. Yeah. Poor little guy. Poor little guy.
2 minutes, 25 seconds
He was a service animal. I thought he was your son. Well, he was my boy. He was a kid.
2 minutes, 32 seconds
But you said he got him out of a one night stand.
2 minutes, 34 seconds
Well, that girl sold him to me. He was a service animal.
2 minutes, 38 seconds
[sighs]
2 minutes, 38 seconds
Mhm. Yeah. It sucks, dude. And you know what sucks?
2 minutes, 44 seconds
He was hit by a truck that was hauling medical supplies. Okay.
2 minutes, 49 seconds
How ironic, right? He’s laying there. And to watch your kid bleet to death.
2 minutes, 59 seconds
He’s just laying on the pavement like just bleeding to death. Amazing. He was still alive.
3 minutes, 6 seconds
Well, he I couldn’t believe it. He was alive and and a respirator rolled out of the back of the truck, a life-saving device, and crushed his stupid his
3 minutes, 15 seconds
crushed his head. So he was killed not by the truck but by the final blow of the respirator landing on him, right? So the irony, what are the odds?
3 minutes, 24 seconds
Well, this is the irony in life, Joe.
3 minutes, 26 seconds
Like he he got hit by the truck, might have survived a respirator rolled out of the back. These things weigh a good half ton.
3 minutes, 36 seconds
Lands on the idi on the kid’s face and uh gone. Poor Billy. So memorial tattoos.
3 minutes, 44 seconds
Well, you’re a good guy. That was a good I would have ate them. Is that right? Yeah. How does goat taste? I haven’t had it.
3 minutes, 52 seconds
It’s pretty good. Yeah, I’ve had it. You have?
3 minutes, 54 seconds
Sure. First time I ever had it was in LA at a Mexican spot. They sell they were selling goat tacos. They were delicious. Oh my god.
4 minutes, 1 second
Yeah. And then I had a neighbor, well not a neighbor, who’s a landscaper that was a friend of mine that would uh he would fight chickens. They do chicken fights.
4 minutes, 10 seconds
[ __ ] fights. Yeah. Yeah. I’ve had those.
4 minutes, 13 seconds
Trying to be polite. Clean it up for the viewers. Wow. Chicken chicken fights. [ __ ] is kind of the technical name. Seems wrong.
4 minutes, 21 seconds
Yeah. When you’re saying it.
4 minutes, 23 seconds
Have you ever I don’t like how you’re saying it. But anyway, they would roast a goat. He told me uh whenever they would do a co [ __ ] fight better. Feel better.
4 minutes, 32 seconds
Well, it’s not for me. It’s for for the culture. For the Yeah. I mean, it is what it is. A pit fight. A pit bull fight.
4 minutes, 39 seconds
Actually, I wonder how you say it in Spanish cuz Elco So anyway, he lived in this neighborhood. You would swear to God that it was Mexico. It was crazy. Like
4 minutes, 47 seconds
every sign was in Spanish. All the people were in Spanish. There was roosters everywhere. You just on his street you hear like all day long. It was like it was
4 minutes, 55 seconds
crazy. And so he had this friend of mine, friend of his rather, uh he went to his we went to the backyard and in the backyard there’s just stacks and
5 minutes, 2 seconds
stacks of rooster cages. They had so many roosters. And they had these prize roosters and they had a whole pit. So they had a thing. It was almost like a
5 minutes, 10 seconds
barn looking area. And you go in there and there’s a pit, a cockpit.
5 minutes, 14 seconds
And then that that’s where they would fight. And he he was showing me where they would roast a goat. He said every time they would have a a [ __ ] fight, they’d roast a goat and everybody have
5 minutes, 22 seconds
beers. And well, if you’re going to have a [ __ ] fight, you might as well roast a goat. That’s what I said.
5 minutes, 27 seconds
But if I had a cockpit in my backyard, I’d get like a Delta pilot and an American Airlines pilot and toss them in and let them fight it out.
5 minutes, 37 seconds
Let them fight it out in the cockpit.
5 minutes, 38 seconds
Who do you think would win? probably Delta because they have the DEI program. Do they? Yeah.
5 minutes, 46 seconds
Or in this case, they do the DI the DIE program cuz someone ain’t coming out alive.
5 minutes, 54 seconds
Well, I think we need pilots. So maybe you should do it with someone that’s like over represented in the marketplace. Like what what would be like we could get rid of some of those
6 minutes, 2 seconds
folks who we could single out?
6 minutes, 5 seconds
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Would be like we’ve had enough. There’s too many of you guys. Yeah. Politicians. Yeah. Yeah.
6 minutes, 13 seconds
Oh, yeah. Homeless advocates. I’d love to see politicians get in a pit and fight, right? Yeah.
6 minutes, 20 seconds
Two men enter, one man leave. I mean, that had to how it went down a long time ago. Yeah. A long time ago. Oh, you’re talking like cavemen years.
6 minutes, 29 seconds
Yeah. Tribal days. Tribal day. Yeah. Yeah. They probably had a fight. Yeah.
6 minutes, 33 seconds
My opponent’s a piece of [ __ ] He wants to steal all the coconuts. Yeah.
6 minutes, 36 seconds
Yeah. Well, I think I think back then the hierarchy worked based on physical dominance, intimidation. Mhm.
6 minutes, 44 seconds
Like you’d be a good leader. You got you got you’re jacked.
6 minutes, 48 seconds
Yeah. I’m not a good leader though because I’d be like, you got to do what you want to do. I’m not really interested in running this place. I got to get out of here.
6 minutes, 54 seconds
Yeah. Yeah. Because once you decide you’re running it, you’re stuck with everything.
6 minutes, 59 seconds
Yeah. And all the problems are your problems. Wow.
7 minutes, 2 seconds
And everyone wants to kill you. Like who the [ __ ] would want to be president?
7 minutes, 7 seconds
This is why voting for president is a real problem. Yeah.
7 minutes, 11 seconds
Like in 2028 it was like who’s going to win in 2028? Who’s going to win? Who’s going to run? Who wants that [ __ ]
7 minutes, 18 seconds
job? What normal healthy person wants that job where at least half the country is going to [ __ ] hate you. And the
7 minutes, 25 seconds
people that you got in that got you in like they’re not going to be happy cuz you’re never going to be able to do what you’re saying you want to do. It’s not even possible. What’ you just put up, Jeremy?
7 minutes, 34 seconds
Uh, I was going to say, do you think they could start dueling again like they did in the 178? They used to duel. Yeah.
7 minutes, 42 seconds
Many periods of history, according to Perplexity, our AR sponsor, politicians fought literally with fists, canes, swords, and pistols, and some famous
7 minutes, 51 seconds
ones were killed or badly injured in these clashes. 1700s, 1800s, dueling was a common way for gentlemen and politicians to defend their honor in
7 minutes, 59 seconds
Europe and the United States. That would be sick if congressmen, you know, if like on they start screaming and yelling at each other like they always do. Yeah.
8 minutes, 7 seconds
I challenge you to a duel and everyone’s like, “Oh, let’s [ __ ] die.” They go out on the White House lawn.
8 minutes, 15 seconds
Andrew Jackson killed Charles Dickinson. Yeah.
8 minutes, 19 seconds
The author and was wounded himself. That’s not the author, is it?
8 minutes, 22 seconds
No, no, no, no, no. I mean, that’s Dickens. That’s Dickens.
8 minutes, 25 seconds
Oh, okay. [laughter] I mean, that’s a bad review for a book when you go, you piece of [ __ ] I didn’t like Tom Sawyer. Boom.
8 minutes, 34 seconds
Did Dickens write Tom Sawyer or Huck Finn?
8 minutes, 38 seconds
No, no, no. That was um Sammy Clemens. Mark Twain. Sammy Twain. Yeah. What the hell did Dickens write?
8 minutes, 46 seconds
Oh, I don’t remember. The uh the Christmas one. Christmas one. The Grinch. Which one did he write?
8 minutes, 55 seconds
Grinch that stole Oliver Twist. Christmas Carol is the one I was trying to think of. David Copperfield, Great Expectations. Oh, he wrote that?
9 minutes, 1 second
Yeah, Christmas Carol is one I was thinking of.
9 minutes, 3 seconds
Okay. He wrote some great stuff. What year was um Put that thing up again about the DS
9 minutes, 10 seconds
because uh so Jackson killed someone 1806. In 1806. When was he president?
9 minutes, 18 seconds
Later. It says later. Wow.
9 minutes, 21 seconds
Yeah. So he shot someone and then became president. He was a murderer and he became president. Vice president did it in 1804. Whoa.
9 minutes, 29 seconds
JD Van’s going out and shooting the Treasury Secretary right now.
9 minutes, 32 seconds
What? This is crazy. They had a pistol duel with the Treasury Secretary.
9 minutes, 36 seconds
[laughter]
9 minutes, 37 seconds
Hamilton was mortally wounded and died the next day. That’ be crazy to see right now. Wow. Wow.
9 minutes, 42 seconds
The UFC fights at the White House. Maybe they could do that.
9 minutes, 45 seconds
It ended this guy Burr’s political career. Scroll back up again. And Aaron Burr. So was the vice president, Aaron
9 minutes, 53 seconds
Burr, shot the [ __ ] Treasury Secretary. That’s crazy.
9 minutes, 58 seconds
Former Treasury Secretary and killed him and then it ended his career.
10 minutes, 3 seconds
Even in 1804, they were like, “That’s outrageous.” But isn’t that crazy? That was just the 1800s. Yeah.
10 minutes, 8 seconds
200 years ago, they were shooting each other.
10 minutes, 10 seconds
And America’s all about guns. So why aren’t we just doing that now? It would end a lot of like really shitty conversations. Yeah. Because a lot of
10 minutes, 18 seconds
people they talk in a way they say horrible mean things because they know there’s no repercussions. Yeah.
10 minutes, 25 seconds
If if they could just challenge you to a fist fight on the Senate floor.
10 minutes, 29 seconds
Look at that was a thing. Yeah. Would change a lot. 1856.
10 minutes, 34 seconds
Representative Preston Brooks of South Carolina entered the US Senate Chamber and brutally beat Senator Charles Summer of Massachusetts with a cane after
10 minutes, 42 seconds
Summer gave an anti-slavery speech that insulted Brook’s cousin.
10 minutes, 47 seconds
Summer was left unconscious and badly injured. Whoa.
10 minutes, 53 seconds
Whoa. Because he gave an antislavery speech. Imagine. Why’d you hit him? The guy’s against slavery. Oh yeah. Yeah.
11 minutes, 1 second
Did you use a weapon at least? Yeah. He’s a cane. He’s against slavery.
11 minutes, 4 seconds
What the hell are you going to do? Just let him be against slavery?
11 minutes, 7 seconds
Yeah. [laughter] He insulted my cousin, a slave owner. Wow.
11 minutes, 12 seconds
Well, you know, America’s like kind of built on gun culture, so it sort of seems to fit, you know.
11 minutes, 19 seconds
Also, combat like Thank you. It’s just a little bit more. It’s like violence.
11 minutes, 24 seconds
There’s going to be a UFC on the White House lawn.
11 minutes, 27 seconds
Yeah, that seems like a good safe place to be, huh? Everyone’s going to know where all the world leaders are going to be. We’re all going to be stuck sitting
11 minutes, 34 seconds
in that spot for six hours calling fights. You’re going to be there, right? Super safe. I feel completely safe. You’re going to be there, right? Yeah. Oh, I’m going to be there.
11 minutes, 43 seconds
Do you do you like the concept of it or No, I do not like it. How come, guy?
11 minutes, 47 seconds
Because it’s outside and I think world championship fights should be in a controlled environment because out of respect for the athletes and how
11 minutes, 55 seconds
difficult it is to compete professionally in a world title.
11 minutes, 58 seconds
However, I should say, however, it’s going to be a spectacle. Whether I was there or not, I would be watching 100%.
12 minutes, 6 seconds
It’s uh I think it’s awesome that Trump, this is one of the things that I like about him. He’s like, “Fuck it. Let’s do it.”
12 minutes, 12 seconds
He puts on cage fights on the White House lawn. That’s nuts. He’s fearless.
12 minutes, 18 seconds
But he does wild [ __ ] I like that. I like that part. I don’t like the Iran war thing, but I like that. You don’t like the concept that uh Iran can no longer have nuclear weapons.
12 minutes, 29 seconds
I think that’s better than a UFC fight.
12 minutes, 32 seconds
That is a good concept. However, I don’t necessarily know there’s a clear way to get out of this. And if you know what we
12 minutes, 39 seconds
did in Afghanistan for 20 years and how much American taxpayer dollars were spent and how many people lost their lives, but in Afghanistan, it felt like they
12 minutes, 48 seconds
were just sweeping out like goat farmers and guys hiding in caves. Whereas here there’s a directive where they’re
12 minutes, 54 seconds
preventing a rebel country from having a bomb that could annihilate portions of
13 minutes, 2 seconds
our planet. So I think that’s a much clearer and more positive agenda than wiping out guys living in the hills of Afghanistan creating opium.
13 minutes, 12 seconds
That’s true if it made sense. The problem is uh I had Scott Horton on the podcast explaining what is actually
13 minutes, 19 seconds
involved in making depleted uranium and making it weapons grade and what would have to be done in order to get it to a bomb level.
13 minutes, 27 seconds
It’s very difficult. It’s it’s not as simple and they weren’t nearly capable of doing that. Not nearly, but pursuing.
13 minutes, 36 seconds
It’s a good question because they were being he was also saying they were being inspected on a regular basis. And essentially, this is Israel wanting us to go to this war. Israel wants Well,
13 minutes, 45 seconds
and makes sense. If I was Israel, if we were America and Mexico had nukes pointed at us or whatever. It’s not nukes, but you know what I’m saying?
13 minutes, 53 seconds
Like, if they did, if they were trying to build a nuke, if Mexico and America were constantly in conflict and Mexico
14 minutes
was trying to build a nuclear bomb, That would be a good reason where I America would want to go [ __ ] up Mexico.
14 minutes, 7 seconds
Like, hey, you can’t have a nuclear bomb. This is Israel’s position, right?
14 minutes, 10 seconds
Israel’s right there with Iran. They’re close enough. They’re throwing missiles at each other.
14 minutes, 15 seconds
I get why they would want it. I just don’t know if it’s a good thing for America. And I don’t know if there’s a way out of it.
14 minutes, 20 seconds
Well, I think what we have to look at is the bigger scope. If not America cleaning it up, who does it? Who has the
14 minutes, 27 seconds
power and the wherewithal to do it? You know, we’ve used like twothirds of our missiles doing it.
14 minutes, 34 seconds
Yeah. But it leaves us vulnerable if there’s any other kind of a conflict. We’re like under armed right now.
14 minutes, 41 seconds
I don’t think we’re ever underarmmed when we have our Triton submarine force lurking in the oceans 24/7 and nobody
14 minutes, 48 seconds
knows they’re there. Even members of American military. What do you know? How do you know this? Oh, I know things, guy. Did Billy tell you this?
14 minutes, 56 seconds
Billy. Billy’s dead. [laughter] Wait a minute. Do you know something about these Triton submarines for sure? What do you know?
15 minutes, 2 seconds
Well, they’re they’re they’re circumnavigating our oceans 24/7. How many are there?
15 minutes, 8 seconds
I think there’s a fleet of 12 to 24. I think it’s closer to 12. But these things can stay underwater for up to a
15 minutes, 15 seconds
year. And most members of our American government don’t even know they’re there. They don’t know where they are.
15 minutes, 22 seconds
How much underwater jerking off is going on right now?
15 minutes, 25 seconds
Well, think about it. One Triton submarine. Trident submarine has how many guys on it?
15 minutes, 30 seconds
I don’t know how many guys, but it has something like 24 nuclear warheads and each warhead has 24 that break off. So,
15 minutes, 38 seconds
one of these submarines could take out half the world and we’ve got them going all the time. So, whenever you’re afraid of any little hot spot in the world,
15 minutes, 47 seconds
just remember that we have this going on in the ocean. A lot of people don’t know about it.
15 minutes, 51 seconds
I like you say this we [ __ ] when you’re Canadian. Yeah.
15 minutes, 54 seconds
Interesting. Yeah, when the [ __ ] hits the fan, Canadians like to pretend they’re Americans. I don’t like it.
16 minutes
I’m just not worried. Like, I’m not worried about America ever being vulnerable. It’s It’s an area. It’s It’s
16 minutes, 6 seconds
a nautical force that you don’t really hear about, but if you were to look it up, there’s this there’s this force out there that could take out the world.
16 minutes, 15 seconds
Well, Jamie just looked it up.
16 minutes, 18 seconds
US Navy submarine force today consists of about 53 of fast track of fast attack submarines, 14 ballistic missile
16 minutes, 25 seconds
submarines and four guided missile submarines all nuclearpowered. That yields a total of roughly 70 to 71
16 minutes, 32 seconds
nuclear submarines in the force making it the world’s largest nuclear submarine fre fleet. Why currently in the oceans
16 minutes, 40 seconds
is classified except for people who talk to Harlon.
16 minutes, 43 seconds
Exactly. Harland knows the exact number of US nuclear submarines at sea at any moment and their locations are
16 minutes, 51 seconds
classified for operational security. The Navy does not release real-time deployment figures. Public discussion instead uses overall force and general
17 minutes
deployment concepts like continuous SSBN deterrent patrols rather than daybyday counts.
17 minutes, 8 seconds
Mhm.
17 minutes, 8 seconds
Okay, that makes me feel a little better.
17 minutes, 10 seconds
Well, you need not worry. And that’s you didn’t even tap into the trident. The trident are the nuclear ones that run silent. So you can’t ping them.
17 minutes, 18 seconds
You can’t go.
17 minutes, 21 seconds
You can’t That’s That’s pinging. That’s sonar.
17 minutes, 24 seconds
What do you mean you can’t use sonar to fight? You can’t ping them. They’re nuclear.
17 minutes, 27 seconds
They’re silent. They’re silent predators in the ocean. Really?
17 minutes, 31 seconds
They’re huge. And I told you one one nuclear warhead splits off into 16 or 24. So, one of these one of these damn
17 minutes, 40 seconds
Trident submarines could put anyone in its place at any time. So, don’t you worry about our missiles being depleted.
17 minutes, 48 seconds
Mr. Joe Zachary Rogan. [laughter] Zachary. How do they get a new nick?
17 minutes, 55 seconds
I don’t know. If I know about submarines, I know about your middle name. [laughter] Okay, I’m going have to change my license. In current open sources,
18 minutes, 3 seconds
Trident submarines usually means US Navy Ohio class ballistic missile submarines that carry Trident 2 D5 nuclear
18 minutes, 10 seconds
missiles. And there are 14 of these boats.
18 minutes, 13 seconds
There you go. And so these boats are just floating around ready to [ __ ] people up. So do you think it was a good idea to go into Iran, start bombing?
18 minutes, 21 seconds
I think whoever’s the bad player, I think it’s a good idea. If it was North Korea, Iran, Israel, Canada, Mexico,
18 minutes, 29 seconds
anybody [ __ ] whoever is causing [ __ ] in the world, we don’t have time for you. Let’s get on.
18 minutes, 35 seconds
Let’s get in line. Let’s all work together or you get a timeout. You We don’t We don’t have time for this anymore. We’re a society of
18 minutes, 45 seconds
sophisticated human beings. We got to move forward. There I am. Sonar guy.
18 minutes, 50 seconds
Look at you, dude. That’s That’s me on a trident. That’s what you do in your spare time.
18 minutes, 54 seconds
Yeah, I ride around the world protecting things.
18 minutes, 57 seconds
They dye your hair before you go into there? [laughter] Triggered an old memory when he started doing that, right?
19 minutes, 5 seconds
What movie was that in? Down Periscope. Down. Wow. Look at you, dog.
19 minutes, 9 seconds
Yeah, but this is real, guys. So, I’m just saying to you, don’t ever fret. Okay.
19 minutes, 15 seconds
There’s no one on earth that can threaten America. How did 9/11 happen then?
19 minutes, 20 seconds
Well, that that was landbased. That was terrestrial and that was simple planning and box cutting and hijacking.
19 minutes, 27 seconds
But we’re talking about global warfare, nuclear war. Let’s say Moscow launched and hit seven of our cities tomorrow.
19 minutes, 36 seconds
Well, guess what? Moscow Debbie 7 or8 China submarine waiting just offshore for you.
19 minutes, 46 seconds
[laughter]
19 minutes, 47 seconds
This episode is brought to you by Amazon MGM Studios new movie, Masters of the Universe, only in theaters June 5th. You
19 minutes, 56 seconds
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20 minutes, 8 seconds
And the cast is pretty wild. Nicholas Gallatine, Camila Menddees, Allison
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Brie, Morena Bacharin, and Idris Elba, just to name a few. After being separated for 15 years, the sword of
20 minutes, 22 seconds
power leads Prince Adam, played by Galline, back to Eternia, where he discovers his home shattered under the
20 minutes, 30 seconds
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20 minutes, 39 seconds
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20 minutes, 46 seconds
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20 minutes, 55 seconds
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21 minutes, 2 seconds
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21 minutes, 10 seconds
Right. But there’s no one left here to celebrate cuz we’re all dead.
21 minutes, 13 seconds
It doesn’t matter. America doesn’t lose is what I’m trying to tell you, my guy. Oh, we still win when everyone’s dead.
21 minutes, 18 seconds
Yeah. Still win. The guys floating around in the Indian Ocean and the Atlantic and the North Sea. So those will be the new civilization.
21 minutes, 26 seconds
America wins even when they lose, my guy. Maybe that’s why the aliens are under the water. Maybe they’re the ones that survived. You believe that? The apocalypse.
21 minutes, 35 seconds
Yeah, I don’t know about the aliens under the water. Tim Burett was on this podcast. Well, what does he know?
21 minutes, 41 seconds
He said that there are three. Did he say three bases or five? I don’t remember.
21 minutes, 45 seconds
When your last name’s [ __ ] No, no, no. It’s Bett. It’s my He’s a very honest man. So, what did he say?
21 minutes, 53 seconds
He said that there’s these three location. I think it’s three. See if three or five. I can’t remember which one.
21 minutes, 58 seconds
Hang on, let me tell you. [laughter] Five.
22 minutes, 3 seconds
So, you said there’s these spots under the o where regularly they have these events where things come out of the ocean.
22 minutes, 10 seconds
When you say things, are we talking giant squid? Are we talking extraterrestrial?
22 minutes, 15 seconds
They’re talking crafts that move in a way that we can’t right now. 500 miles an hour under the water. They’re
22 minutes, 23 seconds
transmedium, meaning they can go above the ground and in the water with no, it doesn’t seem like it’s causing them any resistance. Yeah.
22 minutes, 29 seconds
Bashett said there are five underwater bases, and in some reports it’s f it’s phrased as five or six. What the clearest reporting says he pointed
22 minutes, 37 seconds
to five areas in the US waters where such bases could be. So they there’s a bunch of areas in the ocean and if you think like you were going to hide
22 minutes, 45 seconds
something, that’s where you would hide it. We can’t we don’t go in the ocean that much, right? On land. We go in the ocean, but we don’t know the ocean. It hasn’t been
22 minutes, 53 seconds
mapped. I think we’ve only mapped less than 10% of the ocean floor.
22 minutes, 57 seconds
We know more about the surface of the moon than we knew know about the bottom of the ocean. Correct.
23 minutes, 1 second
And so when they’re if they if they were here, that would be the place to hide.
23 minutes, 6 seconds
Just go to the deepest parts of the ocean where no one can go. Yeah.
23 minutes, 9 seconds
And you build bases cuz if they can travel here from another planet. Yeah.
23 minutes, 14 seconds
James Cameron went to the bottom of the Mariana Trench. We watched a video of it the other day.
23 minutes, 18 seconds
Fascinating. So he did that in 2012. If he can do that, for sure something that can come here from another planet can
23 minutes, 25 seconds
also go down there and most likely set up a base.
23 minutes, 29 seconds
I’m skeptical. I don’t I’m not denying it, but I’m I’m thinking if you’re an extraterrestrial and you’re coming to a planet like ours,
23 minutes, 38 seconds
what what’s the upside of going deep down into a trench that’s I think it’s what, three, four, five miles deep? The areoli trench.
23 minutes, 49 seconds
Areoli. What’s it called?
23 minutes, 52 seconds
Huh? [laughter] Areola’s the thing around your tits. Did you catch this yesterday? Probably.
23 minutes, 57 seconds
Maybe not. The new Disclosure Day trailer. I did. So Steven Spielberg’s in it.
24 minutes, 2 seconds
Yeah. He’s saying, first of all, bro, cut your nails.
24 minutes, 5 seconds
You’re freaking me out. Scratch. You scratch.
24 minutes, 8 seconds
He’s a nose picker. Some people keep them long to get boogers.
24 minutes, 12 seconds
Spielberg probably likes to pull out a crank out a greeny. Boy, picture Spielberg laying in bed at night just cranking out a greeny and eating it.
24 minutes, 22 seconds
So he said that he believes that we are being visited much. I don’t think he does that. He’s a respectful.
24 minutes, 28 seconds
Look at those nails. Those are booger picking nails. He’s just too busy to trim his nails.
24 minutes, 32 seconds
I don’t know. He probably could have someone trim those dirty booger nails. You think that’s what they are? He looks like an eye eye almost.
24 minutes, 39 seconds
What if he had like one long coke nail? What if he had like one long pink nail?
24 minutes, 43 seconds
Like an eye eye? Like a [ __ ] coke nail, bro. You ever seen an eye?
24 minutes, 47 seconds
It’s like those [snorts] dudes, they grow the pinky nail long to let everybody know they do coke. Pull up an eye, Jamie. What does that mean?
24 minutes, 54 seconds
You’ll see in a second. Dr. Coke nail. Jesus. A e a y. Maybe it’s that ink from the tattoo.
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That Now show them the middle finger of the eye.
25 minutes, 7 seconds
Whoa. Look at that hook. So, they have an elongated middle digit that they stick deep down into coconuts and melons.
25 minutes, 16 seconds
And uh that’s a Spielberg hook right there. [laughter] That is what the fingers look like. Look
25 minutes, 24 seconds
at that. That’s Spielberg at night laying in his water bed picking greenies. I don’t think he does that.
25 minutes, 30 seconds
I think he does. There’s one in his beard right there. I feel bad that I brought it up. Look, there’s the hand. There’s the eye.
25 minutes, 36 seconds
Oh, I I H.
25 minutes, 39 seconds
And isn’t it interesting, Joe, if we go full circle, if you’re down in a Trident submarine and the captain says, “Press
25 minutes, 46 seconds
X572 and obliterate Iran right now.” The operator would go, “I I sir.”
25 minutes, 54 seconds
[snorts]
25 minutes, 55 seconds
I don’t think they say that. I think they say Roger. Well, the guy’s name is Roger. Why do they say Roger?
26 minutes, 3 seconds
Huh?
26 minutes, 3 seconds
I wonder why they say that name. Like it’s not Mike.
26 minutes, 7 seconds
Roger was based off of the Jolly Roger, the flag, the skull and crossbone. So the nautical term Roger came from that.
26 minutes, 14 seconds
Jolly Roger. Yeah, but the military uses that too.
26 minutes, 17 seconds
Roger that, right? But they adopted it from the uh the Navy. Let’s find out if that’s true.
26 minutes, 23 seconds
Yeah, I was going to find what what is Roger the term Roger that. Where’s that come from?
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As I’m looking that up, do you know why pirates wear an eye patch? Cuz they cut their [ __ ] eye off.
26 minutes, 32 seconds
No. Oh, so they could uh see better at distance at night under the under the ship because it’s dark, right? Yeah. It’s uh for
26 minutes, 41 seconds
when you know light when you get accustomed to darkness the more But why does why does having one eye closed?
26 minutes, 51 seconds
So, do they put the patch over the other eye when they go under at night? Yes, you switch. Whoa. They switch eyes.
26 minutes, 58 seconds
So, they they never have to get adjusted to the dark. Well, that’s crazy. Yes.
27 minutes, 2 seconds
So, Roger has to do with Morse code according to that is actually kind of amazing. What a smart move. You put one patch over your
27 minutes, 10 seconds
eye during the daytime and one patch at night and you can always see.
27 minutes, 15 seconds
Y originally stood for the letter R which is used as shorthand for received in Morse code. Yeah.
27 minutes, 22 seconds
In an early radio. So saying Roger means I received your message.
27 minutes, 26 seconds
Oh. Oh, interesting. And it also hankers back to the skull and crossbones. The Jolly Roger, if you pull that up, I don’t think it does.
27 minutes, 35 seconds
Yeah, it is. It’s a derivative of the uh cranial area of the uh the tib the tibia cross the cranial.
27 minutes, 44 seconds
Jamie doesn’t believe you. The hell’s going on?
27 minutes, 46 seconds
When Jamie laughs, I know something’s up.
27 minutes, 49 seconds
What is uh Jolly Roger? No, the Roger and radio talk and the Roger and Jolly Roger come from different traditions and
27 minutes, 56 seconds
are not historically connected. Do you think this is maybe top secret information that you know and maybe you just made a mistake by telling the whole world?
28 minutes, 3 seconds
Can I answer it with uh
28 minutes, 6 seconds
[laughter]
28 minutes, 8 seconds
you’ve just been sonar player. So imagine [clears throat] if there was a super sophisticated uh
28 minutes, 16 seconds
intelligent civilization that existed way before ours like 30,000 years ago
28 minutes, 22 seconds
and then they had developed underwater travel, space travel, all that jazz.
28 minutes, 27 seconds
Then the apocalypse comes and the only ones that survive are the Trident submarine guys that are in the ocean, right?
28 minutes, 33 seconds
Maybe that’s why all these bases are in the ocean. Maybe they are the the last remaining survivors of a super advanced civilization
28 minutes, 40 seconds
that existed thousands and thousands of years before like Mesopotamia. But my point to you, Joe, good point. Valid. Valid.
28 minutes, 49 seconds
Think about it for Daddy’s going to play. I’m not even refuting it, but I’m going to roll it around the old Canadian. roll it
28 minutes, 56 seconds
around and I’m going to come back at you with an argument that if I’m an intelligent life force and I’ve got this
29 minutes, 4 seconds
sphere with oceans and land, why do I want to make life harder for myself? Do you know the pressure that you’re at 3
29 minutes, 12 seconds
miles down in the ocean? The amount of pressure that come look what happened to that little that little submarine that popped about three years ago,
29 minutes, 20 seconds
right? So why do you want to live in an environment where you have so much pressure when you could simply land on the terrestrial plane and live
29 minutes, 27 seconds
pressurefree? Because if they are insanely advanced, one of the things that’s proposed is that they have some
29 minutes, 35 seconds
sort of a gravity bubble and this is how they move through space and this is how they don’t use propulsion that they essentially us through space.
29 minutes, 44 seconds
Exactly. That’s why these crafts act as transmedium crafts. When these crafts are flying and they go into the ocean, the the ocean rather, there’s virtually no splash.
29 minutes, 53 seconds
And they’re moving 500 miles. Frictionless.
29 minutes, 55 seconds
Exactly. They’re not they’re not existing in the same spaceime as we are.
30 minutes
They have a bubble and this bubble completely distorts everything around them. [snorts] So you’re saying if they descended into the depths of our ocean,
30 minutes, 8 seconds
they wouldn’t experience the pressure because the bubble Exactly. is forcing off the pressure. Exactly. Interesting.
30 minutes, 15 seconds
But still, okay.
30 minutes, 18 seconds
What is your purpose for going underwater when you could just land on the surface of the Earth?
30 minutes, 24 seconds
[clears throat]
30 minutes, 26 seconds
Maybe they’re observing us and making sure that we don’t [ __ ] things up.
30 minutes, 29 seconds
But how can they observe us if they’re 3 miles underwater? Well, they come out of the water, Harland. That’s the whole reason why they know they’re there, cuz they keep experiencing these crafts that
30 minutes, 38 seconds
are rising out of the water in these very specific locations. Yeah.
30 minutes, 42 seconds
You seem like a disinformation agent from the government or something. I am. I am. It seems like it. I am.
30 minutes, 48 seconds
You should work out on being a little more stealthy. What do you mean?
30 minutes, 51 seconds
Because it’s very obvious to me that you’re what the kids call controlled opposition.
30 minutes, 56 seconds
Well, that could be me counterintuitively pre-programming you to think sideways.
31 minutes, 2 seconds
What would be the benefit of that? I’m not experiencing these ways of espionage.
31 minutes, 7 seconds
What’s the benefit of living a mile down in the ocean in the Areoli Rift?
31 minutes, 12 seconds
I think this the [clears throat] whole reason they’re in the ocean is because that’s where we won’t find them. Like if you wanted to watch like a civilization,
31 minutes, 22 seconds
if we went to another planet, okay, let’s say this, we let’s say we go to another planet and we find people that are living like cave people. They’re
31 minutes, 29 seconds
killing each other with spears. They’re, you know, robbing and raiding villages.
31 minutes, 34 seconds
If we wanted to just observe and we had the ability to observe from the sky motionless with no sound at all and just
31 minutes, 42 seconds
watch them, don’t you think we would do that? Yeah.
31 minutes, 44 seconds
We wouldn’t interfere. We would want to know as much about them as we could. Right.
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Every now and then when one of them was going to get watered, we [ __ ] dart them with a tranquilizer dart, check their DNA, take some jizz, and then
31 minutes, 55 seconds
leave them there just like they do to us. We would do the exact same stuff if we could do it. If we were just a little
32 minutes, 1 second
more advanced than we are now. So not, you know, millions of years in advance, which we think maybe possibly some
32 minutes, 8 seconds
civilizations are, but maybe a hundred years or a thousand years.
32 minutes, 12 seconds
And we found a planet and that planet had cave people on it.
32 minutes, 15 seconds
100% we would do most of the things that these aliens are doing.
32 minutes, 20 seconds
If we had a way where we could dart them and tranquilize them and they’d have no idea that we did it and they would just wake up in the jungle confused, we would
32 minutes, 28 seconds
do it. If we did medical tests on them, if we could take them, [clears throat] bring her to a secure medical facility that we had, maybe in a helicopter or
32 minutes, 37 seconds
some sort of a spaceship that we’ve created, and we run some tests on them, take some sperm, take some skin samples, do a [ __ ] cat scan on them, whatever,
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and then put them back in the jungle. We would do it 100%.
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This isn’t Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom. We’re not W the Beast. We’re not seals. Like, clearly they share some
32 minutes, 57 seconds
of the intelligence we have. They’re masters of aeronautics. We’ve mastered aeronautics in our physical plane. So
33 minutes, 4 seconds
what’s with all the mystery? Like if they can communicate and they can talk and they can build as we can. It’s not like No, we’re too primitive.
33 minutes, 12 seconds
Why don’t they just How do you know that?
33 minutes, 15 seconds
Because if something Why don’t they just go, “Hey, let’s go.
33 minutes, 17 seconds
Let’s go chat to the idiots.” No.
33 minutes, 20 seconds
If we’re that dumb. At least we can communicate.
33 minutes, 23 seconds
I think you have our fighter jets fly with their fight.
33 minutes, 25 seconds
Our fighter jets track them. We lock on to them. No, they’re not.
33 minutes, 29 seconds
So, we’re sharing aeronautical intelligence.
33 minutes, 32 seconds
No, no, no. They’re not sharing. They’re trying to find them and then they dart away and move in ways that we can’t explain.
33 minutes, 38 seconds
But we see them. We track them. We share the same airspace. We’re both flying. I don’t know why I’m getting so fired up.
33 minutes, 47 seconds
[laughter]
33 minutes, 48 seconds
Yeah. But still, dude, if we went to another planet and found Australiathecus, we found an early human, you know, one of the early
33 minutes, 57 seconds
primates, okay? 100% we would dart it.
34 minutes, 1 second
100% we would tranquilize it. We would run tests on it. We would want to know about it 100%.
34 minutes, 7 seconds
Okay? You’re talking about a Neanderthal, right? That’s what we are to them. If they’re the little grays with the big heads and they communicate telepathically and they could fly here
34 minutes, 14 seconds
instantaneously from other solar systems, we might as well be the ape people.
34 minutes, 20 seconds
But why the evasion? Like if you saw Homopicus or whatever it’s called, Australia holding up a cell phone, would you still
34 minutes, 28 seconds
go, let’s dart it and probe it and let it go? I want you just go, “Hey, that that monkeyy’s got a cell phone. Let’s
34 minutes, 36 seconds
go talk to it. We can talk. We have cell phones.” Like why the why the mysterious distance? Like if they’re in the ocean
34 minutes, 44 seconds
and they know we’re intelligent beings, why not just come up and say, “Hey, anyone want to go snorkeling?”
34 minutes, 52 seconds
I think Australiathecus with a spear is about as intelligent to us as we are to them. But if they have an evolved
35 minutes
language and they have communities and a civilization, isn’t that enough for us to just walk into camp and go, “Hey
35 minutes, 8 seconds
guys, I mean, they did it with with tri with uh, you know, uh, tribes that live in the Amazon.
35 minutes, 16 seconds
Who’s that guy? Who’s the guy they boiled in the pot?” That famous saying uh, what’s that famous? Oh, I can’t
35 minutes, 23 seconds
think of it right now. Uh, but anyways, we we wandered into into the Amazon and walked right up to like weird Amazon
35 minutes, 31 seconds
tribal people. It’s not like we hid and tried to hide from them.
35 minutes, 36 seconds
Yeah. But they didn’t know those people were even there.
35 minutes, 39 seconds
But when they found them, they integrated. They approached them. They go, “Hey, this is a t-shirt. This is a camera.” Those are human beings that are the
35 minutes, 47 seconds
exact same kind of human beings as the people that were visiting them. They’re not different species.
35 minutes, 54 seconds
Still, no.
35 minutes, 56 seconds
So, if you Joe Rogan were out in a field one day Uhhuh.
35 minutes, 59 seconds
and you saw a new species of like people jumping around having a picnic, sharing a salami,
36 minutes, 7 seconds
would you would you just hide behind a log and watch them or would you would you go, “Hey, uh, who are you? What are you?”
36 minutes, 15 seconds
Well, you’re not even allowed to contact unconted people.
36 minutes, 19 seconds
Say that again. You’re not allowed to contact like North Sentinel Island, that island in the middle of the Indian Ocean where that uh preacher went and got
36 minutes, 28 seconds
killed because he was trying to bring them Bibles, right?
36 minutes, 30 seconds
You’re not allowed to contact unconted tribes. Uh is that like all of them? Most of them.
36 minutes, 38 seconds
I don’t think so.
36 minutes, 39 seconds
Indian Ocean, they they they have that North Sentinel Island protected. And you know, there’s people that discourage people from contacting people in the
36 minutes, 47 seconds
Amazon. There’s several unconted tribes in the Amazon. I wish they’d stay that way. Yeah. Stay unconted.
36 minutes, 52 seconds
Well, I don’t want to see a beautiful like Pygmy or someone from an Amazonian tribe wearing an Adidas shirt.
37 minutes
Why not? Or a Hooters shirt. Hooters would be funny.
37 minutes, 4 seconds
No, that’d be funny.
37 minutes, 5 seconds
I want to see them wearing like cuckook feathers and uh you know, hookah pick bones. Leave them alone.
37 minutes, 12 seconds
Spear fishing with a BE hat on.
37 minutes, 14 seconds
Joe, come on guy. No. [laughter] No. See, that’s why not.
37 minutes, 20 seconds
Well, then that’s why the aliens under the ocean are staying away from us. They don’t want to be corrupted by our ridiculous society of Hooters and Cracker Barrels.
37 minutes, 29 seconds
Okay. If you were in the Amazon, wouldn’t you want a t-shirt?
37 minutes, 35 seconds
If I was if you were walking through the Amazon, you Harlon Williams. Yeah.
37 minutes, 39 seconds
The third right now alive in 2026. If you were in the Amazon and I said, “Would you like to wear a t-shirt while you’re walking through the Amazon?” Yeah.
37 minutes, 47 seconds
What would you say as a white North American male? I’d say definitely.
37 minutes, 52 seconds
And they want one, too. It’s better than no t-shirt. No, it’s not.
37 minutes, 55 seconds
There’s a tribe of five people and one of them has a shirt.
37 minutes, 58 seconds
One of them’s got a tight shirt. I hate that.
38 minutes
Look, he’s got flip flops. That guy on the right is ball. That is the baller of the [ __ ] neighborhood. That’s the guy that pulls up in the 65 Chevel and
38 minutes, 7 seconds
everybody’s like, “Look at him with his flipflops.” I think that’s that guy who wrote Margaritavville. What was his name?
38 minutes, 13 seconds
[laughter]
38 minutes, 14 seconds
Jimmy Buffett. That’s Jimmy Buffett for God’s sake.
38 minutes, 16 seconds
Mike read about what’s it called? Isn’t [laughter] that him?
38 minutes, 24 seconds
I think that’s him. Where’s him? Get away again. Well, we get dinged on YouTube for that.
38 minutes, 30 seconds
Jamie, it’s very You guys are getting way too close. Yeah, you know, you get dinged like Oh, you can’t sing.
38 minutes, 35 seconds
They take away your [ __ ] advertising revenue if you hum a song.
38 minutes, 40 seconds
Okay, the these dirty criminals. Wow.
38 minutes, 43 seconds
Hum a song. You dirty scumbags trying to steal advertising money.
38 minutes, 49 seconds
What if we mess with them and hum a tune and sort of play name that tune with them? And if they’ll do, they’ll [ __ ] ding you.
38 minutes, 55 seconds
Even if they can’t figure it out, like they’ve got to sit around the office.
38 minutes, 59 seconds
They’ll pretend. Then you have to go to court.
39 minutes
Name that tune in seven notes. And I’m like, don’t do it. Don’t do it. Do you know what I just did?
39 minutes, 7 seconds
You [ __ ] us up. That’s You know what song that was? I don’t care. I do.
39 minutes, 10 seconds
What is it? It was uh that Pink Floyd uh song.
39 minutes, 15 seconds
No, no, no. Don’t you don’t say that because then they’ll get us. Yeah, but they don’t know which one. Doesn’t matter. And they can’t prove it.
39 minutes, 20 seconds
They They don’t have That’s what you don’t understand. They don’t have to prove it.
39 minutes, 24 seconds
Oh, all they have to do is make a claim. Huh?
39 minutes, 26 seconds
And then you have to fight it and you’ll lose.
39 minutes, 28 seconds
You’re Joe Rogan, though. They’re not going to mess with you, guy. Oh, you’re so incorrect. By the way, dude, you are jacked.
39 minutes, 36 seconds
I work out. Can we get your shirt off?
39 minutes, 38 seconds
No. [laughter] How come? Joe, don’t be selfish.
39 minutes, 47 seconds
I want you to Would you please take your shirt off? For what reason? Because you have a beautiful body. Okay.
39 minutes, 54 seconds
And you work so hard at it. And no one gets to see it. And you know, you want people to see it, but you can’t do it.
40 minutes, 3 seconds
You can’t go, “Well, I’m Joe Rogan. I crafted this body.” But if I ask you to, you get to show it off.
40 minutes, 12 seconds
I don’t really want to show it off. That’s why I wear clothes. You do though. But I don’t.
40 minutes, 16 seconds
It’s like if you did this podcast but didn’t put it out. What’s the point? I don’t think that’s the same thing.
40 minutes, 25 seconds
I would love it if you showed your beautiful body.
40 minutes, 29 seconds
Okay. [clears throat] I love it. There you go. Oh yeah, Joe. Dude, can we stand? No, that’s enough.
40 minutes, 37 seconds
Dude, look at that. I have muscles.
40 minutes, 40 seconds
Can we talk about before you put the shirt on? Can we talk about it? What do you want to talk about? How you do that? I work out. You could do it, too.
40 minutes, 47 seconds
Well, do you work out? Yeah. How often? Do you really want to get into this? Sure.
40 minutes, 56 seconds
You do? Yeah. How often do you work out?
40 minutes, 57 seconds
Because I’m about to crack an egg open on your show that I don’t think anyone’s ever talked about. How often you work out? A lot. Yeah.
41 minutes, 6 seconds
What are you doing these days? Okay. You want to get into this? Sure.
41 minutes, 11 seconds
Here we go. Here we go. Joseph Zachary Rogan.
41 minutes, 16 seconds
I’m I don’t want to get in trouble. But I’m working out. By the way, beautiful body. Your chest is stunning. See, I’m
41 minutes, 25 seconds
glad it doesn’t even make me uncomfortable that you say that. Like some men I would be like, “This is odd.” No. No. I’m not a fly guy. What does that mean?
41 minutes, 32 seconds
Like homosexual. [laughter]
41 minutes, 40 seconds
[laughter]
41 minutes, 41 seconds
I’m straight as they come, but I believe in holding up people’s hard work. And that didn’t just come from sitting around eating Pringles and BaskinRobins.
41 minutes, 50 seconds
You worked your ass off. You deserve to show it. And you never could cuz it’s you. And now I get to help celebrate you. And all your fans got to see all that hard work. And I love it, guy.
42 minutes, 2 seconds
Okay. But I’m straight as a Chinese truck driver. Chinese truck drivers are never gay.
42 minutes, 7 seconds
Never. Is that part of the job? Yeah.
42 minutes, 11 seconds
There. Seriously though, how many dudes are jerking off under the ocean?
42 minutes, 14 seconds
How many guys are jerking off to you just taking your shirt off?
42 minutes, 17 seconds
A couple. But how many guys are jerking off to me taking my shirt off while they’re under the ocean?
42 minutes, 24 seconds
Let me check. If you got 14 subs, how many people are on each sub? How many men are on each sub?
42 minutes, 31 seconds
It might not be known. Let’s take a guess.
42 minutes, 34 seconds
They keep it very secret. If you had to guess, how many people are on each sub?
42 minutes, 41 seconds
I’m going to say [laughter] no. A thousand.
42 minutes, 49 seconds
A lot more than that. Really?
42 minutes, 51 seconds
On the on the Trident. The Trident are like floating cities. number it gave me might be including all submarines, including like every government, not just ours.
43 minutes, 1 second
Okay. But how many how many people are on each submarine?
43 minutes, 6 seconds
How many like could one of those submarines hold?
43 minutes, 9 seconds
A small one is 30 to 70. I’ll show you a large a small one. Yeah. Large one is 120 to 140.
43 minutes, 16 seconds
Wow. That seems about it. Big 160 maybe max.
43 minutes, 20 seconds
And there’s 14 of them. So, there’s at least a thousand dudes underwater right now. It said there’s 40 to 70,000.
43 minutes, 26 seconds
[clears throat]
43 minutes, 27 seconds
40 to 70,000 guys under the water. Yeah. Yeah. Wa.
43 minutes, 30 seconds
So, don’t worry about United States taking a hit. My god, this is crazy. This wild. That’s a crazy statistic.
43 minutes, 38 seconds
Are you glad I dropped by today?
43 minutes, 40 seconds
I’m always glad when you drop by, but this is crazy. 40 to 70,000 people are underwater in submarines at any given moment with huge uncertainty. Why? We
43 minutes, 48 seconds
can only estimate. No navy or company publishes a live count of how many submarines are deployed right now or how many crew are aboard each one and how many deployments are classified.
43 minutes, 59 seconds
Civilian research and tourism subs are also not tracked in a global real-time way. Wow.
44 minutes, 7 seconds
Wow.
44 minutes, 8 seconds
That’s crazy. So that could be a whole new civilization. So if they blow up the earth, but how many chicks?
44 minutes, 15 seconds
Well, that’s the thing. The ratio is probably not good. The ratio is probably non-existent. How many chicks are in these subs? That’s classified.
44 minutes, 23 seconds
Are they Do they have girls that serve in these subs? There’s There’s girl submariners. What is the number? It’s like 10 to one.
44 minutes, 30 seconds
And worse, what do they look like? But I bet they’re the [ __ ] cream of the crop underwater cuz this the pressure squeezes in all the cellulite.
44 minutes, 38 seconds
No. No. There’s no other girls.
44 minutes, 41 seconds
Oh, they’re the Oh, yeah. You got You get No competition. Yeah. No competition.
44 minutes, 46 seconds
Like how many ladies? Let’s take a guess of how many ladies are underwater at any given time. 20. Yeah. 10%. 10%.
44 minutes, 54 seconds
Women are likely well under 10% of submarines worldwide with higher percentages in a few navies such as US
45 minutes, 1 second
and some NATO allies. Those are the ones that are in trouble.
45 minutes, 4 seconds
There’s 609 uh assigned to submarines in the US.
45 minutes, 9 seconds
Wow. 609 women get getting how many dudes hitting on them? Yeah.
45 minutes, 15 seconds
It’s That would must be hell. Be underwater with a guy who’s annoying you and you can’t get away from him.
45 minutes, 20 seconds
Can’t get away. He’s farting. [sighs] Underwater sex. Underwater farts must be horrible.
45 minutes, 27 seconds
But let’s What do they do with the [ __ ] They don’t come up sometimes for months.
45 minutes, 32 seconds
Oh yeah. The trident go out for I think a year almost.
45 minutes, 36 seconds
And so what do they do with their [ __ ] They just eject it. They eject it into the sea.
45 minutes, 41 seconds
They’re not doing anything a whale isn’t doing. But do they eject it into the sink?
45 minutes, 45 seconds
They have to. I mean, they can’t make meatloaf.
45 minutes, 47 seconds
Can you imagine if like during that process somehow or another it got clogged up cuz somebody used too much toilet paper and the sub sinks?
45 minutes, 55 seconds
Yeah. A fatty cuz Javier just took a giant dump. They might melt it. Melt it.
46 minutes, 2 seconds
They can rise up too. Don’t forget they can break throw it into the nuclear pit where the engines can manage trash by compacting, melting, or jettisoning it to avoid det.
46 minutes, 13 seconds
Okay, that’s trash. What about poop?
46 minutes, 14 seconds
Well, I that’s I said did you ask about poop? Ask about poop just specifically because waste could mean, you know, paper cups.
46 minutes, 21 seconds
It’s the same thing though. I would always go now if you were jettisoning your poop everywhere, you might want to have detectors for human waste in the water and you might start figuring out
46 minutes, 29 seconds
where the submarines are. So maybe you don’t want to do that. He’s operating on another level in the 40s probably.
46 minutes, 36 seconds
This is a dude that’s into conspiracies.
46 minutes, 39 seconds
Jamie, he operates on other levels. Tracking.
46 minutes, 43 seconds
Do you know that term can neither confirm nor deny came from a Russian submarine that was sunk that we were pulling out of the ocean and there was
46 minutes, 51 seconds
and they had to they got questioned about it and they said, “Are are we in
46 minutes, 58 seconds
possession of this r Russian sub? Are we pulling it out of the ground?” And they said, “We can neither confirm nor deny.” Because they had to answer.
47 minutes, 5 seconds
So that is an answer without an answer. I can neither confirm nor deny.
47 minutes, 10 seconds
That’s akin to saying pleading the fifth.
47 minutes, 13 seconds
Sort of. But it’s you actually are answering. You can neither confirm nor deny.
47 minutes, 18 seconds
That’s like saying I’m What do you do for a living? I’m in heating and air conditioning.
47 minutes, 22 seconds
No, because that’s a very specific trade.
47 minutes, 25 seconds
Well, they kind of counteract each other. What do you do? I’m in shipping and receiving. [laughter]
47 minutes, 32 seconds
Are you sure? I can neither confirm nor deny. I see.
47 minutes, 35 seconds
I mean, this is an avoidance uh problem that But I want to talk to you about my workout regime. Okay. Cuz you asked.
47 minutes, 43 seconds
I did ask. I’m doing something so advanced. Uh you do the ice baths, right? Mhm.
47 minutes, 51 seconds
You you soak in them. Yep.
47 minutes, 54 seconds
So, I’m doing something so extensive that I’m exercising myself into a new race.
48 minutes, 3 seconds
What are you becoming?
48 minutes, 4 seconds
And no one’s said this before on your podcast, I don’t think, but I’m working out so hard to become a new race.
48 minutes, 15 seconds
And two words, Gara Ruffa. You take your ice baths, garam, my guy.
48 minutes, 26 seconds
What is that?
48 minutes, 27 seconds
Jamie, look it up and do it quick, you
48 minutes, 29 seconds
[ __ ]
48 minutes, 31 seconds
I mean, do it quick. [laughter] A garafa.
48 minutes, 38 seconds
Look it up. You’re becoming a fish.
48 minutes, 41 seconds
Oh, that’s not any fish. The garuffa people submerse their legs and feet into
48 minutes, 48 seconds
the tanks and the garuffa have vibrating lips, Joe, and they eat skin cells.
48 minutes, 55 seconds
Picture this. Underwater.
48 minutes, 58 seconds
So those the ones like when you go into Thailand and ladies dump their legs into a fish pond, right? Vibrating lips.
49 minutes, 5 seconds
Clean your toes off, Joe? Mhm.
49 minutes, 10 seconds
And how are you working out to become one of those? So, while you’re taking your ice baths, Yeah.
49 minutes, 15 seconds
I’m submerging my whole body, my lower extremities into one of these tanks.
49 minutes, 25 seconds
These fish are sculpting my body, my lower extremities.
49 minutes, 32 seconds
And have you ever heard of malaria pills? Yes.
49 minutes, 35 seconds
So, while everyone else is popping ompic and doing everything else, I’ve been on malaria pills for four years.
49 minutes, 42 seconds
And these things can flip your blood platelets. Okay, that’s the power of malaria pills. They can actually change
49 minutes, 51 seconds
your red blood cell count and your white blood cell count. It’s powerful medicine. Okay.
49 minutes, 58 seconds
So, with the use of my malaria pills and the garuffas and I don’t know if you want to see the
50 minutes, 7 seconds
results, but my legs are hammerjacked right now.
50 minutes, 10 seconds
Let me see them. Let’s see. My legs are power. Take your pants off. Okay. Come on. Okay. Are you sure? Yeah. Yeah.
50 minutes, 16 seconds
And before I do it, I’m I’m going into a new race and I don’t want anyone to accuse me of doing black leg.
50 minutes, 29 seconds
Notice he has baggy pants on.
50 minutes, 31 seconds
I don’t know if you’ve ever seen the fastest man in the world is who? Hussein Bolt.
50 minutes, 37 seconds
Hussein Bolt. The biggest high jumper in the world is a black man. The longest
50 minutes, 45 seconds
long jumper is a black man. The f highest vertical jumper is a black man.
50 minutes, 51 seconds
And this isn’t racist. This isn’t black leg. But this is me. What are you doing?
50 minutes, 56 seconds
Working out into a new race. And I’m proud of this. Pull your pants off.
51 minutes, 2 seconds
[laughter]
51 minutes, 4 seconds
I wouldn’t be laughing if I were you. These legs are jacked.
51 minutes, 11 seconds
[laughter]
51 minutes, 15 seconds
[screaming]
51 minutes, 17 seconds
[gasps]
51 minutes, 17 seconds
Look at these legs. Why are they a different color?
51 minutes, 21 seconds
Well, I told you I’m working out into another race.
51 minutes, 24 seconds
You have [ __ ] serious leg muscles, man. Yeah. Where’d you get those leg muscles? I told you. What’s going on with your underwear? That’s kind of crazy.
51 minutes, 32 seconds
What do you mean? My underwear are covering it. What kind?
51 minutes, 36 seconds
What the the [ __ ] do you have on your legs?
51 minutes, 39 seconds
Dude, I told you I’m working out right into another race.
51 minutes, 43 seconds
Are those your real legs? That’s very impressive. You don’t have like silicon over them or anything? Those your actual leg muscles, bro.
51 minutes, 49 seconds
Wait a minute. Why is giant leg muscles?
51 minutes, 52 seconds
Why is it you can take your shirt off and I don’t I compliment you, but it’s like your legs don’t m mass.
51 minutes, 58 seconds
They don’t m match up with the rest of your cuz the colors off.
52 minutes, 1 second
No, the muscles are crazy. Stand up again. Yeah, those muscles are insane. Yeah, look at these. Are those real? Well, what?
52 minutes, 7 seconds
Tell me the truth. They look like plastic. What are you talking about? It looks like you’re wearing something.
52 minutes, 12 seconds
J, come on, Jamie. Those are the most insane legs I’ve ever seen in my life. Right. Right.
52 minutes, 16 seconds
If that was a guy weighing in at a UFC fight, that would make sense. But go viral. Two words. Gara Ruffa.
52 minutes, 25 seconds
Where’d you get those legs, dude? I sink them.
52 minutes, 27 seconds
So, if I sit in the tank, I’ll get legs like that. Well, are you taking malaria pills? Oh, no.
52 minutes, 34 seconds
You do my combo.
52 minutes, 36 seconds
Do you want to stand up? Let me see the pants.
52 minutes, 40 seconds
[laughter]
52 minutes, 41 seconds
I mean, and look at the skin difference.
52 minutes, 46 seconds
[snorts]
52 minutes, 46 seconds
Pull take your shirt off so I can see where the skin changes color. I Excuse me.
52 minutes, 52 seconds
I want to see where the skin changes color.
52 minutes, 53 seconds
If you take your shirt off again, I will. But I just did. But I want to do it together. Okay, do it together.
53 minutes, 4 seconds
[laughter]
53 minutes, 6 seconds
You son of a [ __ ] You son of a [ __ ] You Rogan. [laughter] What have you done
53 minutes, 13 seconds
for? What? Where did you get those
53 minutes, 16 seconds
[ __ ] pants? [laughter]
53 minutes, 21 seconds
Broke. [laughter] Don’t fall in there. Don’t go in there. A gourd.
53 minutes, 30 seconds
The only thing I could fit in there was a gourd. [laughter] Oh my [snorts] god.
53 minutes, 41 seconds
[laughter]
53 minutes, 44 seconds
Oh,
53 minutes, 46 seconds
[laughter]
53 minutes, 48 seconds
Joe.
53 minutes, 50 seconds
When I first saw your legs, I was like, “What the [ __ ] is going on? How does he have legs like that?” I noticed earlier he’s got some baggy pants on. [laughter]
53 minutes, 57 seconds
I know. Jes weird. Where the [ __ ] did she get those pants?
54 minutes, 4 seconds
Dude, [snorts] why can’t I look good? You look great. God.
54 minutes, 9 seconds
Like, you could wear those like to a pool, like a public pool, and the ladies would definitely be checking you out. Yeah. Like, look at his gourd.
54 minutes, 19 seconds
Can I leave the gourd with Dimmitri? Can we add to the collection?
54 minutes, 23 seconds
I’m going to have people smell it. I’m going to tell them, “Smell that.” smell.
54 minutes, 27 seconds
That was in Harlon Williams pants, dude.
54 minutes, 30 seconds
Not even in his pants. It was like rubbing up against his [ __ ] I’m going to leave that there for people to smell. Yeah.
54 minutes, 36 seconds
Yeah. Next time someone comes in, what’s all this stuff here? Grab it first. I’m like, smell that. Can I pull my pants up? You Yeah, sure.
54 minutes, 44 seconds
Feels weird sitting here with my pants down.
54 minutes, 46 seconds
Well, you are wearing pants. You’re wearing rubber pants.
54 minutes, 49 seconds
Well, rubber muscle pants. Come on.
54 minutes, 52 seconds
Don’t you want legs like that for real, Joe? Wouldn’t that be awesome?
54 minutes, 57 seconds
That’s like me saying, “Don’t you want a chest like that for real? You’re hairier than I thought.” Really? Are you part Armenian?
55 minutes, 5 seconds
[laughter]
55 minutes, 7 seconds
Are you? No. No.
55 minutes, 9 seconds
Great. [clears throat] Hang on. I got to pull my pants up.
55 minutes, 15 seconds
[laughter]
55 minutes, 17 seconds
God from behind. [laughter] Put the board back in.
55 minutes, 26 seconds
There we go. [laughter] Ah, stuck. Blur that. I don’t know. Do we have to blur it?
55 minutes, 34 seconds
I don’t know. No, it’s a gourd.
55 minutes, 36 seconds
And you’re worried about a song getting dinged. [laughter] Oh my god.
55 minutes, 47 seconds
[laughter]
55 minutes, 48 seconds
Silly [ __ ] Ch.
55 minutes, 51 seconds
[snorts]
55 minutes, 52 seconds
[laughter]
55 minutes, 57 seconds
Oh my god.
56 minutes
Do you know how I’m crying?
56 minutes, 1 second
Do you know how moist my balls are right now? How bad that gourd must smell?
56 minutes, 6 seconds
[laughter]
56 minutes, 10 seconds
Oh, as spring shifts into summer, for a lot of people that means traveling and
56 minutes, 18 seconds
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56 minutes, 25 seconds
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56 minutes, 33 seconds
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56 minutes, 42 seconds
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56 minutes, 50 seconds
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57 minutes
And for a limited time, get a bottle of vitamin D3 K2 and an AG1 flavor sampler for free in your welcome kit with your
57 minutes, 9 seconds
first subscription. That’s drinkagg.com/jo.
57 minutes, 14 seconds
But I am proud of you because [laughter]
57 minutes, 22 seconds
[laughter]
57 minutes, 26 seconds
Oh my god.
57 minutes, 27 seconds
I’m proud of you that you took your shirt off cuz I’m not joking. You worked so hard for that. Thank you.
57 minutes, 33 seconds
And you could never show it. You had to have a conduit. You had to have someone invite you to do it so it didn’t look
57 minutes, 41 seconds
self-centered or conceited. You deserve to show that hard work to the world. Thank you. Good for you. And you look great. Thank you very much.
57 minutes, 49 seconds
You’re welcome. I love it. And I hope it’s an inspiration to people watching to want to be as physically fit and put together. It’s great. Right.
58 minutes, 1 second
Sure.
58 minutes, 2 seconds
I feel like remember when you were a kid, they had those books where you could take half a body and half a body and remember their little kids books and you’d fold them.
58 minutes, 12 seconds
Yeah. You fold them over.
58 minutes, 13 seconds
I feel like if we took your upper part and put it on my lower part, we’d have the immaculate human being. And then
58 minutes, 20 seconds
those fart bubbles from the bottom of the ocean won’t have a trouble coming around. Yeah.
58 minutes, 26 seconds
You look like me and Joe Zachary Rogan, those fart bubbles from the areoli drench will come up and suck us a dirty lasagna.
58 minutes, 39 seconds
Sorry, I get excited, Joe.
58 minutes, 42 seconds
Maybe it’s the like forever chemicals leaking through the rubber underwear you’re wearing. [laughter] They’re not underwear. How dare you? Those are my legs.
58 minutes, 50 seconds
You should take them off cuz you’re sweating that’s leeching into your blood right now. All the BPAs.
58 minutes, 55 seconds
God, I don’t want to die. But you know what’s interesting? My legs are bronze.
59 minutes, 3 seconds
And we don’t talk about the bronze people. We always talk about white and black, but what about the bronzies, the Incas, the Mayas?
59 minutes, 12 seconds
I mean, these people and the legs on them. Did you ever see Apocalyptto? And I don’t know if this is in any history books anywhere, but those bronzies could motor.
59 minutes, 22 seconds
Yeah, true.
59 minutes, 24 seconds
So, I’ve got legs where if I’m being chased, if a rapist is coming after me,
59 minutes, 32 seconds
I’m out of here. There’s three men in this room. Two of you are getting raped. Not me. Wow. Yeah.
59 minutes, 39 seconds
I mean, these legs, I could jump over uh Dolly Parton’s gazebo.
59 minutes, 46 seconds
By the way, speaking of Areola, have you seen hers? I haven’t.
59 minutes, 50 seconds
They’re the size of lily pads. I had I had a one nighter with her about three weeks ago. She’s a one night show.
59 minutes, 56 seconds
A one night stand. We were jackhammering all night. Picked her up at a bar in Malibu. Hammer jack.
1 hour, 2 seconds
I don’t think it was really Dolly Parton. It was It was She goes out. Oh, she was that night.
1 hour, 6 seconds
You sure it wasn’t a lady wearing a mask, dude? It was her. And her areas are the size of lily pads. I’m not kidding. I woke up in the morning, there were two bullfrogs sitting on her tits.
1 hour, 20 seconds
Why you looking at me like that?
1 hour, 22 seconds
She’s kind of old to be [ __ ] Not for me. Have you seen my legs?
1 hour, 27 seconds
Also, she’s a very respected lady. I think it’s very rude. 80.
1 hour, 32 seconds
It’s the way I said effing. We We made love. Oh, okay. I feel better.
1 hour, 37 seconds
We made love and her areas are the size of lily pads. I feel a lot better now. Thanks. Yeah. Sorry. I didn’t mean to. Yeah. I should keep it classy.
1 hour, 44 seconds
Do you like them big? The big areas.
1 hour, 46 seconds
I like a big areola. Reminds me of a pancake. Yeah.
1 hour, 50 seconds
Like sometimes I’ll put a dollop of butter on it.
1 hour, 52 seconds
It’s a robust woman. Like it’s a lot going on there. As big areas.
1 hour, 58 seconds
And the dark ones. And they’re great to take with you camping. If you ever have a rubber raft and you get a hole in it, you can rip one off and patch it.
1 hour, 1 minute, 7 seconds
Oh Jesus.
1 hour, 1 minute, 8 seconds
Yeah, that’s not what I was thinking. Well, you don’t camp much. Just bring a patch.
1 hour, 1 minute, 13 seconds
Yeah, but if you don’t have one, you can rip off a dirty areoli that you’re hoping you’re going to get out of the woods.
1 hour, 1 minute, 20 seconds
Well, if you can’t and you’re with a chick, you got an areoli.
1 hour, 1 minute, 23 seconds
Lose your areola forever just because you forgot to bring a patch.
1 hour, 1 minute, 26 seconds
Yeah, but it’s What do you want? one you’re one areoli less so you have your life back plus if she’s 80 they don’t those don’t heal that good she could die from
1 hour, 1 minute, 35 seconds
infection it’s about living it’s not about having an areoli you want to get out of the woods or not
1 hour, 1 minute, 43 seconds
uh one titty Jackson or whatever her name is okay tough love speaking of sex have you been on this
1 hour, 1 minute, 50 seconds
only fans thing have you gone on no I don’t go it’s all I’m hearing about you right all you hear about now is only fans fans.com.
1 hour, 1 minute, 59 seconds
Yep. They do comedy shows.
1 hour, 2 minutes, 1 second
I finally go on this thing cuz it’s all I’m hearing about. Onlyfans.com. I go on about a week ago and I’m on there for
1 hour, 2 minutes, 9 seconds
about two hours and it’s just video after video after picture and I’m on there so long my eyes are like right
1 hour, 2 minutes, 16 seconds
spinning. And finally I stop the damn thing and I’m like screw this. I already have central air conditioning. Why the
1 hour, 2 minutes, 24 seconds
hell am I looking at this site? I don’t need a fan. I mean, good lord.
1 hour, 2 minutes, 33 seconds
[clears throat]
1 hour, 2 minutes, 40 seconds
I’ll pull my legs out. I will pull my dirty bronze legs out and wrap them around your neck like a dirty anaconda.
1 hour, 2 minutes, 48 seconds
What the [ __ ] is wrong with you? Do you think if you’re a woman you’d be doing Only Fans? You know, it’s an interesting question.
1 hour, 2 minutes, 56 seconds
It’s a moral moral dilemma, isn’t it?
1 hour, 2 minutes, 59 seconds
Let’s imagine if Haron was a female and Haron was 21 and just got here from Canada with these legs with those legs and not a lot of
1 hour, 3 minutes, 7 seconds
not a lot of ways to make a living, but you’re cute.
1 hour, 3 minutes, 9 seconds
Desperate times call for desperate matters, Joe Rogan.
1 hour, 3 minutes, 14 seconds
You know, it’s it’s a de it’s a serious question and it’s almost a sad one in today’s world. It is because in the old days you had your sex
1 hour, 3 minutes, 23 seconds
industry sort of confined to the shadows. Mhm.
1 hour, 3 minutes, 27 seconds
And now anyone’s daughter, cousin, niece, nephew that they they can suddenly be exposed to the world in the
1 hour, 3 minutes, 34 seconds
most promiscuous way but in the most profitable way.
1 hour, 3 minutes, 38 seconds
That’s the problem is also you get addicted to the money. Let’s imagine let’s imagine you’re a lady and um you have a site and you know you
1 hour, 3 minutes, 47 seconds
show your feet and stick things inside your butt or whatever you do and you’re making what was that last part?
1 hour, 3 minutes, 53 seconds
Stick stuff inside your butt if you’re a lady. Yeah. Like what?
1 hour, 3 minutes, 57 seconds
Some ladies they put uh like dildos in there and stuff. Okay. Have you ever seen that? No, but I’m just assuming it happens. Doesn’t that happen, Jamie?
1 hour, 4 minutes, 5 seconds
Sure. Sure.
1 hour, 4 minutes, 6 seconds
You’ve never seen a lady do that? I’m pure as a driven snow, sir.
1 hour, 4 minutes, 11 seconds
Joe, not in real life. You haven’t?
1 hour, 4 minutes, 16 seconds
No. Stick a rubber dick inside their butthole. I don’t want to be there for that. No. Why not? I’m I’m not interested.
1 hour, 4 minutes, 23 seconds
You ever been through a car wash? I have. What’s the difference?
1 hour, 4 minutes, 28 seconds
It’s a big difference. One of them is your butt where you [ __ ] out of and you’re putting a rubber dick inside of the other one is you’re getting your car washed.
1 hour, 4 minutes, 33 seconds
You make a good point. [laughter] Point is, my if you were making Yeah.
1 hour, 4 minutes, 39 seconds
If you’re doing all this and you developed a nice fan base and you’re making a h 100,000 a month, 300,000 a month. Yeah.
1 hour, 4 minutes, 46 seconds
And then you don’t feel good about yourself and what do you do? Do you just save up the money and quit? How if you meet a nice guy and and he’s like, “So,
1 hour, 4 minutes, 55 seconds
what do you do for a living?” You’re like, “Well, let me tell you. [snorts] I don’t want to do it anymore, but I take rubber dicks and I oil my
1 hour, 5 minutes, 2 seconds
butthole up and I shove them in there. a you know HD camera few inches from my butthole the guy send me tips.
1 hour, 5 minutes, 11 seconds
I think the subtext here Joe is what is the price you put on your dignity right?
1 hour, 5 minutes, 18 seconds
What is the price you put on your spirit? Because this stuff it may seem
1 hour, 5 minutes, 26 seconds
fun in the moment but you get down the road and it follows you. You know, we looked it up and it’s something crazy
1 hour, 5 minutes, 34 seconds
like 10% of girls aged 18 to 24 in the United States are on Only Fans. H
1 hour, 5 minutes, 42 seconds
this is a this is a tough question and you can tell me to shut up if you want. Okay. You have a daughter, don’t you? I have three daughters.
1 hour, 5 minutes, 49 seconds
You have three daughters. I have four sisters.
1 hour, 5 minutes, 52 seconds
If one of your daughters told you she was doing Only Fans, what would your reaction be?
1 hour, 5 minutes, 58 seconds
I think I made a a big failure as a parent. But how would you approach it with said daughter?
1 hour, 6 minutes, 4 seconds
Well, you would give them advice. First of all, your daughter or your son or any is a human being. You don’t own them, right?
1 hour, 6 minutes, 11 seconds
Good point. So, you’re supposed point, but good point.
1 hour, 6 minutes, 14 seconds
If you treat them like you own them and they have to listen to you, they’ll never listen to you and they’re going to rebel. This is just human nature. Excellent point. I’m with you so far.
1 hour, 6 minutes, 23 seconds
You have to give them advice and you have to talk to them and talk to them about the repercussions of what they’re doing and realize that this stuff will follow you. And some people are going to
1 hour, 6 minutes, 31 seconds
be fine with that. Look, there’s some ladies that are like, “Look, I don’t ever want a [ __ ] regular job. I’m not I’m ashamed of my body.” And maybe
1 hour, 6 minutes, 39 seconds
they’re not sticking things up their butt. Maybe they’re just being naked and they’re like, “This is way better than having a job.” Fine. What does it say here?
1 hour, 6 minutes, 47 seconds
Top 1% top earners make about $18,000 to $49,000 per year. Whoa. That’s it.
1 hour, 6 minutes, 53 seconds
That’s not much. [clears throat] I could work at Denny’s for that.
1 hour, 6 minutes, 56 seconds
What? So, the top 0.1% make a h 100,000 per month or 1.2 million annual. That’s the top 0.1, but
1 hour, 7 minutes, 5 seconds
the top 1% only make $18,000 to 49,000 a year. So, you imagine you’re making $18,000 or $49,000 a year. You’re still living in poverty.
1 hour, 7 minutes, 15 seconds
Oh, yeah.
1 hour, 7 minutes, 16 seconds
If you’re making $18,000 a year, you’re poor and you are showing your [ __ ] and no one’s paying for it. Yeah.
1 hour, 7 minutes, 22 seconds
Wait a minute. But Joe, I know that you look at that.
1 hour, 7 minutes, 27 seconds
You have a bit of a rage side. Like Joe [clears throat] knows how to rage.
1 hour, 7 minutes, 30 seconds
Because you’re a fighter. You know how to go into that red zone. You’re an you can be an intimidating force. Is there a world where your daughter says, “Daddy,
1 hour, 7 minutes, 39 seconds
I’m doing this.” And Joe just goes, “You’re [ __ ] not.” Like is do you go into the red zone or just It’s not going to If you do that with
1 hour, 7 minutes, 47 seconds
your kids, they’re not going to listen to you. But what if you did it just because of the reaction where you were so mad or disappointed in I would only be that mad if someone was doing something terrible to them.
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Okay.
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Or you know, you’re a good dad.
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Well, you have to be I like I like what I’m hearing here.
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You have to you have to be a human. You know, you’re the parent, but you also you got to understand human nature. I know people that yell at their kids or
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and I know kids that have been yelled at and they always resent that. They they they’re always angry. It’s a it’s a stupid way to handle things. Something
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happened here just now that I [clears throat] was not expecting today. What’s that?
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I got to see a side of you that I didn’t know if it was there or not cuz I don’t know your family life, but I got to feel
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for a second dad vibes, dad love. And I think I sort of pictured you sitting with your daughter and being very reasonable and loving.
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Well, hopefully I never have to have that conversation.
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I hope so, too. But I I I see you as an understanding, nurturing dad in that moment. I love that. I try to be.
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Yeah, that’s the goal. I mean, if you want to have a relationship with your kids, and you know, my daughters are teenagers now, too. And we’ve never gone
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through a period where you always hear these periods where the kids rebel against you and they hate you when you’re teenagers. That’s never happened.
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And I think it’s probably never happened because we always just communicate. And I try to be as reasonable,
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open-minded as possible, but also very, you got to be very supportive, too. I mean, it’s hard to be a kid, man. It’s even harder to be a kid today than ever
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before because of social media and all the pressures that they face. And and then also this weird world that they’re entering into where AI might be taking all the jobs. So, they’re like,
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“What the [ __ ] am I going to do? What am I going to do with my life?” I love AI. Do you? You’re all in? I’m all in. I love it. What’s your favorite part about it?
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I love it. Joe, because it’s it’s opening a door to creativity for everybody. Now, a lot of
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people are being pessimistic and saying it’s taking away our creativity, but think about any art gallery you’ve ever
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been to. You go in, you see the Renoir, the Dega, the Deli, all the all the usual suspects, Van Go, Goya, all of them. Right.
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Right. Those have all been placed there over the centuries as the art that we all know and have adopted.
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And that came from a select group of individuals very talented um contributed to our culture and art
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history. But it’s a pool of about maybe 200 artists through the course of history. Right
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now, think about a guy you bumped into working in the sprinkler aisle at Home Depot 3 weeks ago who’s got a wife and
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kids and maybe doesn’t have the opportunity or the wherewithal to tap into his artistry.
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But now that guy and the guy at Dunkin Donuts and the girl that works at the car wash and every human being now has a way to express their hidden talents.
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And so with AI, they can go home at the end of the night and press a few buttons and go, I imagined this thing and AI is letting me get it out and the world gets
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to see it. Same with medicine. Same with inventions. How many Elon Musks are there that grew up in poverty and never
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got the chance to expand on a concept or an idea because they didn’t have the means? But if AI starts to open these
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doors for every human being, think of the barrage of incredible visual and conceptual designs that are going to
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come at us. And a lot of them will probably be practical and actually work.
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And the common man and woman didn’t have access to that before.
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That’s one way of looking at it. That’s positive. I love it.
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That’s true. example in my own life. I come from the animation world and I like to write
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and a few years back I pitched an animation idea around Hollywood and it got rejected and so now me and a few of my friends in
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the dawn of AI are creating the same thing that got rejected and we’re going to put it out into the world. We couldn’t have done it two three years ago. It would have cost us $3 million.
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Now we’re doing it for a few thousand and it looks like a Pixar movie. It looks like Pixar. So
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if you tell me that AI isn’t opening a whole new world, I it’s not true. It is.
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It’s letting all of us dig really deep and expose our gifts and our talents.
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And yeah, there’s always the downside, but let’s try and look at the good side of it, too. I like what you’re saying.
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Thank you, Joe. Um the the downside is the people that don’t want to be creative and they want to be accountants or they want to be lawyers or they want
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to like those jobs are going to stop. How about that accountants an accountant because he can never tap into the artistry that hides within them or
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the lawyer. But now after hitting the machines all day, he can go home and go, you know what? I never could have done
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this before, but I’m going to create an image, a painting, a drawing in 10 minutes that I’ve always wanted to show the world. So that’s what I’m saying.
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Even those pessimists can now throw off the demons on their back that are inhibiting them and it’s going to allow all of us to be so much more expressive.
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Okay, that’s my take.
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Well, hopefully. I mean, that’s the question like, what do people do if there’s no more jobs and you just get money from the government because AI
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creates so so many so much abundant resource that no one has to work anymore? Are you going to find things to do that are interesting? And maybe AI is going to help you do that.
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I’ll tell you this, Joe, in probably seven or eight years, I bet we’re sitting here, me and you, going,
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“Remember AI?” Because we’re humans, man. We don’t stop. People think AI is going to be the end of the line. It’s just another
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stepping stone to our progression to where we’re meant to go. You believe in higher forces. I know that. So, this is just one of the step.
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Remember when people thought, I’m not getting a cell phone. I’m not getting on the internet. I don’t want a fax machine. But we just keep going. We’re humans. We keep going up those stairs.
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We’re adventurers. We’re curious. We never stop. And so AI is just another small thing. As big as it seems now, as
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robust as it seems, it’s just a small step in the giant ladder that’s leading this weird species that we are to a a bigger, higher, distant place.
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H look at you, dude. You should do a seminar. I should show my legs again.
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You should tell everybody all these thoughts you have.
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Well, I’m telling right now. We’re sharing them.
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Yeah. But don’t you think all these things we come up with are leading to something where we’re meant to go? Yes.
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I don’t think we’re all just here randomly in wars and fighting and this.
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I think it’s all we’re the worker ants right now. And we’re the platform for the future worker ants to get to the
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pinnacle that we don’t even know what it is yet. And maybe there is no pinnacle.
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But whatever force created us, Joe, they want us to keep going. That’s why we search the oceans and the space and the
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moon and the planets. We’re going to keep going. Yep. And AI is a tool for us to get there.
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So, you can be pessimistic. You can be like, “Oh, AI and all.” But why don’t you just spend your time looking at the positive side of things?
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I agree with you about the direction that we’re going. I think that’s what we’re meant to do. Yeah. Yeah.
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I just think that we are in a time of insane change and that makes people scared. It does. Yeah.
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But you know being scared almost ma also makes us feel alive.
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Think about the most vibrant moments in your life.
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How about after 9/11? Remember those days?
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Oh yeah. People People It’s like someone kicked the ant nest open and we were all scurrying around looking for the eggs. The ants always preserve the eggs.
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Yeah. But those eggs were our lives and our neighbors. We were talking and communicating. We’re friendly with each other. That’s right.
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We realized the importance of of a communal existence.
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We realized the importance of needing each other.
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Yeah. People get very complacent and they need to be shook up every now and then. It’s very good for you.
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And maybe AI, if there’s one downside to it, it could maybe create a bigger cocoon for us because we’ll have so much at our fingertips. It may isolate us even more.
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But but we have to look beyond all these weird parameters we set and go what what’s the upside? What’s it doing for us?
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Well, it’s inevitable and it’s going to happen no matter what. And I think people always figure out a way to be okay. Yeah.
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And I think that’s going to happen and there’s going to be a time of great upheaval and it’s going to change a lot.
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But hopefully people will be all right and they’re going to have to adapt and learn and grow and we always have. And we always have.
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And we always will. And most likely it’ll be better for everybody overall.
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This idea that Elon keeps pushing is universal high income. Is that people will have plenty of money, abundant
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resources, and there’s not going to be a problem of food, shelter, medical, education. All that stuff’s going to go away because of AI. And the real problem
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be what do you decide to do with your life? What do you decide to do with your time? Right?
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But you’ll have the freedom to do whatever you want with your time. Just think about how little crime there’s going to be if there’s abundant resources and no one has to steal
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anymore. No more stealing, no more robbing, and no more poverty. Literally, no more poverty. I don’t know if that’s
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possible or if it is in 50 years or 100 years, but no more poverty is wild. No more poverty is a reality. Criminality,
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I think you have to remember there’s people who don’t engage in criminality to make money. They engage in
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criminality as a passion. A lot of criminals like the process. They like the game playing. They like the herd and
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the and the chess moves. They they like winning. They like deceiving, right? They like drug dealing, right?
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Making a big deal and a submarine shows up in San Diego and you pull the [ __ ] coke bags out. Throw them in the back of a Mercedes. Yeah, you listen to the Miami Vice team. Yeah.
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Or there’s there’s even the the ad adversarial component where they like the idea of killing their competition. Yeah. It’s a war.
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So, I don’t think we’ll ever transcend, you know, the criminal element of it.
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We could we could if we you never know, though.
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If AI develops to the point where we have literal telepathy and we could read each other’s minds, you won’t be able to plot any kind of crimes like that
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anymore. Or, and this is because I think it never ends. Does AI design something
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to help us plot? [sighs] You know what I mean?
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Maybe it just if you’re a criminal, it just puts you in a simulation where you’re allowed to do like Grand Theft Auto, but in real life. Yeah.
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You know, you just lock in and all of a sudden you’re in the streets of Chicago and you’re running down the street with a gun. You shoot a guy and take his Mercedes and
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and he’s just having a good time. But then you come right back to real life and it’s fine. Everything’s fine.
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Yeah. It’s it’s this is what I like that it’s it’s so endless and it it’s going to take so many twists and turns.
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Well, then there’s a question is has that already happened. Are we in a simulation right now?
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Oh yeah. I think we talked about this last time. A lot of people think we are. I don’t believe smarter than me. But can I take you back a second?
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Take me back to the old days.
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Exactly. Picture Pioneer Village. Betty O’ Conor churning some butter down by the blacksmith shop.
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Kyle McGiven shaving timbers to build a log cabin. Amish.
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Do you think that those people who were in covered wagons and were us just the old version of us? Do you think they
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ever pulled the covered wagon to the side of the trail and went, “Hey, Jediah, do you think we’re in a simulation?”
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Like I think we’ve created this simulation talk because we do have all this computer and you know we’re in this
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world now that that’s full of contraptions. Okay, let me ask you.
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But I don’t think we’re we’re we’re in a simulation. But I go ahead.
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Are you sure the pioneer days even happened?
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Wow, you got me. You son of a [ __ ] I’m walking off the show. I’m walking off the show. [laughter] [ __ ] you. And this isn’t a simulation.
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Big rubber legs. Get the [ __ ] out of here.
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[laughter]
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the only guy to walk off your show with fake legs. [laughter] I mean, if you think about it, we think
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that the pioneer days happen. We can go to the museum and we could see pioneer day wheels. And what about the butter churning, Joe? The sweet butter churn.
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There’s a bunch of people that studied it in universities allegedly. If they’re real people, I don’t even know if they’re real. I don’t even know if you’re real. Why would you have rubber
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legs? This doesn’t make sense. You showed up here with rubber pants and a gourd over your [ __ ] That doesn’t make any sense. Do that.
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I don’t even think I’m real anymore. You might not be. Good point. For real. For real.
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I I think we’re real. I I think it’s not a simulation. I don’t know h how how do you make a simulation? Like how what?
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We’re just We’re all like pixels right now and like there’s too much Do you know the uh DMT laser thing? What
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do you mean that like the So when people smoke DMT, apparently if you use like a DeWalt construction laser, you know those lasers they use to make sure things are level.
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Yeah. Yeah.
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If you get above that laser and look down on it, you see code in the laser in the laser like matrix code like the numbers
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code. It’s like and people see the same code. They they describe it exactly the same.
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Okay. And so people see it. If you look to the side, you look underneath it, you look, you see the code in the laser. And people think that this laser is exposing
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the code of the simulation that we live in. This is supposedly what it looks like.
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I [clears throat] mean, I just am not there.
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You see symbols and like weird number. I haven’t done it.
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If I see the whole drum set, I’m in. But if it’s just the symbols, forget it.
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I haven’t done it, but I know a lot of people who have done it. And everyone that I know that’s done it has said the same thing. They said it is [ __ ] insane.
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DMT. No. Yeah. But DMT with this laser thing.
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So when you look down the laser, everybody that I know that’s done it say it blew their [ __ ] mind. You see all these weird symbols. They look like
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hieroglyphs or some foreign language or numbers. And it’s very bizarre.
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I don’t know. It it just seems to me why run us through the drama of a life, a human life where we’re born, we endure
1 hour, 22 minutes, 56 seconds
pain, illness, suffering, love, hate, all the emotions just to be as a simulation.
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I don’t I don’t get the reason for that.
1 hour, 23 minutes, 6 seconds
Why? What’s the reason for it if it’s not a simulation? It’s organic. It’s just organic life. But okay, what is organic?
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It’s made of the earth, born of the environment, right? But isn’t that like this entire computing process where single-sellled organisms figured out how to become
1 hour, 23 minutes, 22 seconds
multi-elled organisms figured out how to interact with their environment, figured out the ecosystem, figured out how to balance itself off with both predator
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and prey and food and water and resources, right? But it’s so very intricate and delicate. You have to bring into the
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question, was it was it organic or organic under the guise of a bigger creator? Well, maybe the bigger creator is the simulation itself.
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Damn it, Rogan. You know, I’m the problem maybe the problem. I’m out.
1 hour, 23 minutes, 53 seconds
Take them rubber legs and get the [ __ ] out of here. Maybe the the problem is calling it a simulation. I like that. Maybe it’s not that it’s not real. Yeah.
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But that there is an underlying program that’s running.
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Maybe instead of thinking of simulation because you think of it as a simulation, you think of it as not real. like my when I slap my arm, it hurts a little.
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Like that’s real, right? If I knock my knee, that hurts.
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But it’s not that it’s not real, but that you’re it’s running a program. And this program, what we talked about earlier when you’re saying that people
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are moving towards something bigger and a new version of what we are. Maybe that’s a part of the program. Maybe the program is that all of these different
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components have to work together. This is why we’ll never get rid of evil. You need evil. so that you appreciate good.
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You want rainy days so you appreciate the sunshine. You want like good times and bad time. You have to have a little bit of bad times so you appreciate the
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good times. You have to have some days where you feel like [ __ ] so that you appreciate good days. You have to have bad friends so you appreciate really good friends. Okay, all that stuff
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balances itself out and it’s moving towards something. And what is it moving towards? The thing that we’re involved in right now, AI. It’s moving towards
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the creation of a new life form that’s far more intelligent than we are and it’s probably a part of this whole process.
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Okay, valid. I like what you just said. But I’m going to expand on it a little. Push through.
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You’re coming at it from a human perspective where you’re channeling it through, you know, a human mind which is
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beautiful and endless and we can think beyond, you know, the scope of who knows where our imaginations end. Uhhuh.
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But that’s cuz we’re humans and we have the capacity. But to the schools of salmon spawning up the river and the the moose fighting with a grizzly bear right
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now and the the the ants running around in their nest. Do you think why would they be part of a simulation? And and I
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don’t think any other living entity thinks simulation.
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I don’t think you have to say simulation. I think it’s a program and I think all those other different creatures are a part of the ecosystem.
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Like you need the bears, you need the salmon, you need the deer, you need the vegetation, you need the animals that that run through the the grasses and
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[ __ ] on them and make manure. All that stuff feeds off and we exist in that thing and we’re moving in this direction
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of technological innovation and moving towards this new future that’s happening right in front of our eyes right now.
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But there’s so many processes in what you just said.
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Why have them all? Why not just plop us down as humans? No.
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And we don’t need trees and grass. We just live in kind of a vacuous vap airspace and we still do our jobs, but
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we don’t Why do we need all the why do we need mosquitoes and and slugs and fungus? Like I know why we need them biologically to make everything
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symbiotic, but if it’s just a You just said it.
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If it’s just a thing, if it’s if it’s not real, why do we need You keep saying that and I’m not saying that. It’s not not that it’s not real. It’s a program. We’re running a program.
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It’s clearly real.
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What is real? What real is you experience it as real consequences for your actions. You feel things. You touch things. You eat. You sleep. You need You have resources. That’s It’s all real.
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You’re asking a guy with fake legs. What’s real? You have a fake tattoo, too. Too. Oh, Billy.
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[laughter]
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I mean, it’s like No, I like this. I like I don’t know if it’s fake, but what I’m saying is it might be a program that runs that makes
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people and those people eventually make AI and that might be the whole purpose of the program. We might be in the middle of it.
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We’re in the middle of it. We were born at a time, you and I were both born at a time where none of this existed. We got to experience life without any of it.
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Remember when answering machines first came around? Yeah. Crazy.
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Yeah. You someone could leave a message for and then the crazy one was answering machines. So you could call your answering machine and get a message
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from another phone. You press in your code and it was like 12 numbers. Yeah.
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And you memorize them cuz we got addicted to it.
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And then you could listen to your messages. Yeah.
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And you could even press pound and star to skip over.
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Yeah. I remember those days. you have five messages like, “Oh, somebody likes me.” I remember I’d go do a gig and the
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second I’d get off a plane, and a lot of your viewers won’t know what this is, I’d run directly to the pay phone in the
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airport and I’d hear my messages instantly.
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Yeah, that was technology back then. We were living on the edge back then. And by the way, I’m not refuting or denying everything you’re saying, but I’m
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pushing back a little because I can see it’s stimulating you to think deeper, and I like hearing your commentary on it. I I like it that you’re you’re
1 hour, 28 minutes, 54 seconds
you’re if I push back a little, it makes you dig deeper to make your point. And I I like it. I like I’m like I like what I’m hearing coming from you.
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Well, I like what you’re saying, too, is about simulation. Like the idea that it’s fake. I don’t think it’s fake.
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I think it’s a real thing. It’s obviously a real thing if we’re experiencing like what is real. Are your dreams real? Yes. Is sleep real? Yes.
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These are real things. Whether or not you can put it on a scale doesn’t mean it’s not real. So I don’t think the simulation term is the best term. I think it’s a program.
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I think we’re running a biological program and we think of biological as being separate from like math and being
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separate from like subatomic particles and the [ __ ] confusing quantum world.
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I don’t think it’s separate from it at all. I think it’s all just one big super complex program that’s running that if
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done properly, and we’re experiencing it right now, it leads to the creation of artificial life. Okay?
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And even artificial life is a bad term because it’s not artificial. It’s real.
1 hour, 29 minutes, 54 seconds
With all that being said, where do you visualize the data center being? If it’s a program, is it off planet? Is it off
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galaxy? Is it invisible? Like, doesn’t there have to be a data center if we’re a program or how does it just whisp itself up?
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The universe itself, I think the universe itself is a program. I think it runs from the beginning of the big bang to the the formation of neutron stars. And I
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had this lady on, Michelle. Uh, how do how do you say her last name?
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Dor. I barely know her. amazing lady like worked for NASA cosmologist where she’s an astronomer
1 hour, 30 minutes, 34 seconds
and uh we were talking about like neutron stars like the insanity of neutron stars and how they bend space and time they warp gravity around them
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it’s like these things all exist out there in the universe and they’re all I think it’s all a part of this program and I think this program is running
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on other planets I think there’s other life forms that are doing very similar things look I I like the debate I like your take on it.
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I I I just still struggle with the the the technicality of it all. Uhhuh.
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But the technicality of it all, if it’s just biological life, let’s say it’s just random.
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All this stuff is random. Water rain down, bacteria turned into [ __ ] amiebas, platypuses, whatever.
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It all just happened slowly but surely.
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That makes less sense. That makes less sense than uh a slow program that’s
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running from literally the beginning of single-sellled organisms, literally the beginning of the formation of planets.
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That this is like a natural cycle that happens everywhere in the universe. And there’s a reason why these these suns spin around and spit out plasma and that that stuff coales in space.
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Yeah. Yeah. Coales in space. Yeah.
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You know, um um Terrence Howard, the the actor, very excited. He was here, very eccentric guy. Yeah.
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He had a a theory that I can’t stop thinking about. What is it?
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He thinks that planets are formed because the suns eject particles over time and that these stars eject. We see
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those the big plasma ejections and the big solar. He thinks that material eventually gets out into space
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eventually forms planets. And then he says when the planets get further from the sun, further enough from the sun, they people.
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And he thinks that’s what what happens to Earth.
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You get a certain distance and then life evolves and then intelligent life evolves and then eventually these planets people and then when they get
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too far from the sun they can no longer support intelligent life. They can no longer support life. So then the people
1 hour, 32 minutes, 38 seconds
have to get intelligent enough by the time the planet’s far enough away where they’ve figured out a way to bypass all the problems of living on a planet that
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doesn’t have an environment and living on a planet that doesn’t have water. They’ve [snorts] bypassed all that.
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Yeah, they’ve moved into the next realm of existence and now they can travel interstellar and do all that kind of crazy. I wouldn’t refute that theory.
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It’s a good theory.
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I think it’s a good theory. I mean, it could explain how we’re even here, you know?
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Yeah. It also could explain the weird [ __ ] on Mars. Wait a minute.
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That Mars at one point in time might have had life.
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Yeah. The dry lake beds and the No, the structures. Have you ever seen the structures on Mars? Oh, that face. No. Have you seen the big square? No.
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Okay, Jame, I’ll show you. There’s this weird uh thing on Mars that, by the way, it’s in the same area of Sidonia where
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that face is. The face doesn’t look like a face to me.
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It’s more shadowy. It’s the shadows that make it look like a face. I think it looked like a face in the early images, but this stuff is [ __ ] weird.
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Like, that’s weird. Is that the Glendale Galleria?
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It is, but God 5 million years ago on Mars.
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So you’re you’re saying because geometrically it’s a perfect square, you think it’s a look what that looks like, man. That’s
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nuts. Like when when do right angles like that that are in the same distance from each other ever exist in nature? That’s crazy.
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And if they determine what those bumps are or those rock structures or they don’t know they don’t even know how big it is because it’s somewhere it’s
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between 300 m is like the the small estimate, but it might be as far as like a couple of miles. Yeah, they don’t know how big it is. Look at that thing. What the [ __ ] is that?
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Yeah.
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What the [ __ ] is that? There’s a bunch of these things on Mars that are just really weird. And if at one point in
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time, I’m talking millions of years ago, hundreds of millions, who knows? Yeah. How much would be left? Yeah.
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You know, how many um let’s put this into uh perplexity, Jamie. How many ancient civilizations have
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myths about or instead of do any how about this? Not not how many. Do any ancient civilizations have myths about Mars?
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Have myths about Mars? It’s perfectly feasible. Totally feasible. Yeah.
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Like if you think about it, several ancient civilizations have myths or religious associations tied to Mars, usually because they saw it as a bright
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reddish and sometimes ominous plan. Hey, don’t mansplain to me, bro. Ancient Romans identified Mars with their god of war.
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Okay. Do any um ancient civilizations have a myth about people coming from Mars?
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How about that? Wow.
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See if that is um do any have myths about humans coming from Mars? You could just do a follow-up question at the bottom there.
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Here we go. What do you think? Yes. Wow.
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Here it goes. No. Ancient civilizations did not have myths about humans or people coming from Mars. While Mars has been central to mythology across many
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cultures, these myths focus on Mars as a deity or celestial object, not as humanity’s origin point. What is that one um tribe? Is the the Doon people?
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They have a um a weird origin story from another planet. The Doons.
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Yeah. Do tribe origin story. I don’t know. I don’t know. The Doons.
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Wow. Um, I think it’s somewhere in Africa. Sounds like Sounds like they’re broke.
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Whoever they are, Mali, they have a complex creation myth centered around Amna, the supreme creator god who lived in the celestial
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regions as was the origin of all creation. In their cosmology, the stars resent Amma’s bodily parts with the
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constellation Orion called the seat of heaven or Amma’s navl.
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And so I think they have this origin story from Whoa. What is this? Descended to earth in an arc suspended from heaven by a copper chain. Whoa.
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Okay, look at this. According to Doon mythology, Amma created the earth and then split himself in two, creating Ogo, representing disorder, and Nommo
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representing order. Ogo descended to earth along the Milky Way al uh with which the Doon believe connects heaven
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and earth and created havoc. To restore balance, Amma created Nommo and gave him eight assistants consisting of four
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pairs of twins. These eight beings, also called the Nommo, became the ancestors of the Doon people and descended to
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Earth in an ark suspended from heaven by a copper chain.
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Okay, what was that story about? I think we’re accidentally reading a children’s book, Joe. The Ogo pe what? The Doon people. The Ogo and the Pogos.
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Yeah, this is But what do you I think there’s a lot of people that have like weird origin stories that involve extraterrestrial life.
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Yeah. I mean, there is.
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I mean, are you running that through human evolution?
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Yes. Because if you run it through human evolution, extraterrestrial life doesn’t not
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necessarily match up with like homoctus and, you know, Neanderthal man and things like that.
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In what way? Well, I I get the sense that extraterrestrial life is far more advanced and technological going back to
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what you were talking about at the bottom of the ocean, whereas our ancestors were primal, right?
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So, how do the two collide? I’m a bit confused. Well, what if they created us?
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They created us as primates and watched us evolve as an experiment.
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Yeah. What if you like, let’s imagine this. We talked about like if we if we showed up and we went found a planet and it was filled with like ancient primates
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like ancient hairy men that had just figured out the stone tools. Okay, let’s go to the early days. I’m with you. I’m right there, guy.
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Do you think let’s not say American scientists, we would never do this. But do you think perhaps like Chinese or Russian scientists might do some things
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with them and try to make them more advanced in terms of biological experimentation engineering genetic engineering?
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I don’t know. I be I mean I will answer for you. Yes. You think they would? 100% for sure. They’re just cave people.
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They don’t even have any civilization.
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We let’s just do whatever we want to them because we’re far more advanced. Do you know that there was a point in time where the Russians were experimenting with people and trying to make a human chimpanzeee hybrid for war?
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Is that right? Yeah. This is after World War II. They were trying to make hybrids.
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So, so many Russians died during World War II. I mean, Russia lost a lot of [ __ ] people in World War II.
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And there was a program that like they do a lot of things where they they just run it up the chain like what do you think? What if we do this? What if we do
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that? You know, what if we make a nuclear bomb? What if we make a a plane that doesn’t have any radar signal? What if we make instead of our soldiers
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dying, what if we make a hybrid just for war? We know chimpanzees are incredibly strong and they’re smart and they’re
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very violent. So, what if we made an incredibly strong, very violent species that’s more intelligent than chimpanzees
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and we can control them and we’ll use them as our soldiers?
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But that seems like a lot of work for something that’s hiding behind a a modern weapon. Because whether you have
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a an insane chimpanzee behind a machine gun or a guy that was an accountant and got drafted, it seems like the weapons
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doing the work, not the biological entity.
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Yeah. But if the chimp’s stronger and faster and they can get to places where the accountant can’t and they can charge
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into them in the middle of the night because they could see at night time, there’s a lot of things that you could do with chimps that were hybrids. Yeah.
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Like what did they what was the extent of that program? Let’s find out.
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I’m looking it up right now. But he the guy that did it was also then arrested.
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I’m trying to figure out well like of course he was arrested [laughter] as a [ __ ] psychopath.
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Well, he was his name Dr. Maro ring a bell. It says he was funded by Soviet authorities to set up experiments. I’m like, well, were these private, you know, or did official?
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Well, I I would imagine if I was the leader of Russia at the time and this
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guy said, uh, Mr. Prime Minister, I have a program I am currently considering in
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operation where I will be able to make soldiers that are increasingly strong, much faster, that retain human
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characteristics like the ability to communicate and to engage in warfare with weaponry. But they will be much
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faster, much stronger, and more importantly, not people. We won’t mourn for them like our brothers and sisters.
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We will breed them in laboratories. We will make millions of them, arm them, and send them out against our enemies.
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[snorts]
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Are you coming on to me a little bit? I got hard talking that. So this Wow.
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So he successfully did a bunch of stuff in the early 1900s. What? Successfully.
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But not not any human hybrids, other animals.
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So they say he was a pioneer in artificial insemination as well. He conducted experiments that involved artificially
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inseminating horses to create superior offspring for Imperial Russia. And this work earned him recognition from the Boleviks. Ivanov was not satisfied with
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merely enhancing a species. Though hybridization became his obsession, and he was soon crossing zebras with donkeys, cows with bison, and several
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different species of rodents with each other. In 1910, he brashly declared he could see a human ape hybrid
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in the future. Isn’t this gene splicing though? Have you ever heard of a liger?
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But ligers are just hybrids. It’s just they breed with each other. A male tiger and a female lion or the opposite. I don’t forget which one it was.
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But but the problem is the reason why ligers are so big, it’s I think it’s the either the male tiger or the male lion, whichever one it is, the male has the
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gene um that regulates size. And when they have the hybrid, that gene doesn’t doesn’t transfer. And so the liers just keep growing.
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[ __ ] gigantic. I might have [ __ ]
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that up, but I don’t think I did. Even off imported chimps to Russia, inseminating unpaid Soviet women with their sperm.
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Unpaid, though none conceive because humans and chimp chromosomes are incompatible. Interesting.
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Imagine you’re a [ __ ] Soviet lady and you’re like, “What is this job?” You lie down with your legs open and we stick
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something inside of you and you get a loaf of bread. [laughter] What the [ __ ] man? They give you the abominable snowman in your womb.
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How much did they know about genes back then? Genes and chromosomes. So, what year was this? 1920ish.
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Did they when did they discover chromosomes?
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As of yesterday, we just they might not have even known helium was on Earth, right? That’s right. That’s right.
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Yeah. They thought helium was only in the sun. Um, wow. When did they discover chromosomes? Let’s find that out.
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Let’s take a guess. Haron, I’m gonna say I’m gonna say in the 40s.
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I’m gonna go a little later. I’m going to say 50s. Okay. I’m going to say 57. I’m going to say 42.
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I am purely guessing though. I have no idea.
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Yeah. the what you mean by that is kind of that’s very vague because like they could have known about them but like to what detail
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and how many there were and what well let’s just um just put that in perspective I did but like it’s giving a vague answer in the 1800s they sort of
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knew about it but to what detail is until the 1900 okay chromosomes were first observed as distinct structures in the cell nuclei
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in the 1800s well that’s pretty distinct they’re talking about in the cell structure so they must have been looking at them with microscopes
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um once good light microscopes became available. So that’s the 1800s. Their role as carriers of hereditary information was not clarified until the
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early 1900s through work linking chromosomes to Mandel’s law of inheritance.
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That’s 100 years of guessing. Imagine what we’re guessing about now that we don’t know about. So it could mean any they could have been completely wrong
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for 35 years and then sort of closed for 10 and wrong again for 20 and then like oh nope that’s what it is.
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Yeah. Wild, right? It’s wild how long it took.
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Well, see, this is in comparison to today.
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This goes back to AI, Joe, giving access to the average person to be able to dig into this stuff because it might be the
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guy in aisle 12 at Home Depot who discovers some of these probing answers, you know?
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Yeah, definitely. That’s why he might be like, you know, hitting a bong sitting at home talking to Chad [snorts] GPT and go, “Bro, yeah,
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tell me how to make a human monkey hybrid.” Exactly.
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So this guy, um, so it was in Pull that I was reading about him. This started to say the American backers started sending him some money, too. And I was trying, of course, I was trying to figure out
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they want to get those [ __ ] crazy chimp people, too.
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Call me crazy, but I get the feeling you would like to see one of those 100%.
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Cuz physically it would have to look incredible.
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It would be insane. Imagine if you get a like a Viking like a Brock Lesnar gene and you splice it with a chimpanzeee gene. Yeah.
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You have a giant like Thor from Game of Thrones the mountain from Game of Thrones. Imagine that guy splicing that guy’s jeans with a chimpanzeee’s jeans.
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Well, you keep going to chimp, but what about a silverback gorilla, which is even They’re not violent.
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Yeah, they’re they’re very calm, actually.
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They eat vegetables. They’re they’re vegans.
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Whereas chimps are pack hunters. They eat other monkeys. Mhm. Yeah. They’re way more violent.
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They’re way more like us. We’re way closer to chimps than we are to gorillas. Yeah, we are.
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Yeah, we’re we’re closer in our behavior. Like they they engage in war.
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They have tribal war. They go after tribes. They break off and find they start new civilizations.
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But if you’re splicing two entities together, you’ve got the human brain that’s, you know, we’re sort of wired to
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be violent, but you just take the physicality of the silver back and marry them together. They’re they’re just as wired to be violent as we are, buddy.
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What? Chimps?
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No, I’m saying the silverback. You then you have a bigger physical body with our minds.
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But maybe they’ll just chill like the gorillas do. [laughter] They just go to Miami.
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New delivery of chimps to a nursery in 1930. But in the light of the questionable ethics and zero progress, Ianov was arrested and exiled to
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Kazakhstan where he died two years later. Some of the apes and monkeys that outlived him were launched into space
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with the sputnik missions. You imagine, you imagine you’re an ape. First they make you [ __ ] some lady and then they
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shoot you off into space. Well, you were just eating bananas, having a good time in the jungle being a regular chimpanzeee and these [ __ ] or
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you [ __ ] some janitor and then shoot you into space.
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They successfully implanted an ovary in a few of them. Oh god, [ __ ] psychos.
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Jesus Christ. Yeah, they’ve done over the course of history, the Germans, the Japanese, the Chinese in times of war,
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they did the most horrific experimentation. They they did everything you could do. They they’d see how long it would take for a human body
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to die if you boiled it and skin people and the the things that have been done, the aberrations that have happened are crazy. But this is this is interesting.
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This is almost the basis for a movie, I think. Well, it could absolutely happen today.
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This is where it gets weird because now with crisper and with gene editing, how many years are we away from them being actually able to do that?
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Actually able to take whatever genes you have in a person, whatever genes you have in a chimpanzeee, pick which ones,
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which things you want to do, and make a life form. I like it.
1 hour, 49 minutes, 21 seconds
You know, they have the dire wolves now, right? Yeah, the dire wolves. I saw them. I went to visit them.
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You did. Are they pure? Are they 100% pure? Are they are are they a version of a modern-day wolf mixed with a dire
1 hour, 49 minutes, 32 seconds
wolf? It’s a really good question. So, that is the question that people uh always use to dismiss or that is the
1 hour, 49 minutes, 41 seconds
statement that people use to dismiss what they’ve done as actually creating direwolves. But when I talked to the woman who’s the head geneticist, the way she said is
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these distinctions like what we call something a direwolf or we call something a pug or we call whatever these distinctions are, these are our creations and that the genetics are the same.
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Like this animal looks like a direwolf cuz it is a a direwolf and some of those genes are in wolves. Some of those genes
1 hour, 50 minutes, 9 seconds
are in the biological tissue that they got from like thousand. Like how old was the tissue that they got from a direwolf
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that they used for colossal? I feel like some of it was like 10,000 years old. Like something crazy.
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Where did they find that tissue? What country they find in America? You get it in um like when they find fossil or they find
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like a dead animal, they find something that they can get out of it where they can get some DNA. And they’ve managed to get the actual DNA of a direwolf.
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So 13,000 years old, a tooth from Sheridan Pit, Ohio, and a 72,000y old skull from American Falls, Idaho.
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So wow. So they get the genes. They make a map.
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I’m just I’m butchering this. I’m sorry if you’re a scientist. I’m sorry to all the people at Colossal. You make a map of what it means to be a direwolf based on this stuff because you have these
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samples. And then you choose those genes. You add those genes to a greywolf and then you turn it into a [ __ ]
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direwolf and they’re all white and they have a mane like a lion which they didn’t know they were going to have.
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Like not as big as a lion but it’s it’s a pronounced mane. Huh.
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And they look different, man. They’re weird.
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Are they bigger in size? Cuz they were semi-prehistoric.
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They’re bigger. They’re just a It’s a big bigger than a timber wolf. Yes. Wow.
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Yeah. They’re like a 200lb wolf and they’re built different. They’re built different. Like they’re they’re more stocky and they look different. What’s
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their jaw structure like? Is it different? Bigger. Bigger. Stronger. They’re there.
1 hour, 51 minutes, 36 seconds
It’s a bigger, more ferocious animal that lived at a time where it was What does the term dire mean? Do we know? Dire wolf.
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That’s a good question. What is dire?
1 hour, 51 minutes, 46 seconds
Let’s find out why they call them dire wolves. I have no idea. It just sounds dope.
1 hour, 51 minutes, 50 seconds
I wonder if they ever get sick if they become diarrhea wolves. Is that where you go with that?
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No, I really do want to know. That just came to me. That just came to me.
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[laughter]
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But I do want to know where dire comes from. What it means.
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Fearful or terrible. The Latin words dyrus meaning feel fearful or terrible or awe inspiringly dreadful. Bro, back
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then when those things were around and people were around at the same time, you imagine how [ __ ] rough it would be.
1 hour, 52 minutes, 17 seconds
You’re in the woods and you’re camping out with your buddy and you see a pack of direwolves that have recognized you and you know it’s over.
1 hour, 52 minutes, 23 seconds
Well, the thing with wolves though, Joe, and you probably know this, wolves traditionally don’t hunt down humans. That’s not true. Huh? That’s not true at all.
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I don’t know. Is there any record of a human being killed by a wolf? 100%. There’s record in modern times.
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Oh, that’s not true. They That’s the reason why they eradicated him from the West Coast.
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I thought that was because they were they were nabbing the cattle. No, they were killing people, too.
1 hour, 52 minutes, 46 seconds
That’s what the big bad wolf and the little red body hood is all about. They would kill your kids. That’s those stories were about avoiding wolves because wolves were dangerous. They’re
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deadly. Do you know that World War I the Russians and the Germans had a ceasefire because so many of them were getting killed by wolves in Siberia really that
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they decided to have a ceasefire, kill the wolves and then go back to killing each other.
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Cuz my experience is wolves are very trepidacious of humans. They fear them and and avoid them cuz we killed most of them.
1 hour, 53 minutes, 14 seconds
But that wouldn’t change their hunting instinct now if there were still packs roaming wild and free. You don’t kill
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the instinct out of them cuz then you’d kill their instinct to kill an elk. Or if you’ve seen wolves, you’ve seen wolves in Canada.
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Yeah. They hunt them in Canada. Yeah. Yeah. That’s why they’re trepidacious. That’s why they’re nervous about people.
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Can we look up how many humans have been killed by wolves?
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Very rare. Mostly happened in Europe and Asia. Yeah. See, it’s not common.
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It’s because we killed them all, Harland. They’re not around anymore.
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That’s the whole point. The reason why they got killed off was because they were a [ __ ] problem. It’s not because, you know, people were evil and it was a terrible idea. It’s because
1 hour, 53 minutes, 55 seconds
they wanted to live and they knew that the wolves were [ __ ] killing everybody.
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I think the problem was they were killing their domestic cattle 100%. But not the people so much. People too. Really?
1 hour, 54 minutes, 7 seconds
Yeah. They kill They don’t have rules, man. They But they’re also Think of it.
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Every living species. Why is it I can go to a park and a blue jay and a squirrel
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and a deer and a bunny can be just fine, completely different species, but then a little boy walks up a human and they all
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just go. There’s this driven instinct in all animals to fear us, which breaks my heart because most of us are loving and
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want to coddle and connect with animals, but even insects, dragon flies, hummingbirds, nothing wants to be near
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us. And so wolves also, all animals are trepidacious of humans. It’s sad, but
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it’s true. And if that’s part of the bigger program we’ve been talking about, what does it say about us?
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First of all, animals are not trepidacious of humans.
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Have you ever walked up to a wild animal? I’ve walked up to a lot of wild animals.
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I know that you’re being silly, but I’m not being silly.
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Okay, so realistically, all those animals you said, blue jay, deer, those are all animals that eat plants. Okay.
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If a dog showed up, they would run. Any animal that’s a pri that’s that’s a predator is going to scare them. Whether it’s a human, we have eyes in front of
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our face. The reason why you have eyes in front of your face like that is cuz you’re looking to go after something.
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When you have eyes on the side of your face, you’re looking for something to go after you. So all those animals like deer and all these little cute little
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animals, they’re all prey and they’re all like super sketchy with anything that has eyes in front of its face, it’s looking at them cuz we are a [ __ ]
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predator. But it would be the same if it was a coyote there. It would be the same if a dog was there. If a cat or a big cat or a lion was there, if they saw it,
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they would all freak out because they’re prey.
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Now, wolves have killed people. Fact, 100% all throughout time. If they catch you alone,
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they catch you in the woods. And if it’s you and five of them, they will kill you.
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It’s it’s it’s we’re not on their dietary list though. Look at killer whales. Never been a human killed by a killer whale.
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Only at SeaWorld, right? Because they Well, that’s different.
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So why? That’s a living mammal. And there’s millions of people in the ocean every day. But there’s no record of an orca killing a human because they’re trepidacious of us.
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No, they’re super intelligent. And wolves and coyotes.
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They’re not trepidacious of us. They help us. They communicate with play with you.
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I know, but I’m just saying it’s not common for wolves and apex predators to go after humans. It happens, but it’s
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not common. And wolves, they’re very skittish animals.
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Okay? They’re skittish if they’re around people and they think the people might have a gun. If you’re in the woods, wolves are not skittish of you. They’re
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thinking about what they’re going to do to you and whether or not they’re going to eat you. If you have a rifle and you’re in the woods and they hear the boom go off, they’re gonna get the [ __ ] away from you.
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They don’t know what a rifle is. I’m just saying there’s an extin an instinctual fear of humans for whatever reason. Dude, it’s not true.
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Most critters avoid us. Even fish, if you avoid all pre predators. All of them. Yeah, but look at the plains of Africa.
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You’ll see a wilderbeast and a zebra.
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If you walked out in the wild of Africa, you’re done. Yeah.
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Yeah. Because you have lions, leopards, your prey there. Yeah. All those animals are freaking out too until one gets
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taken out. This is the Joseph Campbell story of the hero. Like one gets taken out and the other one’s go, “Wow, he did
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it for us.” Because when the the lions are eating that one antelope, they’re going to leave you alone. You could relax for a little bit.
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Yeah, that’s what it is.
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I’m just saying they’re never calm around lions. They run. That’s why they run, right? But I’m just saying wolves are
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probably more inclined to step around us than attack us.
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They are more inclined to do whatever they need to do to survive. They will. They’re opportunists.
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And if it’s attacking your sheep, then they’ll attack your sheep. If it’s killing your dog, they’ll kill your dog.
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If it’s killing you, if you’re 20 miles into the back country and you’re camping alone and you don’t have a weapon and a pack of wolves shows up and they haven’t
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had anything to eat for a few days, they’ll take you down. They’ll take you down.
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But I’m just saying I’m I’m I’m just trying to instill into you with all this programming talk, there’s something
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programmed into all the other species on this planet. They go, “Whoa, there’s a [ __ ] human.” You’re wrong.
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And they step around us a lot. Not that they won’t kill us, but they It’s anything that’s coming near them, they get away from.
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The reason why they’re scared of people is cuz they have experience with people. That’s what it is. Yes, wolves do.
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Wolves in Canada that get shot at are afraid of people. They know that people have the guns. The guns make the boom. They’re smart. They a bunch of them die.
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They see one of them die. They learn that they see the gun. They see the stick. They run away from the guys. So, they stay away from people cuz people might kill their family members, their pack members. It happens.
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I think we’re on this one.
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No. Listen, there’s a difference between the way bears react in say Alaska than bears react in Montana. So in Montana,
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you can’t hunt grizzly bears. So grizzly bears are not afraid of people because generation after generation after generation have not been hunted. When when bears see you in Alaska, that’s
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generation after generation that have been hunted and they react very differently. They’re like, “Get the [ __ ] away from the people.” Right. But unless they don’t know you have a gun
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and sometimes you have to scare them off. But if they’re used to being around people with guns, they associate people with danger. Yeah. That’s kind of Pavlovian though.
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That’s when they’re not. When they’re not like in Montana, but in raw wild, bears are quite skittish.
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I’ve been around them. I have too, man. It depends on the bear.
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It depends on whether it’s a mother with her cubs. They’re not skittish. They’re not skittish. They [ __ ] you up.
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They’re they’re protective. They’re They’re no longer hunting. But I’m just saying that there’s an element to sadly
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our human existence that scares a lot of critters. A most animals can exist
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together in the same area. And yeah, when a when an apex predator approaches, the zebras will run. But if you look at
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the hoofed animals and the hippos and the everything kind of coexists, but when a human walks in, you know, we
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can’t walk up to critters and just pet them. You can in the Gapagos. Okay. Are we? No.
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Are we having a fight? No, but a lion can’t walk up to a desert and pet my legs around you so fast.
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It’s not uniquely humans, man. It’s all animals are worried about something that wants to eat them because that’s a real part of their existence. It’s all
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animals. If you let your dog loose and you let it around wild animals, they [ __ ] run like crazy, man. They run way more than they do with a person.
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Let me rephrase it. If a wild animal comes up on a deer, a predator prey scenario, uh,
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instinctually they know a predator goes into stalking mode, the deer’s gone, right?
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But if a human, me or you, go, “Oh, look at the deer and we try to walk towards it with nothing but love and affection
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and we just want to pet it and it’s gone.” And that’s what I’m saying.
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You’re not saying [ __ ] because a dog, the same thing would happen. You’re not making any sense.
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Yes, of course the deer doesn’t want you to pet them. It doesn’t [ __ ] know you, man. What are you nuts? Right. But it they just they just flee.
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They don’t flee like they do with dogs.
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A squirrel.
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I have I have deer in my neighborhood and when they see me, they don’t give a [ __ ] They don’t care about your car.
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You’re you’re driving in a car. You could stop the car and roll the window down and go, “Hello, Mr. Deer.” And they just [ __ ] stare at you. Animals are like that.
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They saw a dog, they would [ __ ] run.
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They run like crazy. Even my golden retriever, my sweet golden retriever marshall. Yeah. They run like crazy from him. They blow. They make those crazy noise.
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They [ __ ] take off. They stamp their feet. Yeah. They’re scared of predators, dude.
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They’re not scared of people in my neighborhood cuz no one’s eating them in my neighborhood. It’s their conditioning. I don’t know. I’m just talking.
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You’re just stick You’re stuck on an idea. [laughter] The people are bad. The people are uniquely bad. I wish we could just go hug the porcupine.
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I’m not saying people are bad. I’m saying that animals have something in their brain that they don’t trust us cuz we’re the apex. We’re the top of the food chain.
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But it’s it’s it’s just sad that it’s not it’s way better than being at the bottom of the food chain. Way better than us like [ __ ] wandering through the woods if your kids are going to get
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eaten by a [ __ ] wolf cuz some greeny [ __ ] decided to import them back into the wild. We need to rewolves are back in the wild.
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You know, they just dropped him off in Aspen. These dumb [ __ ] They dropped him off on a cattle ranch and all they’re doing is eating cows. So now
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they have to have cowboys 24/7 riding horses because the governor’s husband thought it would be a cute idea to drop off wolves in Colorado. And they
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reintroduced him to an area that has agriculture. They reintroduced him to ranching areas.
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Wow. You don’t [ __ ] wolves. They’ve killed who knows how many cows. The government has to reimburse them every time a cow dies.
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They keep killing cows. They’re not allowed to kill the wolves. The wolves are around them 24 hours a day just circling. [laughter]
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So they have cowboys on horses all throughout the night. They’ve got fires. They have to keep people employed.
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But outside of the cattle poaching critters. Are you for reintroducing and repopulating areas of the
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First of all, wolves were making their way into Colorado naturally. They’re already in the San Juan Mountains.
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They’re they’re moving in from Wyoming where they live naturally. And when they reintroduced him into Montana, those have spread out all over the place.
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There’s plenty of [ __ ] wolves, man. There’s a lot of wolves in Montana, too. You don’t like wolves.
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I don’t think you want wolves. I don’t think you understand what you’re saying.
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You You You’re talking about a pack predator. It’s very different than any other predator. They work together in coordination and they’re smart. And if once they It’s not like a mountain lion.
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It’s not like a thing that acts alone.
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Once they figure out that the cows are in these wooden pens, and they could just hop the pen, kill a cow, and that’s it, they’re going to do it forever,
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right? But take out the poaching wolves, but the ones that are reintroduced and assimilate in raw nature,
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I think those are crucial and important to that ecosystem.
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It is crucial to have balance. And there’s there’s some aspects of having the wolves back in Montana that’s actually better for the elk population.
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It is cuz the elk population was very overpop populated at one point in time. They had um seasons where they were allowing
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people to shoot them in the snow um in the winter. So like there was so many of them when they’re in the snow like deep snow they can’t run. So you basically
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wolves no the elk elk because before they reintroduced the wolves they had so many elk that these elks were running out of resources.
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Yeah.
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And they they realized like they’re so overpop populated. We’re gonna allow you to shoot them in ways that’s not even remotely sporting. Yeah. They’re stuck
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in snow called culling.
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Yeah. Just taking as many out of the population as you can. Yeah. And look, for the people that live there, it’s amazing. You’re eating elk
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12 months out of the year. You got a freezer. It’s [ __ ] delicious. How dare you? No, I mean if you eat it all the time.
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But don’t forget the wolves also preserve the whole ecosystem because the overpopulation of elks were eating so
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much of the flora that the sides of river banks were eroding.
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You’re you’re quoting a a documentary called How Wolves Changed Rivers, right?
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Yeah. Widely disputed. So a lot of the stuff they’re saying is not accurate in that documentary. that what is accurate is that balance is important. But a lot
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of the things are very overstated in that and it turns out to not be true.
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Not no a lot of the claims are not true because interesting there you can have a pro and the pro is
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it keeps the population in check and it puts a natural balance to to the area. That’s the pro. Yeah.
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This whole changing rivers thing like some of it’s accurate, some of it’s not.
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Yeah. But there’s it’s the apparently that documentary was made by a guy who’s into rewing and he also wants to rew
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Europe. So like these it’s very romantic this idea. Okay.
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But there is positive to having a balanced ecosystem.
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There is not positive when wolves get overpopulated. When wolves get overpop populated, that’s what you get when you had Russia and Germany having a [ __ ]
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ceasefire in World War I. Because they were losing so many soldiers to wolves.
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They all united together to kill the wolves. That’s a true story.
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But do you ever live in a world where you go, “The wolves are part of the natural world the same way the bison were on the
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Great Plains before they eradicated them.” You don’t have kids. No. Okay.
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Imagine if you had kids and you were walking with your kids and you saw three wolves following you. Yeah.
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And you didn’t have a gun. How would you feel about those wolves when you thought, “Oh my god, we might get taken out by wolves.” And I just thought they were these cute fuzzy things that were a part of nature.
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Oh, I don’t think of them as wilderness.
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I don’t think of them as that. They’re amazing. We need that.
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I worked in nature. I’ve been around wolves. I know them. I am on team people.
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You are 100%. 100% team people. I love all animals. I love them all, but I love
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people way more. If it was between a person that I [ __ ] hate that it feels a real piece of [ __ ] and I knew that
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they’re going to get taken out by a wolf, but I had a rifle, I’d kill the [ __ ] wolf 100% of the time cuz I’m on team people.
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This whole idea like the animals are scared of us. Good. Be scared, [ __ ] It doesn’t mean you should do anything bad to those animals, but good, good, be scared.
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But Joe is trying to eat my kids. Isn’t it team people that’s eradicating all the animals as we encroach deeper and
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deeper into the Amazon jungle, the African plains? We’re losing. Look at the American bison. There used to be
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millions of them hurt hering across the prairies and now there’s isolated pockets. Look at the elephant herds.
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Look at look at the silverback gorilla.
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Look at there’s so many things that are losing to team people that we might not have Siberian tigers in 30 years.
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I’m not saying you should go and kill these endangered animals. I don’t say that.
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We’re not always. That’s not true. First of all, the bison thing was not because of encroaching. The bison thing was because of sport hunting where these people were like they were doing it not
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even sport hunting, market hunting. They were doing it for tongues.
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Do you know that’s what they were getting? They were chopping out their tongues. All that delicious bison meat, they let it rot. And then they were doing it for furs and then they were
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doing it for bones. Like what this is is like people [snorts] were [ __ ] insane. And rifles were fairly new and
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long range rifles are fairly new in human history. And then all a sudden you got people on trains and you’ve got these insane. Now here’s where it gets really weird.
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Um what’s Dan’s Dan Flores? There’s a guy named Dan Flores who wrote a book on bison and he has a theory. It’s a really
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good one. Yeah. That the reason why there were so many bison on the planes was because of all the Native Americans that got wiped out by disease.
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And it totally coincides with it because the original explorers that came to America in like the 1400s, they did not
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describe these enormous population of bison where you would see millions of them on a prairie. He thinks that that
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came about because literally when the Europeans visited Native America, the Native Americans, 90% of the Native
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Americans died because of disease, right? 90%. I mean, a true apocalypse.
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Imagine nine out of 10 Native Americans dead. Yeah.
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Because of disease. Well, that means no one’s hunting the bison, right? But they So, that was their that was a primary food source for a lot of the Native
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Americans. And it wouldn’t take many generations for them if that was the thing that was keeping them in population. If they have a balanced ecosystem and the population was
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literally being controlled by these effective North American hunters. Yeah.
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And all of a sudden they’re gone. The population just booms. And that’s what he was saying.
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And then along comes the people with the rifles. And then the people with the rifles, they’re finding these sitting ducks just sitting out there. And they say, “There’s so many of them. We could
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just shoot as many as we want. We never have to worry about it.” And they’re shooting him for tongues. Yeah. Tongues.
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Have you ever heard of Buffalo Head Smashed In? Buffalo Head Smashed In. Yeah. What’s that?
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It’s a town in Alberta.
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That’s the real name of the town. It’s the real name of the town where on the planes there there was an optical illusion where it looked like the the
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hills just kept going but there was a cliff and the Indians would chase the bison
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along the plains and they didn’t know it and at the end they’d they’d all run over the thing and the Indians would be waiting at the bottom and kill the bison
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but they named the place Buffalo Head smashed in. Oh wow. Look at this. Isn’t that wild? Wow.
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So, the bison thought they’re running on a flat plane and they couldn’t see the change in the perspective, so they’d run right over the edge.
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They did that a bunch of places in North American.
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In North America, they did um there’s one of them where they killed so many bison that the rotting of them caused them to burst into flames.
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Yeah.
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And so, you know about that one?
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Yeah. That’s like with whales when they blow up. Yeah. They explode.
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The whole side of the hill is like black with coal. Oh yeah.
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Because they they popped that the imagine the [ __ ] smell of something where it gets so bad they burst into flames.
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Bro, [laughter] what the [ __ ] Instant Texas barbecue.
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So they the Native Americans when they were really good at hunting doing stuff like that. I mean they’re feasting.
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They’re eating the best meat and they’re keeping the population in check. Now, when they all died of disease, that population stopped being in check. And
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this is Dan Flores. I think it’s called, see if you could find the name of it, Jamie. I think it’s called bison diplomacy. Bison ecology. I think that’s what it’s called.
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Nature also provides disease when there is no humans around. Okay. Like long before the Indians started hunting buffalo, there were buffalo.
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Yeah. Bison ecology and bison diplomacy.
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It’s a very interesting paper. He was a professor of history at Texas Tech. Um, very very good book and and he’s got
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another great book on coyotes. Coyote America’s fantast.
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I think it’s more. So, at what point are you still a fan of team human when more and more of team animal is being
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eradicated? And I’m not trying to say we should what animals what animals are being eradicated right now.
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Well, I just explained how the the herds of elephants have shrunk down to this. Tigers are down to a few thousand.
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And a lot of silverback gorillas are down to like a few hundred. Like a lot Okay. A lot of that is not encroaching. It’s illegal poaching.
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But it’s also encroaching. We’re using up their land some of it. But also it’s like what do you want those people to do? Like people in India like where they have in
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elephants just invade their farms and eat all their food.
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But that’s what I’m saying. How long are you a proponent of team humans?
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Villages for hundreds and hundreds of years. But animals have been for millions.
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I’m on team people. If if it’s your family that needs that farm to stay alive and all a sudden a [ __ ] pack of elephants comes in and eats all the food that you’ve been working for a year to
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plant and grow. What do you think? We should just feed the elephants.
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I just want to know where you stand. I’d rather see the animals succeed than us if I’m being honest. I love people.
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But that is a ridiculous That’s a ridiculous thing to say. It doesn’t mean the animals It doesn’t mean the animals are going to go extinct.
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Parasite on the back of Eden. Don’t you think humans are a parasite on the back of this beautiful paradise?
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No.
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No animal dumps nuclear waste or chemicals into rivers. No animal tears down forests except for beavers. So what makes team human so great?
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Well, we definitely should.
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I think you need to change your attitude. We definely shouldn’t do those things.
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But I am but I am a human and I like humans. I like and the only way that you’re going to
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have humans is if you stay on team human and not say I’d rather have the animals here. They’re just going to eat you.
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They’re going to eat you and there’ll be no more houses.
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Press a button and get rid of humans with a press of a button and that everything else could just live here harmoniously. Would you do it?
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What? Do you live in a [ __ ] Disney movie? I’m just asking. No. No. No chance.
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I live in a simulation of a Disney movie.
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Bro, you live in some [ __ ] Canadian reality show. He’s taking another drink of coffee.
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Son of a [ __ ] You southfly over this table with my rotten legs.
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You’re [ __ ] team Canada. I know what you’re doing. You’re trying to ruin America by bringing in wolves. That’s what you’re doing. It’s like a plant. He’s a plant.
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I’m asking you to ruin America by bringing in lions.
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You think humans are a parasite on the planet?
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I think we are a very complicated, intelligent life force that values itself above all else to the detriment of the ecology of the earth itself. So
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therefore, we could do better. We don’t all do that, right? We’re not Every company is not dumping things into rivers.
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If you had a cancer on your body, would you get rid of the cancer?
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We’re not a cancer, dude. We’re a part of the Earth. We are the predominant intelligent life force on this earth. Who predominantly destroys the Earth?
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Us. Cancer.
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We’re not destroying it, though. We just do a bad job of keeping it clean. That’s a fancy way of saying destroying.
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Well, most animals ship all over the ground. They just don’t hit the button. You’re funny. Come on. You want to do it together?
2 hours, 16 minutes, 48 seconds
You should have kids.
2 hours, 16 minutes, 50 seconds
I love kids. I love humans. I just wish we could do better. How old are you now?
2 hours, 16 minutes, 57 seconds
Take a guess. Take a guess. You saw my legs. Take a guess. I’ll tell you. No, I’ll tell you. Well, I’ve known you for 30 years.
2 hours, 17 minutes, 5 seconds
Yeah. So, you’re at least that.
2 hours, 17 minutes, 7 seconds
How old? [laughter] You got to be 50 something. 60 I’ll be 64 this year. Really? Yeah. Wow.
2 hours, 17 minutes, 15 seconds
Yeah. But I love humans. But I also If you had a kid now, it might be a problem. You might have bad jizz. Really?
2 hours, 17 minutes, 22 seconds
Yeah. You might have old jizz. Have you seen my legs? I’ve seen the legs look good.
2 hours, 17 minutes, 27 seconds
What do you mean bad jizz? You don’t Aluccino just had a kid and he’s 400. Give that kid an IQ test. Really? Is he a detoid?
2 hours, 17 minutes, 36 seconds
I don’t know. He’s a baby. Maybe her strong jeans because she’s only 12. The girl No. [laughter]
2 hours, 17 minutes, 43 seconds
How old is No, she’s just 30. Whatever. She is 30 years old. [laughter] Had a kid with him. 58.
2 hours, 17 minutes, 51 seconds
Oh, wow. Yeah.
2 hours, 17 minutes, 53 seconds
We look pretty good with your chest and my legs. We’re doing all right. Right.
2 hours, 17 minutes, 58 seconds
Do you Did you ever want to have kids at one point?
2 hours, 18 minutes
Yeah. I you know I I thought that uh at one point I would I thought that at one point I might but it just didn’t work
2 hours, 18 minutes, 7 seconds
out that way. I was I was married at one point and is it it’s like it’s hard when you’re doing the road a lot. It’s hard.
2 hours, 18 minutes, 15 seconds
Yeah, it is if you make it hard but I never did the road a lot. I always mixed it so that I that I enjoyed my life and traveled and did stuff. So that’s smart.
2 hours, 18 minutes, 24 seconds
Yeah, that’s smart.
2 hours, 18 minutes, 25 seconds
But it it just it it didn’t work out and who knows the the road ain’t closed yet. So, who knows?
2 hours, 18 minutes, 31 seconds
Get your jizz checked. Make sure it’s good. Yeah. Oh, it’s fine. Throw it into a spectrometer.
2 hours, 18 minutes, 35 seconds
Oh my god. I just told you I was on Only Fans for 2 hours.
2 hours, 18 minutes, 39 seconds
Analyze the jizz. Make sure it’s good stuff.
2 hours, 18 minutes, 41 seconds
Wait, can sperm actually go bad? Well, um, when it comes to autism, there’s, uh, and and maybe even Down syndrome,
2 hours, 18 minutes, 49 seconds
there’s some there’s some people that believe that the older the parents are, and they used to think it was just the
2 hours, 18 minutes, 57 seconds
older the woman was that might contribute to those things, and now they think it it is also likely the father.
2 hours, 19 minutes, 3 seconds
They’re also realizing like a lot of um, they were there was this thing that I was reading about miscarriages from parents where the father drinks. And I
2 hours, 19 minutes, 11 seconds
was like, “Wow, that’s interesting.” Because I never really thought that the father being a drunk would affect the sperm, but of course it would.
2 hours, 19 minutes, 18 seconds
Yeah, of course it would. Yeah.
2 hours, 19 minutes, 20 seconds
And weed too. They used to say weed affected the sperm, but I don’t know if that’s Well, they used to say it slows it down or something like that.
2 hours, 19 minutes, 28 seconds
I [laughter] don’t know. Aderall speed it up.
2 hours, 19 minutes, 31 seconds
I don’t know. Zic, you give birth to a zombie.
2 hours, 19 minutes, 35 seconds
You give birth to a [ __ ] jazzed up aderall kid. Dad, I want to [ __ ] clean this house. Wait, do you have any boys or is it all girls?
2 hours, 19 minutes, 42 seconds
It’s all girls. Do you wish you had had a boy?
2 hours, 19 minutes, 45 seconds
I just want them to be healthy. I think wishing that you had a boy or a girl.
2 hours, 19 minutes, 48 seconds
It’s like the universe will give you what it gives you. Yeah, that’s good.
2 hours, 19 minutes, 52 seconds
Yeah. You don’t want to like You don’t want to wish you had a boy when you had a girl. Just appreciate the fact that you have a No, I don’t I don’t mean eliminate the
2 hours, 19 minutes, 59 seconds
girls. God bless the three girls, but if if you had one more, would it be cool to have a boy?
2 hours, 20 minutes, 4 seconds
I’m very happy. I don’t think about it that way. I don’t think about it that way. You’re a good dad. Thank you.
2 hours, 20 minutes, 9 seconds
That’s something I picked up on you today. I think uh everybody should try. Yeah.
2 hours, 20 minutes, 15 seconds
If you’re a dad, you got one shot at this. One of the things that’s really nice for me is that I don’t have to travel as much because I have the club here. Yeah.
2 hours, 20 minutes, 21 seconds
You know, when they were young, I had to travel a lot when they were really young cuz it’s like I wasn’t making as much money and it was like a little bit more difficult
2 hours, 20 minutes, 30 seconds
and having uh the club where I don’t have to do standup somewhere else. I don’t have to go on the road all the time. So, I’m only going on the road occasionally for like the UFC and Yeah. And you don’t need to either.
2 hours, 20 minutes, 40 seconds
Yeah. Just having fun. So, you you done good, guy.
2 hours, 20 minutes, 44 seconds
You too, buddy. It’s nice to see Kill Turney like make a completely different career arc for all these people.
2 hours, 20 minutes, 51 seconds
And you’re one of them, you know?
2 hours, 20 minutes, 52 seconds
It’s It’s It’s [ __ ] taking you to the stratosphere. It’s wild to watch.
2 hours, 20 minutes, 56 seconds
It’s sort of it’s it’s it’s shone a new light on my career. Yeah. It’s sort of revitalized it a bit. Yeah. you uh Rob
2 hours, 21 minutes, 3 seconds
Schneider, Keratop, I mean there’s you the list goes on and on. There’s Kyle Dunigan. There’s so many people that it just [ __ ] launched them.
2 hours, 21 minutes, 13 seconds
So cool. When Tony asked me to do it uh two years ago, I’ll be honest, I didn’t even know what it was.
2 hours, 21 minutes, 21 seconds
That’s hilarious.
2 hours, 21 minutes, 22 seconds
I didn’t know who Tony was. I’d never met him. I knew nothing about it. I was doing your club and they said, “Hey,
2 hours, 21 minutes, 29 seconds
we’re shooting tomorrow. Would you want to stay an extra day?” And I said, “For what?” They go, “Kill Tony.” I said, “What is it?” And I went on I had no clue. I had no idea what it was.
2 hours, 21 minutes, 38 seconds
Are you not online at all?
2 hours, 21 minutes, 40 seconds
No, I didn’t I didn’t know anything about that stuff. How do you stay offline?
2 hours, 21 minutes, 44 seconds
Well, I go online now cuz I started a podcast. I’m trying to emulate you. But you’ve been an inspiration. Thank you, by the way. But I didn’t know about all
2 hours, 21 minutes, 52 seconds
that stuff. And so they asked me to go on and I did my first set with Tony and I think you watched it. It was the one
2 hours, 21 minutes, 59 seconds
where I had the checkbook [laughter] and then and then Tony when we when they finished the show he goes, “Oh, you’re going to be guest of the year.” I go,
2 hours, 22 minutes, 7 seconds
“What are you talking about?” And then I was guest of the year and then it just sort of all this stuff. And now I’m about to shoot a movie with Tony as my
2 hours, 22 minutes, 16 seconds
star. I’m going to direct a movie with Was it Madison Square Garden where you were pulling the things out of your pants?
2 hours, 22 minutes, 20 seconds
Yeah, the limes. [laughter] I said I had Lyme disease and I pulled the limes out. Yeah.
2 hours, 22 minutes, 26 seconds
What? You pull a trophy out of your pants?
2 hours, 22 minutes, 28 seconds
Yeah. Oscar. That’s when [laughter] I won guest of the year. I love to pull stuff out of my pants, apparently.
2 hours, 22 minutes, 34 seconds
What is the movie you and Tony are doing?
2 hours, 22 minutes, 36 seconds
So, uh, my next movie that I’m writing and directing is called Rednecks.
2 hours, 22 minutes, 41 seconds
And we’re going to, uh, shoot in September, October with Tony is the Star. And I don’t know if you do any acting anymore, but I want to offer you
2 hours, 22 minutes, 49 seconds
a part. I don’t know if you’re interested.
2 hours, 22 minutes, 52 seconds
Yeah. You don’t like it anymore? No.
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You got no interest anymore. Maybe if I could kill it for a day. Just run in and do it in a day. Really? Yeah. Something easy.
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Be fun to have you. Where are you going to film it?
2 hours, 23 minutes, 4 seconds
We’re going to shoot in uh Florida and Kentucky. Jesus.
2 hours, 23 minutes, 8 seconds
What if I got you for three days? Would you do? We’ll talk. Let’s talk afterwards. Okay. I really don’t like acting. I know.
2 hours, 23 minutes, 16 seconds
I don’t have any time either. That’s also part of the problem. Like time is uh my time is rationed. I get it.
2 hours, 23 minutes, 23 seconds
Yeah. Do you still have the passion to act at all or No, as a Yeah, I never really had it in the beginning. Yeah. I only did it for money. Yeah.
2 hours, 23 minutes, 30 seconds
Like, uh, I loved standup and I loved, you know, going to clubs and doing and then I got a development deal. It was that simple.
2 hours, 23 minutes, 37 seconds
And then all a sudden I’m on TV. I’m like, “All right.” But it was good that I never had a dream for it because then it I didn’t have a lot of anxiety about it. Yeah.
2 hours, 23 minutes, 46 seconds
You know, it was more like it was fun to do. Yeah. Me, too.
2 hours, 23 minutes, 48 seconds
Because I was always like, I’m just going to go do standup like this. Yeah. I was the same way.
2 hours, 23 minutes, 52 seconds
Yeah. It’s better that way because the people that like where it’s their, “Oh my god, it’s happening.” It’s like so overwhelming for them. Like I see people
2 hours, 24 minutes
have anxiety when they’re about to do their scenes and I was like, “Jesus, man, [laughter] chill out.” Well, we we’re so used to performing in front of audiences. Yeah.
2 hours, 24 minutes, 8 seconds
That for some people the the moment like for young actors, the moment when it’s like action and you walk in and then you
2 hours, 24 minutes, 16 seconds
see that crowd, it it’s overwhelming for some people.
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Yeah, it is. It’s very hard for them to find that comfort level that allows them to perform at the level that they know they can. Like they they might be really
2 hours, 24 minutes, 28 seconds
good actors, but the feeling is so overwhelming that they can’t find the rhythm.
2 hours, 24 minutes, 34 seconds
You know what the opposite of that was for me? And I don’t know if you had this experience. We were used to performing
2 hours, 24 minutes, 41 seconds
in front of live audiences doing standup where they’re like reacting immediately.
2 hours, 24 minutes, 46 seconds
We do a joke, they laugh. But now when you’re doing a movie or TV, suddenly you’re in front of an audience who are
2 hours, 24 minutes, 54 seconds
cameramen and directors and make and they just stand there. They don’t laugh.
2 hours, 24 minutes, 59 seconds
And that became like the opposite of what we do. So when I first started doing TV and movies, I’d get anxiety because it’s like, well, they’re not
2 hours, 25 minutes, 6 seconds
laughing. They’re not reacting. They’re just standing there. It was all these technical people. And that freaked me out a little bit. But I had to overcome that.
2 hours, 25 minutes, 14 seconds
Yeah, that is weird. If you think it’s really funny and then you’re saying it and no one’s laugh cuz they’re just making a movie,
2 hours, 25 minutes, 22 seconds
right? Cuz it’s not like the cameras are there by themselves. There’s people behind the cameras and you’re doing it for a crew like 50 people would be standing
2 hours, 25 minutes, 30 seconds
there while you’re doing a scene with a cigarette in their hand, drinking coffee, shaking their head, checking notes. And did that throw you when you first started?
2 hours, 25 minutes, 38 seconds
Well, news radio luckily was in front of an audience.
2 hours, 25 minutes, 41 seconds
Yeah, that’s true. So when you but they were between the audience and and you was all those people I was and cameras.
2 hours, 25 minutes, 49 seconds
Yeah. But the people laughed at all the jokes if they were good, you know, if they were good jokes. But so that that was to me was like a different way of
2 hours, 25 minutes, 57 seconds
delivering jokes, you know. It was it was still it was fun. It was I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the sitcom, but the only way to do it right is to have really good writers.
2 hours, 26 minutes, 7 seconds
And that’s hard to find, man. Like news radio had that and really good performers.
2 hours, 26 minutes, 12 seconds
But if you’re on a bad one, you’re in hell. You’re in hell and you’re just collecting checks. Yeah. And you just check though. Good check. That’s the problem.
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Yeah. That’s the problem. The Velvet Prison. Yeah.
2 hours, 26 minutes, 23 seconds
Those are the guys that wind up doing drugs.
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The guys that are on a show that they hate. Yeah.
2 hours, 26 minutes, 28 seconds
They Yeah. You go straight two and a half men. [ __ ] Charlie Shane in it.
2 hours, 26 minutes, 33 seconds
It’s part of it. Part of it is just like you’re in that lifestyle anyway, but part of it is also like I don’t want to do this, you know?
2 hours, 26 minutes, 42 seconds
Yeah, I experienced that. I don’t want to do a sitcom. I’m bored.
2 hours, 26 minutes, 46 seconds
I’m bored with these lame punchlines and next thing you know, you’re smoking crack and running from the cops.
2 hours, 26 minutes, 52 seconds
You know what I realized too is with these sitcoms, it’s they all keep borrowing the same premise. Like I did three different
2 hours, 27 minutes
sitcoms and it’s like, “Oh, now we’re doing the episode where uh the lead guy
2 hours, 27 minutes, 7 seconds
is somehow dating an SNM queen and now we’re doing the episode where uh Jim gets his car stolen.” Like, you start to
2 hours, 27 minutes, 16 seconds
realize like there’s about 40 different episodes, but they all just insert them and sort of change them a little and
2 hours, 27 minutes, 23 seconds
it’s it’s really very weird. It’s like a recipe. So many premises, right? Yeah. Right.
2 hours, 27 minutes, 28 seconds
Yeah. It’s Well, that’s just the uncreative ones. I mean, that’s why Curb Your Enthusiasm was so amazing, right? They didn’t repeat any premises.
2 hours, 27 minutes, 35 seconds
That That show was [ __ ] incredibly creative and and bizarre and no audience. That’s right. Another one. No audience. Yeah.
2 hours, 27 minutes, 42 seconds
But the ones the ones that that were fresh were the ones that didn’t. It was more like the traditional sitcoms that just plugged in the premises and it was
2 hours, 27 minutes, 50 seconds
like it’s like, “Oh my god, I’ve already done this.” There’s but there’s something to that form where it’s done when it’s done
2 hours, 27 minutes, 57 seconds
really well. It is very enjoyable. It’s very comforting. Like I I always thought like I saw clips of the Big Bang. I never watched The Big Bang
2 hours, 28 minutes, 4 seconds
until I started watching it with my kids and I’m like this is a [ __ ] very funny show. It’s like a really good show with like very defined characters. It’s really well made.
2 hours, 28 minutes, 13 seconds
And I had this u prejudice of it I think cuz I had seen some clips where they were doing like retakes and there’s no
2 hours, 28 minutes, 21 seconds
audience. So they’re saying the jokes with no laughs behind them. It just seems kind of lame. But everything seems lame like that. Like retakes of News
2 hours, 28 minutes, 29 seconds
Radio seemed lame, too, while we were doing them. Yeah.
2 hours, 28 minutes, 32 seconds
But when I watched the show, I was like, there’s something comforting about this kind of a show. And I wish they still did them. They don’t do them anymore.
2 hours, 28 minutes, 39 seconds
They’re dead. They’re dying.
2 hours, 28 minutes, 41 seconds
Miss Pat is the only one that I know of that has uh an actual sitcom right now. Like a three cam. Mhm. She’s got a live audience sitcom.
2 hours, 28 minutes, 49 seconds
Wow. Yeah. I don’t think anybody else does. Or if they do, I don’t know about it. They used to be [ __ ] come as [ __ ] man.
2 hours, 28 minutes, 55 seconds
Yeah, that was that was the goal. That was the dream to go get a sitcom.
2 hours, 28 minutes, 59 seconds
But isn’t it weird that we still enjoy them? Yeah. But yet no one makes them anymore.
2 hours, 29 minutes, 4 seconds
Yeah. I think they’ve been knocked out of contention because they’re so um set up whereas we live in this world now where people just scroll real life.
2 hours, 29 minutes, 14 seconds
But why? Because dramas are still on TV.
2 hours, 29 minutes, 16 seconds
There’s still a million NCSI, whatever the [ __ ] those shows are. You know what I mean? There’s a million of those shows. That’s the Hulk.
2 hours, 29 minutes, 25 seconds
Law and Order, Special Victims Unit, there’s a million of those shows.
2 hours, 29 minutes, 28 seconds
So those kinds of same premise shows of cops and lawyers and all that [ __ ]
2 hours, 29 minutes, 35 seconds
those still exist. The medical examiner shows, the forensic examiner show, those shows exist. So, how come all these, you
2 hours, 29 minutes, 43 seconds
know, there’s a resurgence of rancher shows now? Everyone’s a rancher, right?
2 hours, 29 minutes, 48 seconds
This 15 rancher shows now. So, those shows exist, but no sitcoms.
2 hours, 29 minutes, 53 seconds
As the Incredible Hunk Hulk once said, me not know why.
2 hours, 29 minutes, 57 seconds
I think it’s a giant mistake cuz I think you could make a sitcom right now, whether Paramount Plus does it or one of those organizations that streams, you
2 hours, 30 minutes, 6 seconds
could make a great [ __ ] multicam sitcom right now.
2 hours, 30 minutes, 9 seconds
Yeah. I I I don’t even turn on the TV anymore, though. I think people are being weaned right off of television.
2 hours, 30 minutes, 16 seconds
We’re in a transitional phase. I think Dude, I rarely ever I when I used to go
2 hours, 30 minutes, 24 seconds
on the road, I would check into a hotel and turn on the TV right away. I don’t think I’ve turned on a hotel TV in about
2 hours, 30 minutes, 32 seconds
six years really.
2 hours, 30 minutes, 34 seconds
I don’t even turn it on. When I go home, I watch my TV maybe once a month, if that. I don’t even look at it anymore.
2 hours, 30 minutes, 43 seconds
So, do you look at your phone? I look at my phone. That’s it.
2 hours, 30 minutes, 46 seconds
That’s it. It’s bizarre. I’m even weirded out by it. It’s like, what am I doing? You never sit down and watch a movie. Rarely. It’s very rare.
2 hours, 30 minutes, 53 seconds
Should do that. Should watch a movie. I know. They’re very entertaining.
2 hours, 30 minutes, 57 seconds
People should watch my new movie. Can I say something about it?
2 hours, 31 minutes
You don’t watch movies and you make them?
2 hours, 31 minutes, 3 seconds
Yeah. You know how [ __ ] crazy that is? Yeah. What’s wrong with you? I’m crazy. I’m crazy. All right. What is your new movie?
2 hours, 31 minutes, 11 seconds
Do you mind me talking about it? Please do. Are you sure? 100%.
2 hours, 31 minutes, 15 seconds
I wrote, directed, and starred in a new movie that just came out a few days ago called Wingman,
2 hours, 31 minutes, 22 seconds
and it’s on streamers Apple TV, and it’s on Prime Prime Video.
2 hours, 31 minutes, 29 seconds
And I play a crazy wingman that helps people get laid. Nice.
2 hours, 31 minutes, 36 seconds
Yeah. And it’s with Jamie Kennedy, Russell Peters, Kayla Wallace, Evan Marsh. Oh, nice.
2 hours, 31 minutes, 42 seconds
Shiva Nagar, and uh Did you make this yourself?
2 hours, 31 minutes, 46 seconds
Well, we made it with a with a studio Stardust Pictures up in Canada with David Lipper and Justin Lavine. And uh
2 hours, 31 minutes, 52 seconds
it’s a full-on full-on movie we we shot up in Canada. Nice.
2 hours, 31 minutes, 57 seconds
Yeah. Really proud of it. And uh and I hope people check it out. I hope you check it out. Yeah, I’ll check it out if you promise to watch movies every now and then yourself.
2 hours, 32 minutes, 7 seconds
I’ll do it if you promise to be in my next movie and we’ll watch it together. That’s a lot. It’s an offer.
2 hours, 32 minutes, 13 seconds
Okay, we can talk. Okay. I’m excited.
2 hours, 32 minutes, 15 seconds
I’d love to see you get back in to do a little acting.
2 hours, 32 minutes, 18 seconds
I like that there are comedy movies again. I really do. That’s nice.
2 hours, 32 minutes, 21 seconds
Well, that’s the one with I’m going to do with Tony is full on. That’s why I’m sort of asking you cuz I want to see you get your comedy face in there again. Is it about?
2 hours, 32 minutes, 29 seconds
It’s about a redneck culture.
2 hours, 32 minutes, 32 seconds
And this is the part where you really love it cuz I know you love vehicles.
2 hours, 32 minutes, 36 seconds
It centers around something called a mud bog where guys in Florida jack up their pickup trucks and drive through mud for
2 hours, 32 minutes, 44 seconds
3 days. It’s not monster trucks. They just drive through mud and jump and spray. And then the other part of the
2 hours, 32 minutes, 51 seconds
movie takes place in those airboats that drive through all the marshes in Florida. And you would be the mayor of
2 hours, 32 minutes, 58 seconds
this town and get into it with Tony who becomes one of these mugbod guys. So you’d be around all this [ __ ]
2 hours, 33 minutes, 6 seconds
Good lord. Florida is a different part of Isn’t it wild?
2 hours, 33 minutes, 10 seconds
Look at these [ __ ] cars. That’s crazy. Got an old Camaro.
2 hours, 33 minutes, 13 seconds
Yeah. This is what they do. Tell me you wouldn’t like to be around that. Scroll back up, please. It’s so fun.
2 hours, 33 minutes, 20 seconds
So the movie digging into the world of mud bogging in North Central Florida. Yeah. So Tony’s
2 hours, 33 minutes, 27 seconds
going to be the uh the lead guy who tries to win the whole mudbog thing, but meanwhile the mayor, which would be you,
2 hours, 33 minutes, 35 seconds
wants him out of town cuz he’s such a redneck. He doesn’t like the culture. Oh Jesus.
2 hours, 33 minutes, 41 seconds
Look at that. [laughter] Florida is so different. It is such a different place. Yeah.
2 hours, 33 minutes, 48 seconds
God. [snorts] So we’re gonna have fun doing that. But yeah, thank you for letting me mention Wingman. Awesome. It’s when you do an
2 hours, 33 minutes, 55 seconds
indie uh project, it it helps to uh be able to talk about it. So, thank you.
2 hours, 34 minutes, 1 second
If you got an offer after this show to do a sitcom, would you consider doing it? And if someone said, “Listen, I think we could bring back the multicam sitcom.” But we want you to star in it, Haron.
2 hours, 34 minutes, 12 seconds
I would if it was if it’s all about the material cuz me and you were older. I think as we get older, it becomes about
2 hours, 34 minutes, 19 seconds
how do we want to dedicate our time? I’m not interested in just doing, oh, I got a sitcom. It’s got to have meaning to me. Of course, it’s got to be something where I But if you could help create it.
2 hours, 34 minutes, 29 seconds
Oh, yeah.
2 hours, 34 minutes, 30 seconds
That’s what I’m saying. All those guys that used to work work on all those shows like Seinfeld and Friends and they
2 hours, 34 minutes, 37 seconds
they have to still be out there in the world. Oh, yeah. Isn’t that nuts? Yeah.
2 hours, 34 minutes, 40 seconds
Like, can you imagine? Imagine back in the 90s when everybody wanted a sitcom when we were we were first coming up. If you said, you know, one day there’ll be
2 hours, 34 minutes, 49 seconds
no more sitcoms, you’d be like, what the [ __ ] are you talking about? You would have never believed that. If you went into these rooms where they they’re
2 hours, 34 minutes, 56 seconds
making Sex in the City and The Single Guy and all these rooms, guys, enjoy it while you can. Yeah. Because in
2 hours, 35 minutes, 4 seconds
a couple of decades, there’s going to be zero sitcoms on television. They would have just laughed. Yeah.
2 hours, 35 minutes, 8 seconds
They would have kicked you out of that office. Get the [ __ ] out of here. You don’t know what you’re talking about.
2 hours, 35 minutes, 12 seconds
Meanwhile, that’s true. Well, this is why I love I hate I’m just going to go back to it quickly. AI because it shows were evolving, you know. Remember Joe,
2 hours, 35 minutes, 20 seconds
at one point movies were black and white. They didn’t have sound. Really?
2 hours, 35 minutes, 26 seconds
Yeah. Yeah. They they were they and then talkis came and color and digital and so I love it that every form of our
2 hours, 35 minutes, 35 seconds
entertainment is evolving and becoming there’s stuff going to come that we don’t even know, which I love. Me, too.
2 hours, 35 minutes, 41 seconds
Yeah. But I think sitcoms didn’t have to go away. That’s what I’m saying.
2 hours, 35 minutes, 45 seconds
Yeah, maybe not. But maybe so. Like the new way. Like your daughters probably don’t want to sit down for half an hour. They love sitcoms. They do.
2 hours, 35 minutes, 53 seconds
They watch old ones.
2 hours, 35 minutes, 54 seconds
Okay. Well, I was wrong. I was really wrong. I’m hurting.
2 hours, 35 minutes, 58 seconds
Well, me and my youngest, we sat through the entire season. I mean, the entire all seasons of Big Bang Theory. That was me and my family. We watched that one.
2 hours, 36 minutes, 7 seconds
Yeah. my wife and my and then we watched YoungSheldon which was the next version of it.
2 hours, 36 minutes, 13 seconds
Young Sheldon was really good. It was uh it was a single cam show that was on Netflix and it was Sheldon as a young kid.
2 hours, 36 minutes, 20 seconds
It was the genius kid as a young boy.
2 hours, 36 minutes, 23 seconds
Very funny show but totally different like really cute, sweet show but not uh in front of a live audience.
2 hours, 36 minutes, 30 seconds
And I think there’s something I loved doing news radio. I really did. Yeah.
2 hours, 36 minutes, 35 seconds
And but it was just because it was an insanely talented cast and we were all like brothers and sisters. We were we had so much fun.
2 hours, 36 minutes, 44 seconds
Family for 5 years. We worked together and we got drunk all the time and we It was so silly. It was such a fun set. It’s like summer camp.
2 hours, 36 minutes, 52 seconds
Yeah. It was really fun. It was really And the show I think was really good. Yeah, it did well.
2 hours, 36 minutes, 56 seconds
And also, here’s the best part. It was never really successful, which was great because none of us got really rich or famous from that show. It was really it was it was always like not
2 hours, 37 minutes, 5 seconds
doing so well in the ratings. We got moved nine times in five years. And this was back back before the internet. So you couldn’t like send out a tweet, hey, we’re on Sunday nights now.
2 hours, 37 minutes, 14 seconds
Wow.
2 hours, 37 minutes, 14 seconds
You know, and this was back also when nobody had this. I just saw this trailer the other day. This is a spin-off from Big Bang Theory, but it’s not a like, you know,
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in front of an audience sitcom and it’s not multicam either, I suppose, but was popping up.
2 hours, 37 minutes, 29 seconds
Oh no [ __ ] Yeah. It’s called Steuart Fails to Save the Universe, but it’s a new show, you know. It’s a
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comedy. It is a 30-minute show kind of in that universe.
2 hours, 37 minutes, 42 seconds
Yeah. Yeah. Even like the the logo is like got the same kind of Wow. It’s on HBO. Yeah. Nice. Wild. Yeah.
2 hours, 37 minutes, 50 seconds
Huh.
2 hours, 37 minutes, 52 seconds
Who’s created more bangers than that Chuck Lori guy? Oh my god. Yeah. That guy’s created so many big sitcoms. Big Bang The What’s that?
2 hours, 38 minutes
An article he wrote or I just read interviewing him said that those shows kind of died because like The Office and uh Curb kind of killed it for a while. Single camera, no audience.
2 hours, 38 minutes, 10 seconds
Yeah.
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I’m also thinking I wouldn’t want to go sit and watch a taping of a show right now.
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How much would they have to pay an audience to do that? Right.
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Well, you only have to pay the audience until the show becomes successful.
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True. Yeah. I guess people would want to go.
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Yeah. You don’t really want a paid audience cuz they’re not as much fun.
2 hours, 38 minutes, 27 seconds
Like news radio in the beginning, nobody knew who the [ __ ] we were. But by season 3, the audience was news radio fans. Yeah. And it became a totally different thing.
2 hours, 38 minutes, 34 seconds
It was really fun. And Phil Hartman used to do standup. Oh, nice.
2 hours, 38 minutes, 38 seconds
He had talked about doing standup in the clubs, but he would do he was really good at impressions. He would do Bill Clinton impressions and he had bits. He had little things he would run
2 hours, 38 minutes, 46 seconds
and he would just do it for fun. And you know, we had talked about him actually doing it in clubs and he thought about doing it. Um, but it was the whole thing
2 hours, 38 minutes, 54 seconds
was silly. Like Andy Dick would address the audience. He would they people would answer questions. We had a good warm-up guy. It was like a party that was going
2 hours, 39 minutes, 2 seconds
on. Everybody had a great time. And that was after the show, you know, caught its gear. But it never was popular until it became syndicated.
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Then was in syndication. Then it became really popular. At least yours was sort of popular.
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Every every week they’d put out the top 100. And my sitcom was always number 99
2 hours, 39 minutes, 23 seconds
or 100. So at least yours was probably up in the top 30. No. One day Lou Morton Lou Morton was one of our writers and
2 hours, 39 minutes, 31 seconds
Lou every week would show up with a a t-shirt with a number on it that he would draw with magic marker of what we were. And one day he showed up and it
2 hours, 39 minutes, 39 seconds
said 88. I go 88. He goes, “Yep.” I go, “No.” He goes, “Yeah.” I go, “Fuck, [groaning] dude. I was a hundred every week.
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Wow. What network were you on? The WB. We were on NBC.
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Yeah. Okay. So WB didn’t have affiliates all across the C. We only had like 60%.
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88 at NBC is you’re barely alive. But still 100. Yeah. 100. Well, they always tell us, don’t worry.
2 hours, 40 minutes, 6 seconds
We’re not worried about the numbers. We know you got to find your audience again. Now you’re on Monday night.
2 hours, 40 minutes, 11 seconds
You used to be on Sunday. And one time we were on Thursday night. We were in the Friends sandwich. So it was Friends and Seinfeld which Paul Sims the
2 hours, 40 minutes, 20 seconds
executive producer of news radio famous called the [ __ ] sandwich because in between friends and Seinfeld you would have like Caroline in the city and these shows that weren’t as good.
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Do you want to hear about Salt in the Wound? Yeah. So mine was show was number 100. Okay.
2 hours, 40 minutes, 38 seconds
It was called Simon. It was me. I was the star. I played Simon. Jason Baitman played my brother.
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Look at that.
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And the lead girl, Andrea Bendlewald, we ended up dating. She became my
2 hours, 40 minutes, 54 seconds
girlfriend. Her best friend was Jennifer Aniston. She lived with Jennifer. So I would go and stay at Jennifer’s house
2 hours, 41 minutes, 2 seconds
every night with my girlfriend. We were like Thre’s Company. And I’d have to sit there and watch Friends with Jennifer,
2 hours, 41 minutes, 10 seconds
the number one show, while me and Andrea were at the bottom at [laughter] number 100. It was like, oh, I mean, Love
2 hours, 41 minutes, 18 seconds
Jennifer was so happy. But talk about salt in the wound. It was like, oh, damn. Isn’t it crazy though? But you’re
2 hours, 41 minutes, 25 seconds
on TV. You’re living the dream. This is one of It was great. It was great.
2 hours, 41 minutes, 29 seconds
The earliest social media was the the Variety magazine and the Hollywood Reporter. That was like the same thing
2 hours, 41 minutes, 37 seconds
where these people would compare themselves to everybody else and they would look at the rankings and I would show up on the set and you know like all
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these people loved to read those things and they were reading those things and I started calling them the devil’s rag. I go why are you reading the devil’s rag?
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I go because they were we were complaining like I can’t believe we’re number 36. If we were on, you know, Thursday night we would be number two or number one or whatever. And I go last time I checked I’m on TV.
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Yeah. I go we’re on TV. We’re on TV on NBC.
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There’s not a lot of people that get to be on TV.
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Like, this is great. We’re living the dream. So, we’re not number one. Like, you guys are reading that and you’re forgetting how many people that you’re friends with that are going on auditions right now that would kill to be on NBC.
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But it’s the devil’s rag. It’s the same thing that happens with, you know, you say, “Oh, I just got a new car. I’m pretty happy.” And then, “Oh, Jeff Bezos
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got a yacht. Fuck.” I’ll be honest, [clears throat] I was like you. I was like, I’m on TV. But I gotta tell you as we got deeper into the
2 hours, 42 minutes, 34 seconds
season and I had to sit there beside Jennifer Aniston and watch her number one show every week
2 hours, 42 minutes, 42 seconds
and old 100 is sitting beside her. I gotta say it it it started to seep in where you’re just like [ __ ] I’m on TV,
2 hours, 42 minutes, 51 seconds
you know? It’s sort of like there were days when it was just you could feel it. Not blaming her, but just the business.
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It was it was hard to sit at one end and see the other. But it that’s the way it works.
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It’s the way it is. But you got to really just be happy to run. Great. You’re winning the lottery.
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Yeah. You you won the lottery. You just didn’t win the mega power ball.
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Yeah. And I loved it. I I got to work with Jason and I, you know, I was the star of my I came from the suburbs of Toronto. Never thought I’d do anything.
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Here I’m I got the I’m the star of my own sitcom, Simon. I’m like, this is unbelievable. Yeah. It’s I share your attitude. Yeah.
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Yeah.
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And there’s a lot of them that don’t work, man.
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Yeah. I was on the set and we were there like so you’d go like Sunset Gower and there’d be a bunch of other places that
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were next to you and I’d go visit with all those guys cuz like a lot of them were my like Lenny Clark Lenny Clark was right down the street. He was on the the John Larette show. Do you remember that?
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Yeah. I got a little story about that when you’re done. I’ll tell you. Tell me. Are you sure? You don’t want to finish? Did John Larat yell at you?
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So before I got my own sitcom, so I was in Hollywood. I did two auditions. I did one for Ellen DeGeneres’s first show was
2 hours, 44 minutes, 4 seconds
called These Friends of Mine and I was a guest star on the show with Molly Shannon.
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And then my second audition was for the John Larette show and I went in and auditioned and the feedback to my agents
2 hours, 44 minutes, 19 seconds
was John said this guy wants his own sitcom and I said to my agents I said you’re damn right I do. And the next gig I got was my own sitcom.
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Chick was pretty cool.
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So, you think he didn’t like you because you wanted your own sitcom or he thought you were too good for his show because you want your own sitcom?
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I think he must have sensed I walked in there with attitude or cockiness, which I didn’t. I just did the audition. But he must have been reading my vibe somehow.
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Well, that’s you.
2 hours, 44 minutes, 45 seconds
Yeah. So, well, people that don’t, that’s how you walk like people that don’t y this Harlon, you’ve always been like this.
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I have. From the moment I met you, you’ve always been like this very happy, very confident guy. You never look
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rattled to do a show. You always looked like you’re having a good [ __ ] time. Oh yeah.
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All of us like there was moments where everyone had a big show and you’re like [ __ ] real nervous. You were never like that. No, you were always like happy golucky.
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Yeah.
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I don’t know one person that doesn’t like you. Oh wow. Do you know how crazy that is? I’m not even married.
2 hours, 45 minutes, 19 seconds
But do you know how crazy that is? Like I know every comic that I know has a comic that they don’t get along with that they hate.
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Someone hates them or they hate them or there’s some [ __ ] [ __ ] that guy. That guy’s a piece of [ __ ] His comedy sucks. No one says that about you.
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Do you know how amazing that is?
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That’s I’m That’s a We were talking about that in the green room one day. We were talking about in the green room cuz it was after you came on with Dimmitri. I was I [laughter]
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told everybody I was howling. He waited the whole show before he pulled his [ __ ] snake out of his pants. By the [snorts] way, that snake sat right in front of Donald Trump when he was here.
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I loved it. I told you that.
2 hours, 45 minutes, 53 seconds
I know you did. Um, so that conversation that we had in the green room was like, “Who the [ __ ] do you know that doesn’t like Harlon?” And we all sat around and talked about it. There’s no one.
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A you are you are like the most un universally loved comedian that I know. Oh my god. I have to defend Tony to everybody.
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Yeah. Tony. [laughter] Yeah. He’s a great guy.
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He’s a great guy. Yeah, it’s just like in that world you have to understand the roast world. Like that is not the real world, kids.
2 hours, 46 minutes, 20 seconds
That is you’re going for blood, you know? Like if you’re in a cage fight and you elbow someone in the face, it’s not
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because you’re a bad person. That is the job. That’s the game we’re playing.
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If you don’t do it, you’re you’re you’re letting yourself down. You’ve got to go in and fight. Yeah.
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That’s the game we’re playing. These are the rules that we’re under. We’re all talking [ __ ] you know.
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Yeah. It’s uh and so when you see people complain about it. Yeah. I say I understand the general public that’s not aware what roasts are because the reality of roasts
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are especially for like if you’re a 22-y old kid. The last time there were roasts on television before the Tom Brady bro was literally 10 years ago. Yeah.
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Like do you remember the Charlie Sheen roast, the Donald Trump roast, the Comedy Central roast? They used to have them all the time. All the time. They were a long time ago. Yeah.
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It’s a long time in the zeitgeist, right? So those things don’t exist to kids. to kids. Comedy is joking about
2 hours, 47 minutes, 12 seconds
stuff. Comedy is Chris Rock. Comedy is Kevin Hart. Comedy is Louis C. That’s what they think of comedy is. They don’t under They don’t even understand the
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jokes like that. This is roast jokes are [ __ ] mean. They’ve always been [ __ ] mean. They can be cruel, too.
2 hours, 47 minutes, 27 seconds
Personal, ruthless. Go back and watch all those old Comedy Central roast. They were [ __ ] brutal. They were brutal.
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Patrice would just eviscerate the entire [ __ ] stadium.
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those things. The thing is like if you’re a person and you’re not accustomed to roast and you don’t get why those jokes are so mean, I get it.
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But comedians, comedians that are getting upset about these roast jokes, [ __ ] all the way off.
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Just [ __ ] all the way off. You [ __ ] traitor. You know what this is. You know exactly what this is. You’re a [ __ ]
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traitor. You’re just using this moment to try to boost yourself up to try to like knock down what’s happening in
2 hours, 48 minutes, 10 seconds
these. You could disagree with the content. You could say, “I think they went too far with this. I don’t think.” But the this this [ __ ] pretending
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that these people are actual racists and Nazis just because they’re telling these jokes that are in a roast. Like, [ __ ] all the way off.
2 hours, 48 minutes, 25 seconds
Yeah. Don’t suit up. Go out and play hockey if you don’t want to play hockey.
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Like, sit on the bench. And don’t don’t badmouth the people playing hockey.
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Yeah, it is what it is. And that’s the game. That’s the game we’re playing. We’re playing this ruthless.
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And by the way, you know who didn’t have a problem with it? Kevin [ __ ] Hart.
2 hours, 48 minutes, 43 seconds
Kevin [ __ ] Hart has defended every single person that said horrible [ __ ] about him about him being lynched from a bonsai tree and all the craziest [ __ ] that they said.
2 hours, 48 minutes, 52 seconds
Well, you know who else didn’t have a problem with it is the people, the corporations that put it on corporate television on corporate airwaves. So
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there’s a whole subsection of the foundation of where these the platform that they’re given. They didn’t care about it either or they wouldn’t do it.
2 hours, 49 minutes, 8 seconds
So well they knew from the Tom Brady Roast how powerful those things are now. The Tom Brady Roast was the number one watched thing in Netflix history.
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Wow.
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There more than 55 million people watch that thing. I got to say I’m not the hugest fan cuz I don’t love cruel humor as much. But but I do love it that that
2 hours, 49 minutes, 27 seconds
Tom Brady roast I feel like it kicked wokeness over the cliff like those Buffalo. We were getting so woke and we
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needed that roast to sort of course correct. There’s two things that killed woke.
2 hours, 49 minutes, 40 seconds
Number one, Kid Rock gunned down a whole [ __ ] stack of Bud Lights. I [laughter] love that. That That was it.
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That was so good. That might have been it. Oh, that was gorgeous.
2 hours, 49 minutes, 51 seconds
That might have been it because then they got to see the real financial consequences of being [ __ ] completely insane that people were fed up. They’re like
2 hours, 50 minutes
enough. And Kid Rock saying, “Fuck you, Annheiser Bush.” Like, that is that’s a big hit to the stock price. And
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then people realize, oh, this is a micro set of people that are very loud, but it’s not the macro. It’s not it’s not it’s not the general population.
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It’s even smaller than micro. It’s it’s like micro micro.
2 hours, 50 minutes, 20 seconds
Not only that, but the people that were in it, a lot of them abandoned ship. Yeah. A lot of them abandoned ship. Virtue signaling is done.
2 hours, 50 minutes, 28 seconds
They just real they got caught up in a thing that was like the way people were behaving and so they imitated what was going on in their social groups. It’s a
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normal thing that people do, but it just it wasn’t rational and that’s why it got shot down by Kid Rock. By the way, what kind of gun did he use?
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I don’t know guns. I bet you know what he used.
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I think he used an AR. Go back and look at it. It’s a assault rifle. Is it like like automatic?
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Semi-automatic. I mean, maybe he used an automatic. He’s in Tennessee. They have some solid gun laws. He just blasted away. You kind of have whatever you want.
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How many in a clip for an AR? Do you know?
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It’s called a magazine. And uh see, I don’t know Canadian. I don’t know anything about guns. They vary. A magazine.
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They took all your guns up there in Canada.
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Well, we never had What is he What is he shooting there? Wow. Look at that.
2 hours, 51 minutes, 13 seconds
Yeah. Let’s see. Let’s see the video of him doing it and I can kind of tell you better.
2 hours, 51 minutes, 17 seconds
That’s wild. [laughter] Kid Rock shoots back at Bud Light. How many views does this have?
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How many views this video have?
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Some news reporting of it. I don’t mean He didn’t post it on YouTube. Look at this.
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[laughter]
2 hours, 51 minutes, 32 seconds
Oh man.
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Okay. Uh that’s an AR. I think that’s the magazine.
2 hours, 51 minutes, 38 seconds
But it might be it might be a fully automatic.
2 hours, 51 minutes, 41 seconds
That’s not a clip. Let me hear it, please. Yeah, I think that’s fully automatic. Yeah, that’s fully automatic, 100%.
2 hours, 51 minutes, 48 seconds
Wow. So, he has uh some kind of machine gun.
2 hours, 51 minutes, 55 seconds
I want to go I want to shoot up a six-pack of Dr. Pepper just for fun. I love Dr. Pepper, but now I want to shoot a some pop.
2 hours, 52 minutes, 3 seconds
Why don’t you just go shoot something you don’t like? Cuz it’s kind of symbolic of something you’re trying to kill. Wolves.
2 hours, 52 minutes, 9 seconds
Yeah, I love wolves. You want to shoot a wolf? We’re not going back to the wolf.
2 hours, 52 minutes, 14 seconds
Depends on where they are. Listen, if wolves are in the mountains and they’re just being wolves and they’re eating elk and deer and I’m all for wolves. I’m not an anti-wolf person,
2 hours, 52 minutes, 22 seconds
but I think you shouldn’t bring them into residential neighborhoods and drop them off in ranches. I think that’s [ __ ] ridiculous. I’m bringing you back.
2 hours, 52 minutes, 30 seconds
But I think that wolves in the wild are important. I’m not an anti-wolf person.
2 hours, 52 minutes, 35 seconds
I just don’t like people doing what I call ballot box biology where you get people to decide by voting that are never going to experience these wolves.
2 hours, 52 minutes, 43 seconds
Do you think we should reintroduce wolves to Colorado? And all these people that just got back from Whole Foods like yeah that would be amazing. I heard it’s
2 hours, 52 minutes, 50 seconds
going to help the sprouts grow and they they vote yes. And then these poor lambs are getting eaten alive. Have you shot a wolf?
2 hours, 52 minutes, 58 seconds
No. No. I don’t want to hunt wolves. I don’t I mean I would shoot a wolf if I thought the wolf was like endangering my family or trying to kill my dog or something like that, but I love wolves.
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I don’t not like wolves. I think they’re awesome. I think they’re awesome.
2 hours, 53 minutes, 11 seconds
Have you ever heard a wolf howl in the wild? No. It’s very haunting. It’s very ghostly. Even more I know you’ve heard coyotes.
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Mhm.
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But a wolf has this long howl. It’s almost I can see why Native Americans are so spiritually connected to it. It’s very
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ghostly and Oh, yeah.
2 hours, 53 minutes, 30 seconds
It’s spiritual almost. It’s a very in a beautiful sound.
2 hours, 53 minutes, 34 seconds
No, they’re amazing animals. But that was pretty good. Sort of like that.
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Do you know if you do that? I had a friend who had Sorry, I slipped. I had a friend who had wolves and if you do that in his house, they start howling.
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Yeah, they go nuts.
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Yeah. I would go over his house and and father.
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Wild. What a wild animal.
2 hours, 54 minutes, 12 seconds
What a crazy noise. That Look, they’re incredible. They’re incredible. That’s That’s so awesome.
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I saw one in the wild.
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They’re important to keep populations. I just don’t think you should reintroduce him to [ __ ] Aspen, you [ __ ]
2 hours, 54 minutes, 30 seconds
It might be fun to see a pack of Timbers taking down a skier.
2 hours, 54 minutes, 34 seconds
Like Charlie Sheen coming down the hill with Denise Richards and 12 Timberwolves like take them down. And there was a movie.
2 hours, 54 minutes, 42 seconds
Rip out their There was a movie about that called Frozen. Not like the Let It Go, let it go. Oh yeah, it was with Liam Niss.
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No, that was the Gray. The The Frozen movie is someone movies. It’s a hor I know all the wolf movies. It’s a horror
2 hours, 54 minutes, 57 seconds
movie about these kids that are uh skiing and they get stuck on a ski lift because they forget they’re up there and there’s wolves down there, okay?
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And they get killed. So, the guy falls and his legs break and then the wolves come and get them.
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See, you’re going to get mad at me, but I don’t. A movie like this one scare me because I just know wolves to be skittish like this.
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You’re out of your mind. Yeah. You don’t know what you’re talking about if you’re injured.
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Like lions, uh, leopards, jaguars, like, forget it.
2 hours, 55 minutes, 25 seconds
They’ll take you down. But my experience with wolves is they’re more skittish around humans. But I don’t want to get into it again. We can go to Arby’s later and have a fight.
2 hours, 55 minutes, 34 seconds
If you have a broken leg like that guy did in this movie, they’re bleeding [clears throat] and they can smell it. They’re tearing them apart right now. Look at Watch. Watch it. They’re eating them. They’re eating them.
2 hours, 55 minutes, 43 seconds
They’re killing the man. Is that Denise Richards? No. No. It looks like Drew Barry. Spoiler alert, they live.
2 hours, 55 minutes, 50 seconds
Also, spoiler alert, no wolves in New Hampshire. It’s all [ __ ] Oh, yeah. There probably was at one point.
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Yeah, they killed them all because they were killing people and livestock. Yeah. Yeah. Idiots.
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You know how they killed them, too? Most of them they poisoned. What they would do is they would inject strick nine into horses and leave the horse carcass and eat it and then they would all die.
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Wow. They did a lot of trapping, too.
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Those cruel the uh Oh, yeah. The snap traps.
2 hours, 56 minutes, 13 seconds
Yep. They did that, too. I knew some old uh trap guys up when I worked up north and uh these guys, you might not want to
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hear this, but the way they’d take them out is they’d trap them in the leg traps and then they didn’t want to damage the
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pelt. So then they walk up to them while they’re trapped and they just clunk them. They club them to death. I like how they club seals like back. Yeah.
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Horrible. Yeah, that’s I don’t like that.
2 hours, 56 minutes, 40 seconds
The clubbing seals, man, was rough. I saw some rough. You ever see those videos? And the seals.
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God, at least a wolf would run away. These seals, they’re just laying out sunbathing. And they walk up and just bam, smack and pop their skulls.
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I know. And you’re doing that for their fur.
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And the babies, they’d smack the babies cuz they had that beautiful white fur. Oh my gosh.
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These things are like a chromosome away from being a sex toy. They’re so cute. [groaning] Wow.
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[laughter]
2 hours, 57 minutes, 13 seconds
[sighs]
2 hours, 57 minutes, 13 seconds
Wolves are good. Yeah.
2 hours, 57 minutes, 15 seconds
You just don’t want them in your neighborhood. They They should be in the woods.
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I love them. I’ I wouldn’t mind if they were around. You say that. You say that. Do you have a dog? I’ve had them.
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What if you came out and your dog was getting eaten alive by wolves? Cuz they eat dogs. I lost a co one of my dogs to coyotes. Yeah.
2 hours, 57 minutes, 34 seconds
I remember the day you told me your pit bull went up and took out a whole squad of coyotes. No, no, no. It wasn’t my pit bull. Oh, I thought it was yours.
2 hours, 57 minutes, 40 seconds
No, no, no. Your neighbors. It was one of my friends who worked at a pet store who was also worked at a veterinarian’s
2 hours, 57 minutes, 48 seconds
office. Okay. And he told me the story about this pitbull that came into the veterinarian’s office. It was covered in cuts. A big pit. Okay. Yeah. You told me this like like 10 15 years ago.
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Yeah. It was like one of those, you know, they there’s there’s these companies that um take pitbulls and they breed them and make them like 120 lbs.
2 hours, 58 minutes, 5 seconds
They keep breeding them bigger and bigger. This was one of those. This thing was a [ __ ] tank.
2 hours, 58 minutes, 9 seconds
Like a tank. And he said it was covered in cuts. And they asked the guy like, “What happened?” He goes, “I don’t know.
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You know, I came home. He was all [ __ ] up and bleeding.” So he brings him in, they stitch him up.
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And then the guy follows the blood trail out into the hills and he finds nine dead coyotes.
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Yeah, I remember you told me that. We were at the store one night and you told me that you just heard it. I was like, “Wow, that is the nuttiest.” That story stayed with me cuz it was so like crazy.
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He said he went there. He said it looked like Vietnam. He goes, “There was just their necks were torn apart. Their [ __ ] legs were broken because this pit bull once he grabs a hold of them he
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just starts shaking them. Coyotes weigh like 30 pounds. Yeah. They’re not super big.
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But they would do this thing where they would like corner an animal and they would trick it. And the way they would trick it, they would send one animal out there to get chased.
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And so that the dog would chase it and they would all come in sides and tear it apart. Yeah. They were really smart that way.
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They [ __ ] with the wrong dude.
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Yeah. Wow. Isn’t that a crazy story? I I remember that one you told me that I was like that’s crazy. Yeah. Wow.
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Yeah. There are everywhere now. They’re in Coyotes are everywhere. Everywhere. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
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They’re They’re really cool, too. Coyote America, that book by Dan Flores, the same guy who wrote Bison Ecology, Bison Diplomacy,
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he wrote this amazing book about coyotes where he explains like why they’re everywhere. Cuz greywolves and coyotes
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don’t breed, but red wolves and coyotes do. That’s why you have those koi wolves on the east coast. Yeah. Greywolves have always killed coyotes. Yeah.
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So when greywolves find coyotes, they kill them. And so coyotes are used to being persecuted by the greywolves and then they just keep moving to new
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places. That’s what they do. So that’s how they made it all the way across the country.
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So when people were killing coyotes or people were trying to hunt coyotes, they just moved. They just moved to new places.
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Yeah. They can adapt. I see them in my front lawn almost every other week. Yeah, they’re everywhere.
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Yeah, I’m in the Hollywood Hills and they’re I see them walking right past my swimming pool.
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I mean, it’s not cool if you have a dog or a cat. They will eat them. But they they are cool. They’re it’s a cool animal. They’re really cool.
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And they’re they’re howls are wild, too. These yips in the middle of night.
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Well, they go off sometimes if there’s a a fire engine goes by in Hollywood.
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Yeah, the the coyotes will react to it and go off.
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They also keep the rats down. Like that’s why you don’t see a lot of rats. They keep the rat population down. Oh yeah.
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If they if they killed off all the coyotes, it would have a devastating effect for the ecosystem, too. There would be a bunch of [ __ ] that would be around all the time now that they’re killing and eating.
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Yeah. Yeah. No, they’re they’re cool animals, man. There was a a girl, speaking of being killed by wolves,
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there was a girl in Prince Edward Island about about 12 years ago, I think, killed by coyotes. She got killed by a pack of coyotes.
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She was out running with her Walkman on and she was like a promising folk singer. Yeah.
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They said that those coyotes were unusual because they were used to killing moose.
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Killing moose. Yeah. The coyotes would literally they were going after bigger game because there wasn’t a lot of game there. So they were used to packing together and like taking out the moose by like attacking their legs.
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Yeah.
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Keep cutting at their legs until they can’t run.
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Wow. I’ve never heard of coyotes taking out a moose. That’s wild. Yeah. We we looked it up on the show. Like this was a very unusual area. Strange. Yeah.
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And it’s one of the reasons why they think these coyotes killed this girl. And she wasn’t big. She was small. Yeah. She was out jogging. Yeah.
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But that’s the thing, man. They they they don’t have rules. They don’t like, well, we don’t [ __ ] with people and people don’t [ __ ] with us.
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But the orcas seem to they seem to understand what we are. They’ve saved people even out in the wild. Like people that fell overboard, they’ve saved them.
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Yeah. Isn’t it strange that such a probably the top predator in the sea next to the sperm whale, the killer whale could take whatever it wants.
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Yeah.
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And somehow instinctively it leaves humans alone. I I don’t really understand it. And that’s why I talk
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about sort of the programming of nature to step around humans somehow because it doesn’t make sense. Humans look like
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seals with the same body shape, the same weight pretty much. And yet orcas, there’s no documented kill of a human on by an orca.
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I know. Other than worlds, right? Well, they’re so smart and their brains are huge. They’re have huge brains. We just
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equate intelligence with your ability to manipulate your environment. Like, so they don’t have a house, they don’t have cell phones. They must be idiots.
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But we don’t know. And they they clearly understand that we’re different than everything else.
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But that’s what I mean. All I think all the critters do. Well, we are. Yeah.
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Show some respect, [ __ ] We’re the ones with the guns. Uh, it’s bi. Thank you.
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I mean, look, we both love animals. I know you love animals. I love animals, too. I just love people more.
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I love people the same. But if it came to deciding whether we left Earth with
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humans or animals, I’ll be honest, this will sound mean. I’ I’d give it to the animals. Why?
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Cuz they don’t know cruelty. That’s not true.
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They don’t know malice. Do you know they listen, you’re saying you’re talking crazy talk. Do you know how uh bears kill things? They just
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eat them. They hold them down. They eat them. They didn’t even kill him first.
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But it’s not it’s not from cruelty. It’s for survival. Humans are cruel. Have you heard of Hiroshima?
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Yeah, I have. That was probably less cruel than a bear eating you [ __ ] first. No, but there’s no intent with a animal.
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He’s just trying to eat you.
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An animal doesn’t have intent, right? But the end result’s still the same. If you you were getting eaten [ __ ] first [snorts] by a grizzly bear, you’re not thinking, well, he
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doesn’t have intent to be cruel. This is just how he eats me. [ __ ] first is his favorite way.
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He has to eat you. He can’t go to the grocery store.
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He doesn’t have to eat you. He could kill you first and then eat you like a cat does.
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But he doesn’t know how. He doesn’t realize he’s being cruel. No, no, no. He doesn’t care.
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Right. He doesn’t know how. He could definitely kill you. If you were a bear and they were fighting, he would grab you by the neck and he would kill you.
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Like they try to kill each other. But when they eat you, they’re not they just don’t care.
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Right. Well, that’s what I mean. There’s no malice. Whereas humans, but the result is the same. You’re not going to take comfort in the fact that he doesn’t have malice while he’s eating your dick.
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It’s pronounced gourd.
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[laughter]
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You know that video uh well the audio of Grizzly Man getting eaten? Yeah. 5 minutes long. Oh yeah.
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It’s 5 minutes long of him screaming while this thing is just eating him by grabbing his thighs and pulling chunks out of his thighs.
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By the way, they finally just recently released that audio, right? Cuz in the movie Grizzly Man, the director refused to play it. No, it’s not real. It’s Wernern Herszog.
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He He They destroyed that audio. The The fake audio that’s online, it’s just fake. That the new one.
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It’s fake. It’s not even new. It’s been around forever. But you listen to it, if you know it’s fake, you hear it, you go, “Oh, this is bullshit.” Okay.
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Like, [screaming] it sounds fake. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It sounds fake.
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But the point is like, yeah, people are gross and cruel. So are chimps, you know? So what they do to monkeys is [ __ ] horrific. Yeah.
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You know, I don’t know if they’re doing it on purpose, but they what they do to people. It seems like they’re doing it on purpose. When they bite your fingers off and pull your eyeballs out, it seems
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like they’re being cruel. You know, I think it’s a primate survival tactic, especially like primates that engage in war. Like chimps engage in war, you
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develop cruelty in order to be better at your job.
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Yeah. But I I think with them, they they lack emotional cru cruelty. Like humans,
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we have we have the knowledge to know something’s bad or good. They just know survival and we engage in bad which makes us a different kind of cruel.
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Yeah, that’s a good point. Yeah. Did I just win my first argument?
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No, I mean you’re right. I agree with you about that. We we have a certain type of cruelty that’s not, you know, it’s not like any other animals cruelty
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because we’re aware of how it’s going to affect other people. There you go. Yeah. They’re not really aware of it. They just don’t care.
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Yeah. You know, you know when they do those things where they communicate with chimpanzees, they teach them sign language.
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You know, they’ve never had a chimp ask a question. Yeah. Right. Interesting. Isn’t that interesting?
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They communicate, but they never like Yeah.
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Why are you wearing clothes? There’s not, you know what I mean? I never thought of that. Yeah. That’s weird, right? Yeah.
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Can we get Arby’s for lunch? Like, why don’t they ever ask for anything? They don’t ask.
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Yeah, that’s Well, wait. Did Did um You know what? That’s not true. How so?
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Coco the gorilla the the gorilla he would ask for affection. He would ask
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for love and hugs. I think there’s Oh, yeah. But that’s a request. That’s not a question. Like why am I here? Oh, okay. What is this building?
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You’re talking more of a philosophical question.
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No, I’m talking about h being having actual curiosity about like its environment, right? I understand. Why is your skin white and mine is not?
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What is They’re just not aware. How come you don’t walk on your hands?
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You know what I mean? Like what what we call intelligence is very compartmentalized. It’s very in our intelligence. We have the intelligence
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to understand this thing probably doesn’t like being in the cage. They don’t think that way.
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No. Do you believe in the concept of a missing link like something in between homo erectus and Neanderthal and then us
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modern day? Is there do you think there’s a missing creature? I think the first of all the real problem is what’s the evidence in
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terms of the fossil record? It’s very incomplete, right?
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Because it’s hard to get fossils, right?
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Like for for someone to leave a fossil behind, you have to die in mud or has to be specific conditions.
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So most animals that die, I think we looked it up before, it’s like 99% are never going to leave a fossil, right? So when they find things like
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Dennis Ovenans, so the Dennis Ovenans, I think they found in the 20110s or something like that. When did they find them? Was it more recently than that?
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Maybe it was more recently than that. So they just found like a tooth and a finger. And then and then they start finding bones. They’re like, “Hey, this
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is not like a normal human tooth. This is not like a normal human bone.” And then they do DNA tests on them and then they go, “Oh, this is different. This is
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a different type of human.” So there’s humans that lived alongside humans that we just found out about 10 years ago. Huh?
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So how many versions of ancient homminid to modern homo sapien? How many versions were there that we have evidence of?
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That’s what we don’t know.
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What’s the homo 2008? Here it is. Michael Shunov of the Russian Academy of Sciences and other Russian archaeologist.
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Oh, what happened? We just got scrolled player.
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What is that? That was weird. and scrolled. What did it just do? That was so weird.
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That was so weird. It’s like It’s like they didn’t want us reading this out loud. What’s the homo we’re missing?
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Uh, that’s a good question. So um archaeologists from the Institute of Archaeology and Ethnography of the Siberian branch of the Russian Academy
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of Sciences in Novo Cibrisk Aador
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investigated [snorts] the cave and found a finger of a juvenile female homminid originally dated from 50 to 30,000 years ago. Huh.
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And then the estimate was changed to 76,000 to 51,000 years ago. Specimen was originally named exwoman.
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So anyway, um the whole thing is that they found that this is go back that again um a novel ancient hominid
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genetically distinct from both contemporary modern humans and from Neandertos. So they knew from that that it’s a new kind of human and that’s just
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2008. So this is 18 years ago they found that. So, who knows how many ones they could find if they kept if you had there’s a limited amount of
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archaeologists that are doing this kind of work. Imagine if you had thousands and thousands of them scouring Asia,
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scouring Africa, looking. There’s probably a bunch more that we haven’t discovered. Oh, definitely.
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So, this idea of the missing link, I’m not sure if that’s accurate. Okay.
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But then the question is good. I’m glad you said that because it it sort of illuminate illuminated me a little too. I hadn’t thought of it in those terms.
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2008, a Taiwanese citizen purchased a fossil homo mandible dredged from the seafloor of the Taiwan Strait from an
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antique shop and donated to Taiwan’s National Museum, the National Science.
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Uh, attempts to extract the DNA were unsuccessful, but in 2025, protein analysis of the specimen designated Pangu one was published showing that it belonged to a male Dennisovven.
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That’s was this in a shop?
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I love the missing link was in an antique shop. Well, that’s how they found Gigantoythecus, too. They found I like that old lamp. I’ll take that
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plate. And how about historic missing link? How much is that? The hell?
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I think it’s just a different kind of person. Yeah. You know, and then interesting.
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If they kept finding more of them, maybe we’d have a better understanding of like what we’re talking about. But there’s a giant leap. That’s for sure.
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Yeah.
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It’s the biggest mystery in the entire fossil record is the doubling of the human brain size over a period of 2 million years. Well, it’s a nutty nutty
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thing that happened. All of a sudden, our brains grew.
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Well, what’s interesting to me, too, is that you you do have some fossilized remains that are very, very, very old
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that date back to, you know, caveman era stuff. And then we have stuff closer to what we just looked at, but there’s that
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that one transitional where you’d think there’d be a transitional creature that they can’t seem to find.
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They might find it. They might. I hope they do. And I think some of these are getting closer. They don’t have like a lot of Dennisovven bones, but there’s going to be a few more that
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they find, I’m sure, if they keep looking. I bet there was probably a bunch of different kinds of humans. The question is like, why did we succeed?
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And why why are we so much smarter than all the rest of them?
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We should go antiquing this weekend. See what we can dig up. I don’t think it’s that way.
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Well, according to that missing place in an antique shop in China, right? It was a long time ago.
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I don’t care if they bought china or pottery. I just let’s go. I got to wrap this up, buddy. Yeah, buddy.
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Always good to see you, brother.
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Great to see you. Thanks for having me, brother.
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Thank you for being here. Uh Wingman, it’s Is it available? Streaming is available everywhere.
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It’s only streaming uh on Apple and Amazon Prime right now all over the world. And then in Canada, we will start
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streaming the end of June. And they might even do uh 60 to 90 theaters up there. So, we’re excited. Yeah. So, yeah, Wingman. Yeah. Yeah. And good luck with the Tony one, too. That sounds fun.
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Yeah. And hopefully maybe we’ll see you there.
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Hopefully maybe. And congratulations on guest of the year. That’s awesome. Also, that was that was last year. Yeah, that was last year. Thank you, buddy. Great to see you. Love you, man.
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Love you, too, [music] brother. All right. Bye, everybody.
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